Why Did You Save Me?

We slowly watch it come at us, at least Liam can move, I lie here helpless, not knowing what's going to happen next for me. The obvious is next for Liam though, he starts running, leaving me behind for his little test that he has with me. I groan.

The Reaper slowly makes his way toward me, turning it's head with a clanking noise. All I know I can do is caterpillar crawl my way, but the pace of the Reaper is much too fast to try to fight against. With every step it takes, a new puff of smoke expells, making everything much harder to view. 

I can't scream. I can't yell nor cry. I just lie here, remaining motionless, like all my nerves have shut down. What's with me? I don't try to resist, or to at least try to get away. 

There he is, just feet away from, and he slowly raises his scythe. I closes my eyes, knowing I'm going to feel excruciating pain course through my body. Waiting, I thought through everything that I could remember, all that I'm able to know in this world. It wasn't much that I knew, but it was something that I overview in my head because it's all that I have.

I wait, my blood rang in my ears. My mind slowly became blank with every second that passes. With every step closer that the Reaper took to me. I stood by to die. Because there isn't anything left that I could do. 

Still holding on for pain and hurt, instead is a sound of a grunt and a crack. Not like a crack of a chip or cracker, but of a solid object. A thud. I slowly open my eyes, wondering what's stopping me from dying this very moment. 

The scythe's on the ground, a portion of the Reapers' jaw's off, and Lucas seems to have either punched or kicked it out. It made me wonder who could have the force to do that much damage. The scythe pumps out a cloud of smoke, then disappears from where it had been.

While still thinking about how near death I am, Lucas pulls me up from beneath the legs and the arms  and starts running. "Holy damn, you're pretty light." He smiles at me. Is he stating that I look heavier? 

I didn't respond at all. 

"Why didn't you scream? You didn't try to run away either." He views me a little concerned, that smile is gone. 

I look up at him startled, even I didn't know the answer to that. "I'm not sure." I state. 

"Really? Because most people would have been crying in your position. But you, nope, you stayed quiet. You've got some nerve, kid." When we were far away enough from the Reaper, he gently put me on the ground, and begins undoing the knots. He start with my hands, and then my feet. 

I could feel the indentation that they left on my skin. It felt weird, and they were pink and sore.

"Thank you," I murmur. 

He looks at me a little shocked, "There's no need to thank me. It's just the way that everything works here." He had a serious look on his face, then it slowly became a grin once more, making me feel warm inside. A sweet, gentle smile.

"What would you have gotten out of it?" I ask.

"What?" 

I didn't word it properly, " What was the point? To go ahead and save me, when it seems that it doesn't matter? I'm just one person. And surely, yours seems much more valuable than mine."

He drops his shoulders, then put his hand on my head, "Now, now... Everyone's got value, there isn't a reason for me not to go and save you." The way everything felt right now, I felt like he's an older brother to me. I guess it's the way he patt my head, and looks down at me, always with a smile. Putting something that makes sense out there, giving me a reason to do something. 

I couldn't help but smile at him. Next thing, he starts laughing. My shoulders drop quickly, "What's so funny?" I ask in a childish manner.

He held his stomach, seeming that I made him laugh that much. "You're just so cute. Adorable really." My cheeks burn, and not from the heat that came from nowhere. After he ends his strange fit of laughter, he hugs me around the shoulders. "I like you. You know that?" My eyes suddenly went wide at what he said. "You're like a little sister, and you make a great companion. Nonetheless, you can make me laugh." 

With what he said, it feels like it's true. I enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine. And to think that I could really make someone laugh when death is always around the corner. It's nice that he thinks of me that way. 

After our hug, I ask, "What happened to Liam?" We start walking back to where Cammy and Leslie were. We were glad that they hadn't gone anywhere. I want to befriend them, they were against me being held hostage.

"Him," he shrugs his shoulders, "I really don't care what happens to him much." 

"But didn't you just say..." I murmur off. He raises a brow. "Didn't you say that everyone had value?" 

He nods his head, "I did say that. He has value, yes, but I'm not going to go and help someone who tried to kill someone. You especially." 

I had the urge to pout now, everything sees to be circled around me. I know that he like's me, but I don't need to be the center of attention to just anybody. We walk into silence, not having much else to say. "Is that really what you think?" I ask.

He clears his throat.

Leslie and Cammy are where they stayed, inside the same building that I was forced into. Liam sits on the floor, blood leaking from his arm. "You damn brat!" He points his finger at me. "This is because of you being so stubborn." I didn't find myself being stubborn, just refusing to die. There had to be a difference.

I took a step back, not feeling comfortable with where this is going. Then, Lucas stood in front of me, a hand pushing me behind his back, and a growl on his face. His fist's clenching, knuckles white. They were tempted for a fight. For a taste of blood.

There's a spark in Lucas' eyes. A spark that ignited a flame within him. I can't imagine what could have set him off. 'Little sister's' in my mind. But that's just a small title, nothing too big to start a fight over. I don't want bloodshed, while in fact, I truly started it first.

My tongue runs over my upper lip, then tightens into a fine line. I'm not scared, maybe just a slight anxious about what's going to happen.

Reviews

[theladygraceling]

"I lied there helpless." Be careful and make sure you stay in one tense. You're using present tense so this should be "I lie there, helpless."

he started running, leaving me behind for his little test that he had with me. I groaned." should be "he starts running...I groan."

"...turning it's head with a clanking noise." In this case "it's" is possessive so it should be "its".

"All I knew I could do was caterpillar crawl my way, but the pace of the Reaper was much too fast to try to fight against. With every step it took, a new puff of smoke expelled, making everything much harder to view." Should be "All I know I can do is caterpillar crawl my way, but the pace of the Reaper is much too fast...With every step it takes, a new puff of smoke expels..."

There are a lot of tense problems here. I don't want to point them all out and make a super long review though. Make sure you don't use "couldn't" or "wouldn't". Those are usually past tense. Read the sentence and replace it with "can't" or "won't" and if it makes sense, it should probably be that. You're speaking in the present tense so make sure that when your characters are doing something, you say "is" and not "was" and "do/don't" instead of "did/didn't". The rules aren't as strict when you're characters are speaking but if they re currently doing an action, be careful what tense you use. When they're doing something in the present, don't end your verbs in "-ed". "I closed my eyes, knowing I was going to feel excruciating pain course through my body." in this sentence, the word "was" is properly used, but you should say "I CLOSE my eyes."

A majority of this chapter is written in past tense while the previous chapters are written in present tense. Your understanding of past tense seems to be okay. My suggestion would be to maybe rewrite your story and put it in past tense instead...? It would be a lot of work but the changing of tenses is a bit confusing and it might be easier for you to write in past tense over present. Just a suggestion though. Your story is good but I get too distracted by the tense changes. You should study the different tenses and try to get better understanding of things. It will really improve your story.

[Forgotten14]

Honestly, I just now finished revising this story, so it should all be taken care of. For the rest of the story, I had problems figuring out past or present tense and I decided to go present. I just haven't gotten the time to take care of it.
But thank you for noticing that though, and for pointing out all the little errors.