Little Wind Up ~

Little Wind-Up ~

I'm interested in you-

But, you never answer my texts,

And yet, I simply wanted to know . . .

Why it was so difficult,

For me to be,

Your thing . . .

Did I have mediocre talent?

Or was I just . . .

Too plain?

Did you ever think that I-

Perhaps, had more than song,

Within the soft folds-

And ridges of my sheik sweater-

Hugging upon the ridges of my,

Rising breast-

When I breathed inward?

And that perhaps, you could feel more . . .

Than just my heart's simple beat?

Squished up in my seat this way-

I think . . .

I have faith that,

Extends beyond the matrix,

Of these sandwiched bodies, hot-

And sweaty as they,

Might chance to be, on the NYC,

Subway system.

Predictably so . . .

I sleep . . .

There is no love in my heart.

I am feeling cold.

It's a fathomless, black, empty setting for me within the . . .

Surrounded by the multiple waves of sound-

Voices, that resound,

Bats in a cavern with cantankerous wings,

Rusted and weary, as they . . .

Were once wind up things,

Now forgotten in their dreary state,

Of existence-

A condition which they,

Might have predicted if they,

Has been able to think in,

A broad extent . . .

But now they are, simply,

Things, which fly over,

This cavern's length,

Whistling their tuneless sigh,

A pointless, dreary din-

Echoes of hearts, and love, and feelings which once,

Made 'some sense' . . .

And now, they are simply toys,

With strings and corks that wind around-

And make them zoom around this . . .

Cavern's wide circumference-

They are like the Disney cavern bats,

These silly minds,

That don't really understand the way,

I work,

And think . . .

Or anything about the human soul, consisting-

They are simply toys . . .

Toys that squash me,

Into this tiny seat,

From all sides-

From which my mind bursts forth expands, exuding-

Love and beauty,

'Tangible things' . . .

From somewhere deep-

Deep, deep down, in the center of that chamber,

Where still resides,

A being.

I have not forgotten this,

That, from which you always flee, I think,

From me . . .

When I hold onto that mindless rabble -

It frightens you to think,

That I am more than just a bat with wings-

Going in some random area.

I cannot see . . .

Just why.

I couldn't have been just your 'thing' . . .

Because I am so much more than-

Your little wind up.

                                         

Reviews

[The Twin Arenas]

This is great. It's very internal and still, while at at the same time in constant motion. It reminded me of the way thoughts form on a bus or on a car. It gets juuuust close enough to a typical "romance" write without ever becoming unoriginal or a collection of tropes. It paints the corners of a heartbreak piece. Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner. Really enjoyed.

[Foxemerald]

I’m glad you enjoyed this. I wrote it on a train several years ago, actually. Thanks for reading!

[Brad Dehler]

I enjoyed your internal strife in this- very relatable to all the moments going into availability and Vulnerability. Thank you for sharing, i can tell it is very personal. I enjoyed also how you imbued strength at the end. Keep up the good work. I can have a sense on the subway, in New York. A stranger and alone all the while surrounded by people

[Robert Haigh]

Thoughts and emotions, spilling out in a poetic and interesting way. Good imagery at play here too! I enjoyed the read!

[Ranger Kessel]

Paints an easy too see picture. Thanks

[Sami Khalil]

"Echoes of hearts, and love, and feelings which once,

Made 'some sense' . . .

And now, they are simply toys"

[Sami Khalil]

Different, unique, enjoyable. Nice style.

[Sami Khalil]

"I hold onto that mindless rabble -

It frightens you to think,

That I am more than just a bat with wings-

Going in some random area."

[Sami Khalil]

"Love and beauty,

'Tangible things' . . .

From somewhere deep-

Deep, deep down, in the center of that chamber,

Where still resides,

A being."

[no tell writer]

Wow! this is a long write, but so well worth the read, I really enjoyed this write.
It's intriguing as well. Nicely done

[Foxemerald]

Thank you very much!

[lightsong]

Your writing is unique in your own personal way, it feels as if You are writing to "You" and You won't care if anyone reads or get what You say. You started with random things in life, then in your second verse You surprised me how You turn it into something very personal with your distinguished expression of your faithful loving heart, in the upcoming verses You went deeper trying to express your truth, your reality from your own worlds, will he ever listen? will he ever grasp? will he ever understand? will he keep living in what it seems fear? your last two verses are powerful, one speaks of that wound and confusion the last speaks of your powers back to You knowing your worth. thank You for sharing your sincere poetry, I love when I read a heart that speaks in honesty without fear. B.T.W I love that You are a Fox :)

[Foxemerald]

Thank you for reading and taking the time to write me a heartfelt review, fellow poet. I’m glad you enjoyed. This was written a few years ago, so my style has probably changed since then, but the pain and passion I felt then, that inspired me to write it, is still crystal clear. You probably have a point in that I tend to write more to myself- they tend to be poems which channel emotion, so my focus is on one thing at the time. I’m writing for relief, not so others can think I’m a great talent, haha.

[lightsong]

aaaww I didn't mean You don't have a talent ;) I meant You write from the heart with sincerity that You don't care so much if someone says You have a talent or not, but believe me, what's written from the heart, reaches the heart ❤️ and You are so welcome~

[Foxemerald]

Thank you! I know you didn’t mean that :). Funny, I wrote this piece a long time ago and am still getting a lot of responses. It was a ‘raw piece.’

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

This write speaks volumes of poetry, meaning, talent, insight and voice. Wonderfully explained and expressed. By the end of it I could really hear your voice and it was relaxing, reading into my mind. This is different from a lot of vent poems. Tyfs I enjoyed the read.

[Foxemerald]

Thank you very much! I really enjoyed your constructive review, and am glad it spoke to you.