A Love that would not bleed

I wanted your heart yet it was thorned and rotten,

A black pustule of oozing desire,

But not for me you wanted more,

You could not ignore your carnal lust,

The animalistic spirit you so possess,

I once believed you were an angel brought into my life,

But you were nothing more than shrivelled wench.

It was too late for me,

I had already bitten into the cursed fruit,

Bound by my love for her I suffered,

My loyalty became chains binding me to her,

My soul became caged by my denial,

I believed I was a poet of romance once,

But now I am voice shrouded in this art.

A common jester I was to her,

A puppet in her game,

Controlled by her beckoning fingers,

Restrained by her succubus smile,

I am but a mortal man susceptible to pain,

It wasn't so much that she shared her supple skin,

But that my love refused to bleed,

And die with her betrayal.  

Reviews

[DCT ponderings]

The last two lines were clinchers for me.
But that my love refused to bleed,
And die with her betrayal.

Betrayal is a bitter pill. Once swallowed we are changed. The angel to wench is quite a fall, perhaps she was always both. Walking the light and dark of another is a razor's edge. But I subscribe to the *@*#*# school. You can't have the better of me I will not die for your misdeeds. I won't give you the satisfaction of seeing me bleed. Hence me love of your last lines.

[Simon Welsh]

Love hurts. Love this though.

[chaotic katie]

a very well written piece. Strong emotion here. I enjoyed reading.

[Forgotten]

Thank you for your wonderful review :)

[KAOlmsted]

Tough break, yeah? It's interesting, you acknowledge you used to write such romantic poetry, probably back when romance was still just an idea, and now that you've gotten a taste of what it's really like to love, and to lose love, the poetry becomes more jaded. Meh. Welcome to the club, kid.

Nice job.

[Forgotten]

Haha thank you yeah I guess that's probably true, just wish it wasn't all so dark but hey I can only write what my mind will think :) Thank you for your review

[KAOlmsted]

It's my pleasure! Dark has a place, and you do it very well.

[Pete Langley]

The outpouring of regret is tangible in this write....and the anger, but I have to admit that I cannot find much poetry in the piece, maybe because it sounds like a diatribe against your misfortune. Sorry. P.

[Forgotten]

Hey you've got no reason to say sorry, you're a much more experienced poet than me so you'd know what is poetry and what isn't :) I thank you for your honesty

[MandaBear]

Wow what emotion in this poem! This kind of reminds me of the little mermaid when Ursula took Aerials voice away in the Poor Unfortunate souls song. BTW I love that song!

[Forgotten]

Ohhhhh that is an amazing song! I have that on my MP3! Such a good Disney movie, they were so good back in the day before Pixar =D Yeah I was cheated on a looooong time ago, I knew I had been and chose to ignore it, forgave her stupidly and let her carry on. I couldn't let her go because I loved her

[MandaBear]

Awww not to pry or be rude or anything did you finally let her go? I love the little mermaid I actually wrote three parodies from that movie. I did Part of your world twice and Under the sea! I think my favorite one I did was the first Part of your world parody- Parts of a girl lol

[Forgotten]

Ahhhhh nice I'll have to check those out =D Well yeah I did in the end, but I've never been angry at her for what she did and I've never hated her. It was just who she is, how can I be ever be angry about that

[MandaBear]

I suppose your right. I guess some people are just like that huh! I made a whole book of Disney song parodies I did. =) If you want me to do a song parody let me know =)

[Forgotten]

Yeah some people are, she only wanted 'the naughties' from other guys that was it. Maybe it was my fault, maybe I wasn't good enough for her :P We dated for 3 years. Ahhhh I shall do, my favourite song which I think you've already done is Gaston when they're in the pub from Beauty and the Beast, such a good song!

[MandaBear]

Don't say you weren't good enough it was her that wasn't good enough for you. She obviously didn't see what an awesome person you are and clearly didn't want to find out!! And yes as a matter of fact I did just so the song Gaston lol I think that one too. Its kind of funny who self absorbed he is. And how people are self inflating his ego.

[Forgotten]

Haha well thank you but I ain't that great honestly, nothing special :) Haha yeah I know right he's such a good character though, quite funny :P

[MandaBear]

Oh really I think your qutlite awesome even if I have only known you for a little :)

[Forgotten]

Haha well thank you, you're pretty awesome too :)

[MandaBear]

thank you! =)

[Forgotten]

You're welcome, you know I do wonder sometimes when did my poetry become so dark. I used to write romance and now it's all dark poetry now

[MandaBear]

Sometimes emotions really can change a person. Life sometimes gets in the way too and changes us in ways unexpectedly