I'll just write it down

I am so tired of this confusion, this entirety of my being just completely asleep when I need to be awake.

I don’t need to sound poetic to express my inner demons but I can’t help but figure out my thoughts in words and phrases.

I sleep and I drive and I stare at the black boards of my days, but when I am awake I don’t fully come alive unless your there to help me stand still.

The phone rings and my heart stops because I will always assume that its you, yet it never is.

So I will sit, waiting in anticipation but the relief rarely comes.

My eyes are heavy with sorrow, but only for myself.

The world continues to change, and I don’t move an inch.

I want to look into your eyes and into the window to your thoughts, because I know they are so different from my own.

I must force myself to start functioning at everyone else’s level before they see the real me and the emptiness that is my soul.

I know I have something deep down within, I am trying so hard to dig it out.

I keep finding more ways to make myself more beautiful on the outside when it’s the inside I should be focusing on.

As if material things can make up for the material I’m lacking beneath.

I’d end this if I knew how, but some times things don’t end as neatly as they start.

Reviews

[AK]

This piece of yours is remarkable. It strikes many chords within me. Many of us probably.