Born a child of God

I stand in the shadow of the Lord,

Down the valleys of hatred and silence,

I used to believe I harboured a demon,

Just to find that the creature was me,

I cannot ask for forgiveness,

For the very words scold my tongue,

Setting my soul alight in a blaze of disgust,

I am no longer worthy of the paradise before me,

For I am darkness incarnate.

I look upon the church that I know,

The very place I was christened,

The very room I was made a child of God,

Was the water tainted?

Was I submerged in the bubbling tar of Lucifer,

I child of God I am no more,

But a slave to the devil before me,

Was I doomed to the shadows at birth?

Or did I choose the path I walk.

The thorns of putrid fury pierce my skin,

The hatred of people I once knew,

Do I deserve to suffer the fate of a man of evil?

The God I once knew cannot save my soul,

For I have not a heart for redemption,

If I was reborn again would I be a better man,

Or just half the one I am now,

Do I deserve forgiveness?

Can the sins I have brought upon myself be released?

For when I stand at the edge of the oblivion,

I welcome those who I have wronged,

Don't try and save my soul,

Banish me to the shadows I belong. 

Reviews

[DCT ponderings]

I assume you meant to play on Psalm 23....
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil: For thou art with me.

That is what the opening of this poem conjured for me. A man walking though his own sins in the Shadow of a Lord who comes to see he is the evil that should be feared. For him there is no comfort to be had.

I get the sense of a man that does not want absolution, has become disenchanted with his God. In the second stanza it feels as though he wants to blame God, blame the church for who he has become. The final question "or did I chose the path I walk" says to me he knows he has.

Then the third stanza starts with a nod to the crucifixion. To me it felt like he was ready to meet his fate. His soul does not want to be saved. I love his pondering reincarnation. Because to me his questions nod again to what he already knows. He will return again. And wonders what that means.

This is my favorite section:
For I have not a heart for redemption,
If I was reborn again would I be a better man,
Or just half the one I am now,

I don't take the end to mean he is literally banished to hell but is ready to meet those he has wronged. Once again do not save me let me meet the fate I deserve.

This conjured a dark tortured existence to me. Like a man lost to addiction who has hurt the one he loves most and doesn't climb out of the spiral or a young boy molested by the church who became a molester himself. Dark No?

[Forgotten]

Thank you for this amazing review, I'm not religious per say but I sometimes feel it's better to believe in something though I am a man of science. This poem or more directed at me, feeling that I'm not who I though I was, once a gentleman now a dark marauder feeling like I'm not myself anymore

[DCT ponderings]

I am spiritual but not religious myself. Well dark marauder I hope you find your way back to feeling like the man you recognize. This was a powerfully intensely dark piece and as my review shows one can goes miles with it.

[Dr. Wood ?]

I am not a religious man but I can understand the anguish a God fearing man might feel if he felt he had stepped out of line with the Lord..I may have this all wrong, I am rubbish at interpreting poems...But this sends a message I feel to those that believe...

[Forgotten]

Poetry is up for interpretation so you could never be wrong, but for me this is more about doubting the skin he is in, thinking maybe he isn't who he thought he was. This is a direct one to me, sometimes I feel I've taken a darker path

[Dr. Wood ?]

all paths lead to the same place eventually...

[Coyote Poetry]

A strong journey in the poem trying to find peace where there is done. The struggle to know real peace come from our heart and mind. Not myths create by people create rules and fears. I like the complete poem. A very good ending to the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Forgotten]

Thank you I always enjoy getting a review from you :) Thank you for your wonderful review as always

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is a piece full of self doubt and self loathing and guilt. The poem shouts these emotions very well and has very dark and worrying undertones that ask questions about the state of mind of the protagonist. Are they suicidal, paranoid, depressed etc.

[Forgotten]

Thank you, I wouldn't say he's suicidal more so doubting the skin he's in, discovering maybe he isn't quite who he though he was.

[Pete Langley]

A hard one for me to make any sensible or helpful response to...mainly because my personal philosophy on creation is now so far removed from the concept of sin and righteousness - of heaven and hell - that I would only impinge on your obvious conviction, which I have no desire to do. As a poem , I`m afraid I cannot find any music in the words. P.

[Forgotten]

Thank your for your review, even if you didn't enjoy it I am thankful you read it all the same