and we danced~

..contest write. For Blue Rose cafe challenge

and i danced..  as if in a hazy dream

    

                                    like a ballerina

amid lilac's heavenly scent, on a sunlit day

                

                                  and there you lie

in a pitch-black room, sad drowning in misery

 

                    and i danced over to your side

come love i whisper gently, take my hand

                                 and there i stood

waiting determined to break your mood

          and the smell of lilacs grew stronger

with an unpleasant odor

                                   and there you died

as i held your hand in mine

        and then in the black room shone a brilliant light

                                     

  and we danced~

                               

                                  

Author's Note

Just a dream that seemed so real

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

I love those sort of dreams have precious few that I remember but usually when i do they are so poignant. I love the Lilac reference I have so many things attached to the smell of lilacs. beginning to think its a poet thing:) that picture and message makes me want to jump into that painting and take that hand

[Fran Marie]

Hi Robert..thanks for stopping by to review
yes..lilacs may be a poet thing..I notice they are
written about in much poetry..much appreciate your words;

[Einstein Noodle]

i had a dream just the other night ... i took a woman's hand to dance and the connection was there but the dance had barely begun when it ended and my dream took me elsewhere ...
the moods of "and we danced" moves from an uplifting dream state to sublime and wistful to so very sad to joyous ... i am spent ;) dreams and poetry can seem so very real ... so well done says i! one thought i had while reading is in this line:
"sad drowning in misery" i wanted more of a pause ... maybe put it on its own line ... i love your poem ..have always had a heart for dance and actually have taken a class or two on several different styles ... the most fun and easy was at a cèilidh held once a month in town ... there was always a teacher to get everyone involved no matter your experience ... your closing with the brilliant light and ".... we danced" puts this firmly in my heart ...it doesn't take long in life to wish upon memories of loved ones ... and truth be told there are all kinds of dancing aren't there ;)))) loved the read Fran .. and great new avatar ..is that your smile?
E.
ps. the lilac becoming unpleasant is brilliant ... so true and so very creative of you.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks E..so vey much for reading..dancing is s truly one of the sweetest joys in life..I agree..I see where the pause is needed..in that particular line..may indeed change it.. Yes.. that is my smile when I'm happy..thought it was time to update my avatar .
Thanks again for the nice review on my poetry

[Einstein Noodle]

great smile my friend ..it makes me little ol' heart smile to see such light on your face ... peace and joy my friend!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'and we danced'
Fran Marie,
A poem which was concieved from a dream. I like that. I reads like a dream as well. I felt that the lilacs spoke of the fragrance of life and love. The fragrance fills the senses and is demarcation for a change from the death of one thing to the remaking of another. I can identify with the part,
"and the smell of the lilacs grew stronger
with an unpleasant odor
and there you died
and I held your hand in mine
and then in the black room shone a brilliant light
and we danced"
Long review but I needed to finish my thought.
Blessings and loved this!
Kathy

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Kathy so much..for the lovely review..so glad you liked my poem..I always appreciate your kind words on my poetry dear friend

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Your so welcome! This poem was very fun to read and to ponder. It is good to see how someone else is processing things of this life...dreams and otherwise.
Take care and stay inspired.
Kathy

[Neville]

a hint of lilac can be oh' so very seductive and true methinks... too much tho and it can be overpowering and offensive....... if you dont mind me saying so.. 'and we danced' has just the right amount.... a treat for all the senses here....... N

[Fran Marie]

Thanks so vey much Neville..sorry. I'm so late with my thank yous..I always appreciate your reviews..

[Neville]

No problem.. my sincere pleasure..... N

[Roland Petrov]

A gay poem, a black poem, and a gayness amid the blackness. Have I read it correctly? Not to mention how much I love the scent of lilac.

[Resa]

Magical!
That is the feeling that came over me while reading your amazing poem! :)

[angelina neves]

a beautiful dancing poem!

[Fran Marie]

thanks so much

[49k_jdys]

This was such a gorgeous read. I love the hope at the end.

[look.both.ways]

wow, you have a very beautiful style of writing. Loved this poem. Very well written. Good Job!! :)

[Fran Marie]

Thank you for your lovely review.. i appreciate so mch😀

[Rashi Jain]

Oh. That's so beautifully written. You know, sometimes it's the style of writing that attracts. It's so painful to read yet so beautiful.
This expression has left it's impact on me. All I can say is you are such a graceful writer ♥❤

[Fran Marie]

Thanks so vey much for the lovely comments on my poem.. i appreciate it..😀

[Regina Ann T]

I love the use of your words here. It sounds like a movie that should be made. I love the reference to lilacs, as I love lilacs. Great work, keep it up.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Regina soi much for the great review on my poetry. 😀

[Regina Ann T]

You are very welcome. I like to let people know that I enjoy their work, it also is a great motivator to keep doing your best work.