Chapter Seventeen

Definitely not the Krusty Krab

            Mark

“Chickity China the Chinese chicken, you have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’, watchin X-files with no lights on, we’re dans la maison” Rippir sings while wiggling his eyebrows at me. Ugh.

“I hope smoking man’s in this one, like Harrison Ford I’m getting frantic, like sting I’m tantric, like snickers, guaranteed to sat-”

“SHUT UP!” Coral yells from the back seat. Thank you.

“What? You don’t like my singing?” Rippir asks fluttering his eyelashes with a look of pure confusion on his face.

“No, not at all” Fabian responds in a bored yet annoyed tone.

“Or is it the snickers and fact that we’re all so hungry?” Rippir taunts. Up until this moment I didn’t notice the ferocious growling coming my stomach and just about everyone else’s in the hearse.

“Rippir-” Blaze starts but is interrupted by Corals excited shouting.

“GUYS! There’s a food joint up there!” She points out.

“Oh? And what makes you think you have a choice on where we eat and when we eat?” Rippir says clearly wanting power over every damn situation.

“Rippir, shut the f**k up” Blaze says, “We’re all hungry let’s just go.”

“What do you think, Marky?” Rippir asks me, licking his lips.

“Yeah, sure.” My dry and scratchy voice forces out.

“Why don’t we park here, we’ll look less suspicious” I’m quick to pull over at the demands of Blaze.

“No, I’m sure hearses are common for road side diners!” Rippir cackles.

“Again, Rippir, shut the f**k up.” Blaze says as we all climb out of the hearse and begin making our way to the diner. I’ll tell you, this place certainly is no Krusty Krab. We walk in and immediately find and empty table at the back. This is definitely the kind of place that I would not want to go to the bathroom in, but apparently, it’s the more popular of roadside diners seeing as almost every table is taken.

“I’ll be back, I’m going to go get something strong,” Rippir starts standing up “But don’t worry Marky, I meant a drink, I prefer the weak type when it comes to people and you’re at the top of my list.” He winks. Oh how I hate this so very much. I, along with the others, watch as Rippir prances of towards the bar, then proceeds to laugh, strike a sassy pose, and respond with a loud “With pleasure” and proceed to attack the lady behind the bar, biting off  a piece of her cheek skin. What are his teeth, honestly.

“Rippir!” Blaze screams making her way over in a hurry. While Rippir punches some dude who’s got a hold of his arm in the face. I’m assuming that was the owner.

“What? She told me to bite her!” he screams back at Blaze. I’m assuming she didn’t mean it literally and it was just a response to Rippirs sass after she refused to give him any type of alcohol.

“Get out!” The guy screams at us as we quickly remove ourselves and run out the door, Fabian close behind Coral.

“The f**k, Rippir?” Someone shouts, I’m too focused on running to tell who but I’m assuming Blaze.

“She was a b***h and wouldn’t give me any booze! Then she told me to bite her and I did!” Hey I was right, look at that.

“She wasn’t serious Rippir! Way to lay low, someone probably already called the cops and there was already a bloody ad for missing teenagers, jesus!” Blaze screams. The rest of the time of us getting to the hearse and into is arguing and the occasional me throwing in “and he killed that guy”, “and he bit that girls cheek off”, “and he punched me in the face” to which he responds with a kiss on the cheek for me. Ugh.

Once we’re all buckled in, well kind of, and still screaming at each other, I start the car. Or try to at least.

“Uhm… guys?” I say after my 4^th attempt at starting the hearse. They don’t hear me over their screaming.

“Guys?” I try again. Nope nothing.

“It’s little miss blondie's fault! If she wasn’t so f*****g whiny about how she needs her food, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” Rippir screams.

“What? Excuse me, if I do recall so correctly you kidnapped me!” Coral screams.

“Yeah, I regret keeping you this long, if I can’t get any money from you I should’ve just DUMPED YOU IN THE F*****G LAKE” Rippir says, getting gradually louder. I look around the hearse to see Coral and Blaze fuming, and Fabian sitting in the corner, not as mad, but not the happiest.

“GUYS!” I scream at the top of my lungs which really isn’t that loud due to my dry throat, but it was loud enough to get heir attention.

“The hearse won’t start,” I say once they all look at me.

Fabian is quick to get out and lift the hood as a large amount of smoke comes out.

“Well s**t” Rippir says.