Chapter 9 Is This Flirting?

Saturday 19th May

Two weeks had passed and all I could think about was my rehearsals with Cameron. For two weeks, we’d messaged each other about what, where and when we’d meet and rehearse. I and Lucy had been hanging around with him in school; it made me happier, and sadly, Lucy.

            Lucy had been getting more flirtatious around Cameron, always flinging herself on him, making sure she was heard. But for some reason, he’d take it. He’d laugh it off with her, laugh at her jokes. It made me jealous, I admit, but I couldn’t shake off the fact that Lucy really liked him and I fell into the pool of weakness called a ‘crush’.

            We had hung out more after school. Getting Cameron’s friends out, Michael Lucy and I. Lucy would make small talk with all Cameron’s male friends, and coming to me saying that they would like to go out with me. Saying I was ‘sexy’ and ‘hot’, but one had called me ‘freak’ to Lucy and she went all hell on his a*s.

But no matter the compliments, I wasn’t fazed by them. They didn’t make me feel any better about myself, or make me magically attracted to them (even though they were incredibly hot), even around gorgeous looking young men, I still found myself casually sneaking peeks at Cameron.

            It killed me; I really had fallen into some deep s**t here. Lucy wouldn’t be pleased if she found out I liked someone she did, especially since she was my rock through crappy times. I felt worse, because I was always around him. When I was around him, I tried not to be playful or flirt...I don’t even know how to flirt! If laughing badly at his poor jokes is flirting, then something is wrong with this world.

But now, at Lank Park where we agreed to meet at half six at night where all the kiddies where safe and sound at home, the place was abandoned and creepy. The sound of birds singing gradually quieting down felt pressuring, also the trees around the park blew my way, as if warning me. The skies a trickle of cotton candy pink and truffle orange, it made me drool since I was hungry myself.

            I tried not to look so dressed up, even though we were just practicing together. But I had on my famous white converses on with my own lyrics scribbled all over them, black thrashed skinny jeans and a plain top with a comic black and white hoodie with the hood up since my hair was frizzy and down.

Cars sped past the park, drivers not giving me the tiniest bit of interest, even though I believed I looked unapproachable. I had a backpack, and from there in my hands was my lucky red folder with hundreds of sheets of lyrics I had made up out of the blue, created out of boredom in school, or just emotions I had managed to pour onto paper.

            I head a rustle of legs pushing long grass out of the way, and on high alert already, I stood from my swing to glimpse back. The trees looked dark, but beyond that was just a football ground with an actual team practicing there. Their shouts of commands ricocheted through the hollow tree trunks, screams of their possible girlfriends being encouraging.

            “Hey.” I heard a slick voice say so close to me, literally by my side. I jumped and bumped heads with Cameron who staggered back, chuckling and rubbing his head that was now going red.

“Ouch!” I inhaled, running the throbbing area where my head connected to his. “That’s your own fault, you sneaked up on me.” I pointed at him, smiling despite of myself.

            “What?” He said surprisingly with a smile on his face. “I was just being nice, you head butted me instead of a friend hello, I shall say you are the one to blame.” He laughed, looking me up and down, and I cursed my sense of style. “Nice converse.”

            He actually commented on my shoes! Even a little comment like that made my heart race and a regrettable smile linger on my face for minutes.

I looked him up and down, loving his skinny jeans and Supra black trainers with a black hoodie that looked so warm. His infamous hat that managed to make his fluffy fringe cover his right eye, and I could still find it, which made me happy. His guitar slung around his back from a black strap. I felt left out, I wanted to bring mine.

            He brought it around and I seen the acoustics’ sleek woodwork glint off of the sunset. Sweet and strange stickers were dotted here and there on the surface, I seen a few that were sweet like a black unicorn and an amazing detailed moon sticker that covered the bottom, then the strange...There was one of a bone corpse of a bull, one with an animated girl with a kitchen knife covered in blood and one of a band name A Day To Remember, which really wasn’t all that weird.

“Nice guitar.” I touched the sticker of the moon, and made my fingers linger.

“I got this sticker of eBay.” He smiled, happy I’m impressed. “What you got there?” He made his guitar comfy on the bench near the swings, he eyes stuck to my lyric folder.

            My nerves picked up, I didn’t want him to see, touch or even smell the air around it. I would only pick one song. Hell, I don’t even know if I wanna do the Talent Awards!

            “Oh, this thing?” I acted a bit too casual for my own liking. “Just some little lyrics I made.” I shrugged it off and hugged it. But he kept coming towards me with half a smile on his face, and it made me giddy on the inside.

            “Oh,” He still came closer, the smell of his body spray looming in my nose that I had to inhale greedily. Then, he skidded along the play park rubber floor, reaching for my folder.

            “No!” I squealed happily, turning my back on him. I believed this was flirting, while he chased, I teased. I felt bad about it, but hell, I loved it. I loved his attention on me, I felt precious in this little bubble of ours. It was just me and him, in the lonesome park, our own little world.

“Oh, come on.” He droned, his back pressed against mine that it made me curl in on myself, creating the hard card of the folder to scrape and cause friction on my hip bone. I winced in pain, but ignored it because I simply didn’t feel it, all I could feel were the explosions of happiness growing inside me.  

            I fully knew I was crazy, I knew I was getting all high on pure joy, and it was really crippling me on the inside.

He hugged my entire body, his warm and secure arms wrapped around me, his head dipping into the curve of my neck and shoulder, his breath tickling my ear. I was all war air, I felt slippery in his arms, like I’d vanish if I thought about hurting Lucy because of this.

            “No, it’s my secret folder!” I chuckled, slowly walking forwards towards the swings, basically, dragging him with me.

            “Just gimme a quick look.” He said, his nimble fingers ticking my sides, giving me the insane reason to laugh like a complete idiot. I burst into embarrassing laughter, which made him laugh, and then make me laugh even harder.

“Oh, please...Stop!” I yelped. Then I dropped my folder, but he continued to tickle me. He made my night; he made me feel so special. I had never craved somebody’s attention the way I want his. I wanted his attention all the time, and knew that’s why I felt jealous around Lucy. Because she wasn’t afraid to make a fool of herself by draping herself on Cameron to get his attention, I had never been as brave as her. But for some reason, I didn’t need that, because he concentrated on me anyways. Like I was a weird, quirky little instrument he loved to play.

Finally, he stopped and walked around to face me. He smiled at me and moved some of my hair out of my eyes. His breath warmed my face and he picked up my folder and handed it to me. I looked up at him astounded, he wanted the folder so much that he just handed it back to me, when he could read it while I fought for my breath back.

“Thanks.” I took it from his hands and stood straight, smiling at him thankfully.