An Urban Legend

 

It was dark in the city, a sinister evening and of course it was raining,as usual, yeah, it always rains in my true or untrue tales as the case may be.
But not to get off track, back to this dark dreary night that revealed murder and how one can watch the drama unfold just as I wrote it.

He was just an ordinary run-of-the-mill hoi- polloi;blue-collar hard working married man,nevertheless a two-timing cheat,rat, that he was.
Nothing unique about him at all, unless you considered the unusual decorative walking cane he always carried around with him and the evil contained therein.
He had an ulterior motive for killing her that night.His girlfriend,a classy-dame who lived in Umber Estates among the high- class elite on the upper east side of town.
She threaten to tell his wife of their affair if he didn't leave his wife to be with her forever. She begged him for the umpteemth time and he said 'Soon baby soon'
She didn't hear the mumbling under his breath part,'Soon baby you'll be dead.'
Back to the night the dirty deed was done.Was on a thrusday he went to see her,
she was under the impression he was moving in with her,he had called earlier to say that he would .He lied!
Her house was dim actually quite dark except for candlelight glowing from
the table,a romantic dinner setting  for two.Her ulterior motive
being to seduce him and to stay with her foreverand never to re-unite with his wife.
Yes, a classy dame in love with a cad.It happened soon as she poured the Chiante wine and lit her cigarette,her last smoke in life.He pulled the curved handle on his cane,a sharp dagger slid out and with precisoned accuracy he plunged the long blade into her, piercing her heart.She now lie dead in a pool of blood.
He knew the combination to the tiny vault box behind the Mona Lisa painting hanging on the wall.He never liked that picture somehow it made him feel uneasy however,it was where she hid the money. He hated finding only
ten grand and one lousy diamond necklace,he wondered where the rest of the loot was?At least ninety grand was missing.

He hurried home to his suspicious wife,thank God she was sleeping, he fell asleep himself.
Friday morning his wife answered the door to the police, they came to question him about the murder and asked of his recent where abouts.
He replied with an untrue update saying he'd been bowling. He lied! again.
and the inspector knew it to be a lie as he pulled out a greeting card,with
Mona Lisa's picture on it which they found underneath the white linen tablecloth at the scene of the crime.With the card there was a check made out in his name for 90 grand tucked inside and this love message written on the card 'To the love of my life,Soon Baby Soon.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh, this is a delicious crime drama....bringing to mind the sort of scenario depicted in the 1940's black and white movies. I could picture him wearing a wide brimmed hat while walking with that walking cane of evil! Fran, you have such talent! Lydia

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'An Urban Legend'
Fran Marie,
From the suave look and the clever mind of your main character, his fancy walking cane really is
a clue which you give it's proper place right away. There is a feeling of sneakiness which really helps to identify your killer too. Your twist at the very end wrapped it up great. His greed and deceit absolutely backfired. Good Job!
Blessings,
Kathy

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Kathy so much for reviewing ..always appreciate your kind words..

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Your really welcome. Your above story was a really interesting and imaginative walk through the characters which made up your great piece. Have fun.
Blessings to you
Kathy

[barleygirl]

AMAZING! I love this! All thru it, I was just enjoying your tongue-in-cheek satirical treatment with a spoof on this type of predictable murder mystery writing style. But I did not expect to be sucked in & following a clever plot to an ending that's well-crafted! Bravo! Amazing brevity of words for how much story you accomplished here! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Margie..so much.. glad you enjoyed😀

[Craig2591]

Nice twist at the end. Good 'Film Noir' feel to it. I like that.

I saw this in the Passion flowing from Crime Fiction Writers contest that I also entered.

[compositionc]

Dang...that is one plot twist. I could seriously imagine this as a black and white movie. Your Grammar is a little off, but I could still read it well enough.
Another great submission.

[DowntoEarthDreamer]

i enjoyed this alot, sometimes more description gets in the way of the plot, this would be one of those times. i love it when the killer gets it stuck to him by the victum from beyond the grave! good job!

[Christian Walters]

I enjoyed this story very much and was incredibly please that your murder got his comeuppance.
I would, however, have enjoyed it more if there was a touch more description (I am quite old fashioned).