The Wrong Survivor

Upon coarse verses does my soul endure,

Your eyes say you love me,

But your speech tells me otherwise,

Just as Lucifer cannot be trusted,

I find interference in your tone,

Disbelief in your vision,

You see me as a shattered mirror,

There's enough to reflect your wrinkled face,

But not enough to believe it's you.

Upon days of abuse from your wicked tongue,

I find myself stranded inside,

Not sure how to escape from my prison,

Alone in the dark like a child is my soul,

Just waiting for someone to hold it's spectral hand,

I am but a survivor,

Though I begin to believe,

That maybe I was the wrong one.

O brother and sisters,

Those who reside behind the golden gates,

I seek forgiveness for the life I have wasted,

The life that should have been yours,

Though your fragile bodies could not trump,

Over your willingness to survive,

I ask myself as the days end and begin,

As the survivor...

Would they have done things differently...

Would they still have the mothers love?

The love my mother seems to have lost for me.

Author's Note

I have brothers and sisters that died a childbirth, my mother and I do not see eye to eye. We constantly fight and she's not told me she loves me for over 6 years now, more and more days seem to pass that she makes me feel like the wrong child survived.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to lose a child. Hard to be a parent. I believe you are a good man. Sometime we must be the strong one in the family. Kind words and forgiveness is better than regret. Life is hard for some. Better to tried to be less a burden. Time chances all things. Maybe your mother will change? A sad story in the poem. Life will test us often. Better to be the kind voice than to regret words we can't take back. Thank you for sharing your poem on a difficult topic.
Coyote

[Forgotten]

Maybe she will but my mother is one to be set in her ways so I've not seen much hope of it yet. Thank you for your review as always