Chapter 7 Oh S**t

Saturday 5th May

"What?" Lucy had blurted down the phone once I told her about Mr.Dunlop's offer on School's Got Talent award. I hadn't told her about my sudden encounter with Mr.Dunlop in his class, and that I had an easy audience that loved my private show. "Would you do it? The contest, I mean?" She sounded hopeful, as if expecting so much out of me.
          "Luce!" I exclaimed, knowing she knew how fearful I am of the big stage. "You know what I'm like with the stage." I cried out, pouting to myself.
          I was in my room at 8 'o' clock at night, the curtains still open and the moonlight pooled through the double glazing windows, casting plenty of inaminate objects into shadow. I glanced at my guitar, feeling a shudder as it was also in an eerie shadow.
          "Oh yeah." She sighed painfully. I heard a shuffle and crackle of her phone keyboard of her Blackberry.
          "Are you texting while on the phone with me?" I asked bewildered, I shouldn't be suprised, it is Lucy.
          "Damn, I got Cameron's number and I won't stop messaging him." She squeeked like a chipmunk, still pounding away at her keypad. I didn't care that she too had his number, but it's the fact she is constantly texting him.
          God, he ain't even mine and I'm going crazy 'cause my bestfriend is texting him? Plus, he said nothing is going on between me and him.

          Don't worry, it's not like that with me and her.

Them words will cripple me one day.
           "Oh," I sighed, unfazed with her usual behaviour. "Shall I do it?"
"The contest?" She spoke up, finally paying attention to my situation. "Hell yeah. I mean, you can get the school a trophy or certificate or something." She chirped and my head recalled that Tuesday in Mr.Dunlop's room. I can't remember asking him of the reward of winning, but I bet it's a big prize, especially if it's being held in Hugberry Hall.
           "Yeah..." I know I sounded passive, but that's because I was. I wasn't taking this seriously 'cause...Well who could imagine a troubled girl like me singing on stage? Definately not me.
           "Don't sound so miserable, Dawny, I know you can do it." I could tell she was smiling. "Oh! I know, Cameron can play guitar, he can help you!" She sighed a bit too happily.
           But, the image of Cameron on a stool, with bright lights illuminating him on a large stage with his simple but full of life guitar strapped around his neck, and within seconds, he'd get lost in his music, in his own little world. Since that's the life of a guitarist, no, of a musician. A musician's life is totally swallowed up by music, the sound, the look and the feel and emotion it brings one another or to someone else.
           "How do you know he plays?" I asked, a little envious that he'd tell Lucy first.
"I asked and he said he did." She said flatly.
           Okay, that's a little more simpler.
"Oh." I tried not to sigh, and covered it up by clearing my throat. "But I can't face it." I moaned down the phone, and I slouched at the end of the bed, facing the moon that seemed to be frowning at me.
           "Dawn, I know you that if you put your mind to something, you get it done." She said proudly, as if she were my mother. "I believe you can do it, you have the talent and you are gifted." She sighed sadlt through the reciever. "Unlike some people." She giggled light-heartedly.
           "Lucy, you can die you hair amazng colours, that's a talent." We both laughed then on.
I still hadn't mentioned the night me and Cameron went on a little walk, I knew that'd crush her since she hadn't spent a day with him first,
           "Gotta go, Dawny." Lucy shuffled. "Homework since I missed Mrs.Hoppings English class a few days ago...Yey." She said flatly.
           "That's why you shouldn't bunk school, Lucy." I scolded her politely.
"Blah, blah, blah," Lucy mumbled. "You ain't my mother, she's getting drunk on cider downstairs with my Uncle Paul."
           "Good luck." I said happily, knowing her mother was the worst when she was drunk. Always speaking her mind, hitting people or just crying to herself for no reason.
           "I'm gunna bloody need it." She huffed and said her goodbyes before hanging up.
           I put my phone on charge and just sat on the pretty large windowsill and stared at my phone. My heart lurching towards it, wanting to open a new message and text Cameron. To see what he's up to. To know how his day has been. To feel the satisfaction of him replying to me. I'm going crazy, damnit.
           To rid myself of selfishness and down right creepiness, I rested my guitar on my thigh. The cool surface relaxed my nerves, and the recognisable feel of the guitar strings felt utterly warming.
           Before I knew it, words were flowing out of my mouth and my fingers working at the strings.
     

Take away the okay,
And I'll be left to the betrayed.
Soul of suffocated thoughts,
You've left me in knots.
See all this blood?
It's my weeping heart.
I know it's disgusting,
But needless to say,
It's the love I have for you and it's bursting.
Now I sit and look at the sky,
One day,
I'll have the courage to try.

With them words in my head, I quickly grabbed a pen and paper and wrote them down. Deep down, I thought I was going crazy from writing and playing these sickly sweet love songs, but from writing all the suicidle and depressing songs for the past few years has become unbearable.
          Writing something with a new meaning was like seeing sky for the first time. Once you see it, you're amazed. The next, you take in it's beauty and mesmerize it so it'll stay fresh in your mind forever.
           Now that I've felt what being drawn to someone is like, I don't want to let go. It was like holding a baby bird in my hand, and feeling it's wings flap against my fingers.
           There was a knock on my door and I felt the wall surrounding my heart build up like a waterfall protecting a mysterious cave.
           "Yeah?" I fumbled to put my guitar by the wall.
"Dawn, there's someone at the door for you." My mother said sweetly, a little too sweetly.
           I set my lyrics on the bed and I rushed to the door and opened it to see my mothers face lit up with a cheeky smirk. Her lip curling at the edges like a duck pout and her eyes heavy under her lashes, her face read I'm on to you.
           "What?" I said slowly, capturing her eye as she followed me from my room.
           My heart raced to whom could be at the door. But when I thought it was Cameron, my heart sunk. Because, why would he be here at half eight at night? And why would it be Cameron? He said there's nothing going on between me and him to my brother...
           Oh damn, if Callum sees him, he'd wanna chase Cameron off of the doorstep, and probably with a thich wedge of wood.
           I scampered off down the stairs to see the front door ajar and moonlight pooling onto the hallway.
           I felt as if my chest rose, heart shooting into my throat when I seen Cameron's smiling face catch me when I opened the door further. I thought it wouldn't be him, guess I was proven wrong by my own brain.
            And just like that, with the look of his eyes, the smile he gave me, I felt my knees go weak and lips also curve into a dopey grin. My breathing all in my chest, my head filling up with hot air.
           "Hi," I spoke softly at first, then realised I did and cleared my throat. "I mean, hello." I smiled briskly, trying not to come off as stupid.
           "Hi." He chuckled and it sent a shiver throughout my body. I leaned against the door and smiled at him. "Nice top." I felt my mind freeze and eyes bulge. I was in full shot of the moon and it was giving Cameron a clear image of my Peanut Butter Jelly Time top I had customized from Lucy last christmas.
           I felt the confidence in me earlier leave me. Good thing I had plain shorts on.
           "Thanks." I said awkwardly. Before Cameron could say anything more, I heard Callum's footsteps trekk along the living room near the door. With one look at me in my pajamas (my top that stretched to mid thigh and looked like I had nothing underneath, when I do have my shorts on) and knowing him, his eyes would dart across to Cameron standing at my doorstep, he'd drag me up the stairs, and after, he'd kick Cameron from here to the street.
           "Shit!" I gushed and jumped in front of Cameron and shut the door swiftly and yet quickly behind me. Feeling the sudden warmth of Camron's chest on mine shot electricty through my already shot nerves. "Sorry." I whispered without looking at Cameron.
           "Why are you whisp-" I hushed him by crossing my index finger across my lips, and thankfully, he shut up. Our eyes locked for about half a minute until I felt comfortable to speak without Callum hearing.
           Now thinking about it, I was generally half naked outside in the night. But Cameron's tall frame shielded my little frame, like a tree shielding a flower.
           "Sorry." I repeated again, from bumping into him to hide from Callum. I knew my mother wouldn't tell Callum there was a boy at the door, since she obviously knew how protective he is over me. She would probably be watching me from the 2nd storey window.
           "You said." He chuckled quietly, looking down at me as it I were a cute animal with that smile he was wearing. "Why jump like that?"
           "I didn't want Callum to see me." I said. Awkwardly, I still stood there infront of Cameron, feeling the surge of emotion to my head. I felt like I could stand here forever.           
           "From what happened last time?" He raised a perfect eyebrow and I had to conceal a little whimper when he did.            
           "No," I said nonchalantly. "Just because I'm dressed like this." I shouldn't have said that, now I look and sound stupid. He'd probably think of me as some stupid girl that looks like I'm trying to impress him. Even though I have big curves and little legs.            
            He then laughed and it made me smile casually, when really, I wanted to stare at him like he was a specimen. I smelt his body spray that dusted over to me, and I inhaled. It was fresh and exotic. I liked it.             
           And I looked at him, and seen he wore his worn out Converse and faded, ripped skinny jeans with a thick, plain, black, zip up hoodie. His hood down with a black hat that made his fringe cover his forehead and half of his right eye. It was hot, I admit, and it made me fall for his dress sense also.            
          "Oh, I forgot he was overprotective." It wasn't a sly dig, but a real fragment of my life he'd forgotten and just remembered.             
          "Yeah." I said, fidgeting with my fingers and looking at the burning moon in the middle of the black sky. "Um, why are you here?" I asked, not sounding so dumb founded, but I really was confused as to why he was at my doorstep.            
         "Oh yeah." He smiled more at me. "I heard you can sing and we could collaborate in the School's Got Talent awards."