` One Day in August`

lying outside in the August sun
feeling its fiery warmth
 crying alone

          the ferns on the patio
             seem to weep with me
                yet the roses are smiling

 it doesn't help

only loneliness bursts within
everything is different since
you drifted out of my life

            i polish my nails

                 dab a bit of lipstick
                     sip some iced- lemonade

everything is fine for awhile

then you magnetize my mind
as if it were not my own
drawing my thoughts to you

 
               the gentle caress
                     a goodnight kiss
                               all missed

 suppose this woman was made to cry

 
sentimental tears which say i miss you
wishing you were near 
just to whisper how much

 

                    I still love you
                         want you
                              need you

if only for this one day in August

 

Reviews

[Jibey]

The trailing form of this poem is like a trickling brook that meanders along, touching the banks but never able to regain its source (if this rambling comment makes any sense). We long for lost relationships, for lost opportunities... but only the future remains. I catch the poignancy and pain of this and feel a deep sense of wanting to comfort... Good to keep spilling it, maybe.., and to go with the flow.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Jibey..ever so much for the lovely insightful reviews..I so appreciate;

[Einstein Noodle]

oooooooooo i like your adventuring in form, Fran!!! my kind of voice ;) your poem is so emotive .. read it out loud .. i am moved by the simple everyday things that lift the heart of the grieving for just on moment .. a .. there is a light at the end kind of thing .. but mot today .. not right now .. we do crumble in powerful emotions .. incredible write says i .. thanks so much for sharing
E.

[light and ashes]

Amazing Fran, just amazing..
Absolutely loved, so much.

It is amazing how deeply we feel certain bonds, and how we can not let them go, even after they are severed, not completely.
I remember when my best friend and I were no longer friends, I cried every night for many months, mourning that loss.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you , Light for reading and the lovely review, yes we feel the loss deeply..& it can be one day in sny months ..so true...

[Betty Hermelee]

I almost cried reading this...such sentimentality, even though no one is paying attention to you; your words are sorrowful but soft and gentle....you wish he would come to you with that flashy lipstick and all spiffed up, but no...;you cannot stop thinking about him.... a well written piece with so much emotion.
Best, B

[Fran Marie]

Thank you dear Betty
always appreciate your kind reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome!
Best, B

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Fran… if only He were a feathered Lover, you could entice Him with Sunflower seed… or perhaps a Sip of Sweet Nectar… Perhaps September when the Moon is full of Romantic Persuasion. tenderly, Pat

[Fran Marie]

perhaps you're right about that
dear Pat..thanks so much for
your lovely poetic response
I so appriciate🌷

[Fabian G. Franklin]

What a sad, relatable and human remembrance. Some people hate Christmas because they lost a loved one around that time of year. I always think of my mother in late October but the season is changing, the leaves are dying too but ablaze in beautiful glory. It somehow seems appropriate. I'm reminded of a Tom T. Hall song, "I Hope It Rains at My Funeral" Maybe it will seem that at least heaven may weep. This was such a touching piece Fran.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you Fabian for
your kind words and
thoughts on this one🌷

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe August is a slow month. Time to reflex.
"sentimental tears which say i miss you
wishing you were near
just to whisper how much"
I understand the complete poem and the above lives. I wish for too. Thank you dear Fran for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Fran Marie]

thanks dear John
i s o appreciate
your kind words
on m y poetry;

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Fran.

[Robert Trakofler]

the way you relay the longing in this is very drawing the ebb and flow feels like a shifting breeze as i read the lines and the sentiment becomes adrift in my mind very nice write Fran

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Robert..ever so much for reading and the review..I appreciate your words on my poem;

[barleygirl]

I love the creativity of this message. I recognize the sensations of being "hooked" on the thought of someone, but trying to stop that mind obsession. Your drifting off sequences are good, with the various text lay-out done to coincide. August is a good month for reveries . . . *sigh!*

[Fran Marie]

Thanks BG.. so very much for reading.. i so appreciate..😀

[Phill Oz O'fee]

The word format expresses a sensation of drifting in and out of reflective thoughts and emotions. The poetical linking throughout compliments the drama and poignancy of the subject matter. A greatly expressive write … excellent!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks.. Phil Oz 'so vey much appreciate your reading my poem ..😀