Dawn

 Dawn

A
new dawn 
breaks and once again
I am here with you love.
you arouse all my senses.
awaken my spirit to new heights
I'm so captivated by the intoxicating
scent of love as I breathe you in and when
you pull me into your body heat, I'm so high
your hands touching me,making all the right moves
It's so warming,not just to the body,oh,no it's more
than that my darling~ it's your soul and mind I love.


 

 

Reviews

[T. L. O'Neal]

This was a sensual piece but I lie the fact that you're in love with the mind and soul as well. That's true love. T

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

love the picture and the poem, it is gorgeous.. sensual but as T said, so loving .. mind and soul .. this is really beautiful, Fran.

Chloe
xoxo

Thanks so much for your reviews:)

[Phil Askew]

OOh! I like it, but you know me, I have suggestions: L3 keep just the "and" so it's "A / new dawn/ and I am here with you love." Then make the next few lines powerful commands. "Arouse my senses," no need to say "all," it's understood. "Awaken my spirit." No need for "to new heights." "Captivate me with....." In L9 drop "I'm so high" and in L10 drop "making all the right moves."
It personal preference, but I think these changes will enhance your poem. I think the passion will shine through without being forced. I believe it will be cleaner, more direct, and thus more powerful.
Now, the good stuff, and you had plenty here. The tone was one of passion, yet it's the clever way you take it to a higher plane with the ending, that makes this so good. "Intoxicating scent of love " certainly gets their attention. The passion is there, but so is the love. This is more than a great start to the day, it's a start to a great life. Loved it.

Phil

[angelinmypocket]

Love...and passion are at least 98% mental...and it takes mental to control the heart. A lovely passionate write Fran....Love...Liz

[R J Askew]

Well, I often think the mind is the sexist part of any human being...the sort of control room. Having all the bits in theright place in the right quantities helps, but the mind and soul are far more significant attributes. So i could not agree more with the concluion in your moving poem.

[Brianna Brie]

Wow, I never thought before that two statues could look so passionate. Beautiful write, Fran. Especially the part about soul and mind, I love.

[V. K. Harris]

Very lovely, Beautifully written. :)

[Yvonne Heidt]

Fran - this is wonderful. Not only that - it's hot. Sensuously so. It's well presented with a great picture. I loved it.

[Pema Dorje]

you wrote the unspoken in Love's sweet embrace. To kiss the beloved with the same kiss the beloved kisses me, and in that sweetest kiss live eternally... lovely write, Fran

[*** Hey Jude***]

Loving someone with mind and soul as well as body is a gift! ~ N

[PoemRodent]

You embraced this piece with the readers mind and emotions. I would say its a very heartfelt write!

Write On!!!!

Dostani