vent

Some thoughts from a rather depressing day at work. RIP, Myla. I miss you.

COME IN EARLY, she begs, I NEED YOUR HELP

I agree, phone sandwiched as friends look on in chagrin

as her next few words whirl tornado-fast

...NEW GIRLS...

...FLORAL IS BUSY...

...FUNERAL HOME...

I agree again, already far away from the body I'm sitting in

The sweet smell of flowers perfumes the van as I fight traffic

a memory of stained glass and formaldehyde imprinted on my heart

I cover your memory with a lace handkerchief; cold rain wets my cheeks

as I pass arrangements to funeral directors with reproachful eyes and downturned lips

TOO LATE, they grumble

what's new, I think

The little church in the little town smells like dust and sleepiness

lilies and baby's breath tickle my nose as a handful of people chatter near the door

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT AT ONE O' CLOCK, she told me when I left, wringing her tiny hands

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. GO SEE IF ANYONE'S STILL THERE?

the handful of humans around me unravel as I walk to the altar

setting the flowers near the space the dead had once occupied

I turn on my heel and hurry back into the drizzle

 The headstone is cold under my hand.

It is not yours, but it is new. Like yours.

I lay the flowers beneath the laser-etched image of his laughing face.

The dirt is freshly turned. Like yours.

PROUD FATHER, the stone announces.

36, it wails.

2016, it screeches.

Too young, I think, as my hands set cheerful pots on either side of his stone.

Just like you.

I pat his headstone and whisper a reassurance of his worth. But I am thinking of you.

If I cry, there is no witness besides the quiet country cemetery and the steering wheel,

and the evidence is washed off with the rain.

Author's Note

The image does not belong to me. It is taken from this site: http://www.allshapesbonsai.com/blog/plant-profiles/japanese-maple

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[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

The ocean is deep and wide but the tears of life add to it, sustaining it, making it what it is. Thinking of you, my friend.