This ~That I Rather

Petrarchan Sonnet

 

This~That I Rather~Italian Sonnet

                                       

This silent pain is deafening to hear
a hammering headache nailing my brain
this dreary dark night of pouring down rain
missing you so,wishing your presence near
this lonliness, a sad darkness I fear
a morose dread,more tense than mortal pain
this thought 'pon my mind,'ere we'll meet again
rememb'ring your sweet love words spoken clear

O' That pain would take leave,cease to exist!
and knife's jagged edge which hath cut heart deep
that each teardrop shed would bring thee to me
and chase my blues away,that by your kiss
brings blissful dreams whilst my weary soul sleeps
'Alas, love~ I know this~ that, cannot be

 

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

Wow, I never have seen a sonnet on a dark note (I've seen ones with a sad tone, even mine, but never DARK.) And I loved this. Now I know sonnets can express darkness as well, thanks to you :) The imagery created stood beside my eyes. I could just quote the whole poem and I have nothing to critique :O Well done!

Keep writing.

[mattavelli]

This is lovely! Petrarchan is my favorite sonnet form. You're is beautiful!

[Fran Marie]

many thanks, Matt; I so appreciate it and glad you enjoyed;

[Becky C Strukamp]

A very outstanding beautiful sonnet.

[Sarah Morgan]

This is a beautiful piece. "This loneliness, a sad darkness I fear - a morose dread, more tense than mortal pain" Those lines are really deep and it reminds me of sometimes of when things cannot be and how lonely it is and the fear of being alone and if you can cope. I haven't been on writers cafe in a while and I've missed out - def. gonna catch up on your writing you've done.

[.Bunnie.]

I liked it...sad but sweet and longing. The only thing I can say I wished was a little different was that you used punctuation and capitalization. I think that would make it a bit easier to read? Other than that, great job! :) Also, towards the end I think the rhyming kind of got outta line. I think that punctuation and breaking up the lines again would help this out, too!

[Sean M. Addams]

very beautifully done.. a very deep and touching write.. i think you did an amazing job on this piece and it defintley worth all the awards it has earned :)

[Magdelena]

Congrat on your win my friend!!!! You so deserve it!

This is so beautiful.. Words can not even say what my feelings are on this. Tears came to my eyes.. OMG! Sheer beauty.


Mag xx

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem!

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations for winning the five-minute poetry contest!