Broken

I have applied for roughly 6 different police forces over the last 6 years and have came so close to getting in every time but miss it. Yet I see people less qualified than myself who are getting it.

Dear me,

I know how you feel,
I know the feeling of failure, 
The feeling of being told you're not good enough,
Even though you know you are,
The feeling that sticks a gun and a badge just out of your reach,
Yet close enough to your heart to hurt you,
Why can't I get in?
Is it to do with minorities or gender,
Maybe, but lately it's easier to render myself as being cheated,
But what if it's truly not meant to be,
The flashing lights in the crying streets, Telling parents their child has died,
I'm volunteering to be the bearer of bad news,
The walking target for the misfits of life,
Whether it's a gun or knife.... or letter,
It all hurts the same,
It all shows this show is just a game,
Like a bad joke told for the 4th, 5th, and 6th times,
As if you are betting on yourself time and time again,
Then the universe bets just one dollar more,
And there's nothing I can do,
The rules haven't been broken,
Only I have.

Author's Note

All comments are appreciated. Cheers.