`Vague Visions`~Keatsian Ode

Vague Visions~


Vague visions of you in deep grey twilight
snared my soul, when death swiftly claimed you there
'true colors hide the rain;' stealing warm nights
'most sweet it is' naught,tis stagnant stale air
Oh, sleep! sleep on, beneath a shadowed tomb
yet, let your spirit's love remain with me
vacant now, my heart bleeds and eyes doth weep
Oh, deep down, thy death has caused mortal wound
no rosy 'morrows shall I ever see
and red sunsets no longer mine to seek

Nor can I ever embrace silver moons
whence, we kissed and stars shone and danced above
gone, the magic of our love song's sweet tunes
blissful moments we shared entwined in love
The sea of life~'tis a motionless wave
mountain's purple majesty, lost its hue
azure no longer paints vivid skies
My life itself; like a lonely lost grave
unbearable, my darling, without you
everlasting teardrops line these sad eyes

And winter winds shall turn summer's breeze cold
'alas,'tis but a bitter breath of dust
breathing sorrow's wreath of pain still quite bold
in solitude, misery, live, I must
It matters naught 'ere moon rises or sets
nothing can fill this empty void I feel
green valleys nor hillsides can comfort me
Each dark step I take will have blind effects
nor have interest thru~cold eyes of steel
whence, stars sparkled, these same eyes saw with ease

Author's Note

The Keatsian (or English Ode) is constructed using lines of
iambic pentameter. As a general rule, there are three verses, but
even Keats himself used more than that in some of his odes. The
rhyme scheme is:

ababcdecde fgfghijhij klklmnomno - ten lines per verse.

Subsequent verses follow the same pattern, and the verses should
not be interconnected with rhyme at all.

As a refresher, an "Ode" is typically a lyric poem of heightened
or intense emotion, usually intended to be sung.

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

lovely lovely LOVELY piece! I love your words choices, and i love how classy your words are, and your piece altogether. It's classy and classic, and really well done.

"Nor can I ever embrace silver moons
whence, we kissed and stars shone and danced above "

loved that :)

'unbearable, my darling, without you "

for some reason, that line was perfect. :) made me sigh.

wonderful job, m'dear!

[ANM]

Really. Liked this Fran so well put together I would not have a clue where to start!

[Fran Marie]

thanks, ANM, for the nice comment on my poem;

[ANM]

You are very welcome always like to hear from you!

[Shalini Dinesh]

I am usually a fan of your poetry, just as I entered the elite contest, I saw yours and immediately opened to read, as usual it was awesome, awesome is not the apt word, maybe more than that. Keep up the good work .

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning Ode.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

What I like about you, Fran, is that you are the kind of great poet who is willing to learn as much about poetry and its many forms as possible, then use them in poems. I do the same thing and believe all who are seriously in love with poetry (reading and writing it!) will do that too.

[John Morris]

This is very good. I loved every word.

You just missed out on the top spot in the daily comp but you were ahead of 20 other competitors so well done! Try again.

This is an outstanding write it is just a shame i saw one i thought was a little better.

The contest has never been so close.

[Sound]

I'm sucker for Keats. Any English poet, actually. I love Tennyson, Woodsworth, Browning. This poem refreshed my memory of such great poetry, and made me sigh with the refreshend love of those poet's great writes. It takes a lot to do that. My favorite is still Tennyson's "Ulysses".

Thank you very much for sharing this. Loved every single line.

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Mmm wow, this is a wonderful piece. The writing is simply amazing and I enjoyed every minute of it. Fantastic write!!!

Heather

[The Autumn Faerie]

Beautiful and educational.
A true masterpiece!

[Greg the Bard]

I like the write and your explanation of the structer is good. I'm a Keats fan from long ago. In that it is not the easiest way to express ones self it is exacting and truely should be sang. To that end your work is impressive. I love the word use and imagery. It was fun to read and reread but in the end I came away a little sad. Great write,

[Writer CW Kirkland]

I enjoyed this piece very much, and I thought your choice of wording was excellent. It has a romantic and mystical sense about it. Thank you for outlining the form of poetry in the Author's Note, and I am impressed that you are able to write in this form. Thank you for sharing your writing on the Cafe, and I look forward to reading more in the future.