`Mercy~Her Sigh`

My Sonnet based on Ophelia from Shakespears "Hamlet" Her thoughts as she lay dying

 

 

She sighs his name with her last dying breath

he her wind in the ashes of death

she pleadsby faint light of sad blishish moon

bellowing mercy~her departure soon

her shadowed soul death may escort from pain

her spirit has died as willows weep in the rain

life intolerable,misery doth claim

she grieves and does think herself quite insane

now quietly she slips into a watery grave

relaesing her soul to the winds of space

she conceded with saddened heavy heart

Mercy appealed~oh that gods do their part

yes,'tis but glory which doth await in death

and his name she did sigh,with last dying breath

Reviews

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The great old spirit of romanticism � so many people are confused here, think romanticism is that happy go lucky thing about fluffy valentine's day presents � if only they read Goethe � Romanticism � the almighty omnipresence of nature: including that Saturnian revelation that upon the dying breath there flows a moment of eternity �

[Sean M. Addams]

very beautifully written love the detail in this

[Imperfection]

This is a fine piece.

[Emily B]

Lovely and beautiful!

[Kristin Brecoe]

nicely done, but it was a sore to my eyes to read something so giagantic. ><
Bellowing mercy,her departure soon---watch your spaces...

also, don't use doth, use does. and the same almost goes for tis.

you have a modern worded poem, and using older words like that just dont fit as nicely.

however other than that, i think the poem is fantastic. good luck in the contest.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Wow. good write. beautiful poem.

[Valentine]

This is beautiful..I am saving it to read again..One of the nicest things I have read in a while..God bless ..Valentine

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

beautifully written piece...

[Allison Julia Mouret]

I've read Hamlet, and although your poem is beautiful I don't think Ophelia died just because of Hamlet. She died because the world, like the water she drowned in, was weighing her down to the point where she couldn't breathe. It was everything, and everyone, there was no single man nor single cause.. it was the eternal suffering of it all that brought about her demise.

[Poeticpiers]

A nice effort well chosen subject one or two small nits She pleas ? perhaps pleads
Bellowing mercy striked an incongruous note Grave and space dont rhyme
Certainly a variant sonnet I think you could tauten up with a few small tweaks. Elizabethan English is quite difficult to write