Dark December

Something wicked this way comes
'TIs an evil so profound
To dwell upon,to feast upon
Don't let your guard be down

It comes by night,it comes by day
It smothers out your light
It seeps so deep,,'neath skin to stay
It makes you weep an endless plight.

This wicked evil thing will penetrate
and take away one's soul
Without remorse,it bends and breaks
of which you have no control

Like Dark December it strikes
with cold and deadly force
So bid your sun farwell
and surrender with no recourse,
Just when it comes your way?
You simply cannot tell.

Darkness lives within it's womb
It's the same as death
as by now you may know.
I speak of Depression's tomb
A living demise which kills quite slow.

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

I have only just written a piece about depression/anxiety and I know the pitfalls all too well Fran. It is a curse of sorts and carries with it a need for peace and quiet. You have the feelings in a nutshell and unfortunately so. It is sad isn't it? That so many are afflicted with the kind of malaise and disinterest in life that makes life unworthy.
As always a well thought out piece of literary prose with a little tabasco hidden in its lines.
Cheers,
Helen :-)

[fireofunrest]

for some odd reason, it reminded me of a song. Midnight Oils "Beds Are Burning" to be exact. I have no idea why, it just brought that out of me. Nostalgia I am guessing. Old memories of when I was younger dredged back up. thank you for a great read. Keep up the great work!

[The Dark Passenger]

I see what you were trying to do, and the emotion you tried to convey is definitely an interesting one. It's one that's affected myself too. I think you have to think a little bit about saying without saying it though... if that makes sense? Try not to be so blatant perhaps? This is my own thoughts anyway, it just seems like you put it out there when it didn't need to be. I knew what you were talking about, but then you explained it with "I speak of Depression's tomb". It wasn't necessary... You spent all that time creating a fantastic imagery, and unfortunately destroyed its impact by explaining yourself.
Perhaps you need to be a little more confident in your craft- because you have some really good ideas here.
Also, I agreed with some of the other reviewers that it didn't flow too smoothly in places.
I think that with just a little bit of re-engineering, this piece of writing could be really really strong and amazing. Good luck and keep going, you've definitely got talent.

[Rosary]

its a good poem and a good read but i dont feel to much emotion involved in the writing just my opinion

[PhoeniX]

depression is something that if its not controlled can kill you within. the rhyme was good but the rhythm was not flowing. it was good though. good job

[Fantasyfairy]

December is certainly a very bad month for suicides, as is Janurary. You describe it so well. In darkness and pain. XX

[julian3]

A chilling and gripping work, dredged up from the heart of one who has dwelt within that merciless abyss. The sad thing is that many readers will identify with this - but let us hope that we may all find a path into light and leave the darkness behind.
Well done indeed.