Chapter 4 Shooting Star

Tuesday 24th April

I tossed around in my bed all night that night and ignored Lucy's messages and calls the next day. For once, I just wanted a 'me' day, where I didn't have to bother with anyone's problems. Where I was content and happy in my own little world that was just mine, and only I could enter it.
                Since school was thankfully closed because of teacher training day, saying it had to be moved up to theTuesday from a special visitor coming in on the Friday, it was official me day. So I just sat in my room all day, playing my black acoustic guitar and writing my own lyrics to my own heartbeat. Feeling the sound drum into me like medication, better than my actual medication that I used to get.
                The sun was finally going down and I felt more hyper than ever, so when I ventured into my own back yard, I stood on my wood deck flooring and peered over roofs to the core of the sun. Squinting, putting my shades on, I felt at peace. My mother at work and Callum elsewhere and it was just me and the world.
                 I smelt roses from the flower bed by the side of the wood decking, the pure red roses climbing up the fence that separated us from our elderly neighbours. The sun beating down on me and heating my skin. The light gust of wind warming me rather than giving me the chill.
                 I was dressed in a long black jumper that reached my knee caps with a white bunny cartoon, with blood dripping from its nose and a knife in it's mouth. I also wore leggins and black boots with spikes on. I pushed up the sleeves and had bracelets all up my arms.
                 I strummed my guitar and I felt the air pick up and swirl around me like a tornado. It felt right and magical, just as I stared into the sun, I opened my mouth.
   

 "Sometimes the world can be so unfair,
That when I turn around it carries on.
I laugh back to show them I'm okay,
But really,
I wish someone would sing me a happy song.
One day,
I'll show the world that I can smile,
That this scenario will...
Only last a while.

Why is it,
When I cry,
All I get is evil smiles.
Sometimes I wish I could die,
I'll make people regret that I...
I forgive and forget.
I forgive and forget."

Just when I finished, I heard a single applause from behind me. I spun on my heels and spotted Lucy clapping by herself at my back gate.
               Her lonesome smile genuine and sad. She looked haunted and her head hung low like a puppy when it did something wrong.
               She wore a black dress that had a skully belt around her waist with star flats. Her hair down her shoulders that had recently been straightened. Her make up all done, eyes masked with heavy eye liner and thick eye lashes, smokey eye shadow like grey clouds.
               "I really do underestimate how great you are, you know." She chuckled and looked at me differently, as if she were about to cry. I took my shades off and had rung my guitar around to my back by the strap.
               "Why are you here?" I said randomly, I didn't mean to be so blunt. But rarely anyone hears me sing, and sometimes Lucy catches me by suprise. But I felt angry that she was here uninvited. This is my pity party alone.
               "Well," Lucy slowly walked to the fence where the roses bloomed. "Since you ain't answering your calls or replying to my messages, I had to come to yours." She smelled a rose and got her phone out from her little black bag that had been secretly hiding behind her back. "Dawny, I'm so sorry."
                Suddenly, Lucy's eyes glittered with tears, she was suprised herself.
"I know I used your story to create more banter between me and Cameron." She came closer to me and held out her hands. Her face twisted into fear and sadness, her bottom lip wobbling like a baby's. I just watched her as she tried to apologise. "I like Cameron so much that I just used your life to make me seem like the best friend in the whole world. And I didn't realise until we were all in the rain. I had never felt more s****y than I did then, Dawn. I feel like the shittest best friend in the whole world. I mean, chicks before dicks, right?" Lucy did a lop sided smile before gonig off again.
                 "I owe a lot to you, since I made you feel like crap." Lucy's cheeks flushed red and she tried so hard not to actually spill a tear. "I know you must hate me right now, but I promise I will never, ever, do that again to you." Lucy held out her pinky to summon a pinky promise. 
                 Reluctantly, I didn't want to pinky promise. 'Cause I couldn't bring myself to forgive her yet. Yes, she was right about 'chicks before dicks', but she should've thought of that before blabbing already. It hurt enough.
                 However, she was my best friend, and I needed her more than ever.
With a heavy sigh, I linked my pinky through hers. With a cheery sob, she hugged me until my feet were off the ground...For a second.
                 "You do know the song was sorta about you, right?" I mused, since it was half true.
"Totally." Lucy backed up and dabbed her blue eyes. "I mean, that whole forgive and forget thing is about me. And I don't blame you if you don't forgive me." She actually looked pained, her eyes going limp just like her fake smile.
                 "You're right," I smiled back at her. "I don't forgive you yet. You have a lot of making up to do." I chuckled with her.
                 "That's why I'm here." Lucy smiled wickedly like she had a trick up her sleeve...Well, sort of speak since she wore a dress. "Outside is a taxi with Cameron and Michael inside, we're going to a restaurant." She chirped, jumping on the spot.
                 With his name being said and the thought of him outside my house made my chest rise and fall with great air. I felt like smiling til the world knew how happy I was. Then, I felt like gasping in shock. Did he hear me sing? Was he around the corner and secretly listened to my lyrics? The thought made me want to cry in embarrassment.
                 "I have no money." I said feebly. No matter how much I wanted to go, I was telling the truth. I had no money from spending it on a new eyebrow bar. It was black and as customized saying EMO on the flat surface.
                 "That's why I'm making it up to you." Lucy grabbed my wrist in her hands, smiling up at me. "I'm paying for you, it's the least I could do." She smiled.
                 I really wanted to go, but with Cameron there, he'd pay so much attention to Lucy that I don't know what I'd do. Having no idea what I'd feel, from the recent feeling I got from Lucy using my life story to make a chat with him made me crazy. And just imagining them spoon feeding eachother was enough to make me grit my teeth.
                 "Okay." I finally said, but when Lucy spun around on the spot, I made an angry face to myself. "I need to get my keys and leave a note."
                 I ran through the open back door and up the stairs. I looked in the mirror and seen my brown hair around my head in slight curls. So quickly, I heated up my straighteners and made my hair pencil straight within minutes, then applied eye liner and one swab of mascara and lip balm.
                 Feeling pretty confident, I walked out with my little skull bag with my hairbrush, body spray, perfume, keys and phone inside and jogged down the steps.
                In the living room, I spotted Lucy checking out herself in the mirror before turning to me with a bright smile on her face.
                "Guitar?"
                "Upstairs." I smiled back at her. I had also put in my new eyebrow bar to show off later.
                "Wow, you look gorgeous." She stepped closer and examined my bar. "Sexy bar." She winked at me and we skipped to the front door. "By the way, I bagsy sitting next to Cameron." She did a sexy grin, making it all seem like a joke. But, we both knew she desperately wanted to sit next to him. Even when I felt my heart flutter in defense, I nodded cheerily to her.
                "Hang on, I gotta lock the backdoor and leave a damn note." I sprung free from her grip and ran to the kitchen and in the draws for a memo pad. I almost forgot to make sure my mother didn't have a heart attack to find me missing in the house. But if I text her now, she would be stalled from her job. She worked at a call agency and would always get side tracked from mine or Callum's texts that she's had many warnings.
               

I went out with Lucy for dinner.
Got my keys so don't wait up.
I'll text when I'm coming home.
Love Dawny x

I scribbled on a dirty piece of paper and ripped it from the memo pad glue and placed it neatly on the bench. With that, I securely locked the back door and ran back to Lucy who stood patiently at the front door.
               "Ready to roll?"
               "Let's kick it."

                    

                                           ♥

The taxi ride was full of laughter and hot air as Michael and Cameron made the funniest jokes ever that I got a stitch and had to double over from not snorting. The air was hot from my predicted flirtation with Cameron and Lucy. They sat opposite me and Michael in the taxi mini van.

               Michael gave me a grateful hug when I entered and a light kiss on the lips. Since he's gay, it's just like any other greeting, but Cameron had watched me do it. Which gave me a slight shiver down my spine, and when just said 'hi' to him, he just smiled and nodded in response.

               Even though it stung a little, he did look dashing. Skinny jeans and a button down black shirt with white lining which was beautiful. Also, nice black shoes and had his hair all fluffed up and over his forehead and almost down his shoulders, but neatly folded to his ears and slightly on his neck. When I had sniffed the air, all I could smell was Paco Rabanne-One Million perfume from Michael. It was sickening, since he always wore it. Wonderful smell, sometimes, he wears different. Then, when I finally sat down, I smelt Lynx body spray. It was exotic and alluring that I wanted to lick the air. And I knew it came from Cameron.

               Now at the restaurant, we filed through and got a table next to a window that overviewed the little pond surrounded by lights, and beyond that, towers buildings. Inside was warm colours of burgandy and burnt amber browns. The tables solid and laid out perfectly. Lsuh purple table clothes diagonally across and little mini salt and pepper shakers with posh folded napkins and menu.

               It smelt like curry was in the air, that and alcohol from a thirty-odd year olds birthday opposite our table.

               I picked at a menu since there was four because we were offered a four seated table. I scanned it quickly, since I was a picky eater, there was nothing really great. But I managed to find a medium cheese burger with fries and onion rings. I never favoured onion rings, but Lucy did.

               I knew she'd sit with Cameron, though. I peered over my menu to spot Cameron directly opposite me, and a giggly and gorgeous Lucy glowing beside him. I admit, it made me kind of jealous. And it made me more angry at myself, I didn't wanna get angry at my bestfriend over a boy.

               "What are you gettin', sweetie?" Michael nudged me and I awoke from my little own mind. I stuttered and I felt everyone's eyes on me and felt pressured. So smiled cheekily and folded my amrs on the table and gave Michael a cute expression.

               "Cheese burger with fries and a Coke." I did feel Lucy's burning gaze on me.

What? I can't eat normally because the 'love of her life' is at our table?

               "Oh," Michael said in a low and husky voice I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "I love a woman with a hearty appetite." He made a low growl that I felt a tug in my side and I cried in laughter, my eyes watering just a little that I forced myself to stop so I didn't get black trails down my cheeks.

               "Michael, you love boys, dear." I patted him on the shoulder. And his eyes took on a amused look and he glanced over at Lucy and Cameron who were watching our little show.

               "Well, gorgeous, I think you've just converted me!" He began the giggles that were high pitched. Even though I found his joke funny, his laughing was just a funnier. So I just covered my face on the table and laughed into the purple table cloth.

               It took seconds to calm down, and when I did, I looked up to see Cameron smiling down on me. I seeled my lips shut and braced the waiter to came to our table.

               He was handsome. About mid twenties, with a tux and classy shoes. He had swift Inidana Jones hair, with a Brad Pitt smile. He must've attracted a lot of female attention to himself.

               Amazingly, Michael grabbed his napkin and fanned himself. He managed a straight face, but his eyes gave it away. He knew as well as me and Lucy that he was a fitty.

               "What would you like?" The waiter asked, with a notepad at the ready and his blue eyes glinting off me and Lucy.

               "You on a silver platter, please." Michael said so seriously that me and Lucy were swept away in fits of giggles. Our weird noises got our tables stares, but the waiter just flashed Michael a sexy smile. Even I imagined a bead of sweat gliding down Michael's forehead.

               "I would, but I'm working." Michael actually blushed at that and quickly snatched the menu and read his order. "Got it. Ladies?" He looked at Lucy first.

               I knew her best, so I believed she'd order the curry or fish dish at least from when I looked over the menu. But I was genuinely suprised when she read out sushi with side salad. I completely didn't see that one coming. I even seen Cameron look at her.

               When I read my order out, Lucy smiled at me as did Michael who linked his arm through mine. But when Cameron looked at me, I swear I seen something in his eye. It could've been a trick of the light, but I swear it was something.

                Then Cameron ordered the fish dish and we all ordered a jar of Coke.

"I'm starved, and that waiter has made me famished." Michael kept fanning himself and I couldn't help watch him with watery eyes. My gut really hurt from laughing at him. He was a real laugh, but I loved Michael.

                "I can't believe you said that to him, though." Cameron spoke for the first time when we arrived here. My mind was suddenly transfixed on his voice.

                "Hey, you can't blame a dude for trying." Michael winked at Cameron and he just sat back and laughed at him. "I mean, I'm suprised Lucy hasn't got you wrapped around her finger."

                With that, I felt my mind stand still. No words came in my brain, just the blockage of Michael's last words. 

I'm suprised Lucy hasn't got you wrapper around her finger.

I mean that was enough to make me silenlty scream, but Lucy took it as a compliment. She flicked her hair back like a popstar and smiled at Michael and linked her arm through Cameron's. To me, I did think it was all from a bad chick flick. But it riddled me like the cold, making me feel violated from it all.

                "Believe me, I'm trying!" Lucy sputtered out laughing. And as she did, I was the only one who knew she was actually being serious. It made me feel sick on the inside, and quite frankly, I didn't want the cheese burger no more.

                When the jar of Coke arrived, I poured myself a glass first and gulped it down until it was half full. I felt like itching my wrists when I felt Cameron's oblivious stare on me, like a halo burned where he looked at me.

                "Excuse me-"

                "You're excused, beautiful." Michael gave me a cute wink when I stood up and was nearly free from the table. When I was out of eye shot from the table, I just half ran to the ladies toilets since I didn't wanna attract anymore attention to myself.

                In the ladies room which was a sickening light pink and purple, I ran to the nearest cubical and sat down on the toilet lid.

                Not caring if people were inside here with me, I silently screamed into my bag that I forgot was attached around my shoulder. I felt anguish and my temper drain from me completely, knowing I needed that cured my body. I stopped and shaked a little, a few seconds flicked by and I was fine.

                I came from the cubical, not forgetting to flush (so it sounded like I actually used it) and walked to the sink. I washed my hands and enjoyed the feel of warm water. Then a woman walked out who wore a leopard print dress. She came to the sink and looked me over and washed her hands at the other end of the ladies room.

                I tried not to smirk, so just exited the bathroom.

Which again, was a bad idea.

                I walked right into Cameron.

Up close, her smelt wonderful. Like the fresh outdoors after a storm, sweet yet musky body spray that was faintly there and little wisps of Coke on his breath. I didn't look up, because I knew I would be in direct eye contact. And I couldn't do that when I'd just screamed in the toilets. I knew my face would look a little flushed.

                I staggered back abruptly and straightened the strap of my bag around my shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked in that voice that was like melted chocolate down my throat.

                "Yeah, you?" I smiled up at him. I knew it was fake, but something tinged in Cameron's eye. I couldn't decipher it, so just wafted it away since it was got almost instantly.

                "Yeah, our food arrived, except mine." He chuckled under his breath at that. I had to look at him. My eyes couldn' stray from him.

                Oh man, I sound like a right creep. No, I sound like Lucy.

"What're the odds?" I laughed back. With that, we just stood on our heels for a few seconds, the air between us awkward. But for me, meant a lot. Then the woman in the leopard print dress came out, took one look at me and her eyebrows came together. She stayed away from me with a weird look on her face as she manouvered around me.

                "What was that about?" Cameron gave me a sideways look, and with them dark brown eyes in this dim light, I could've just hugged him there and then. But because of my blunt awkwardness and I didn't even know the dude, it'd probably make him feel stupid.

                "Hey, I scare people." I smirked at him, feeling that we could just walk back to our table. But he didn't move, so I felt obliged not to either.

                "I'm not scared of you." He spoke. I stopped breathing for a split second. Not knowing wether it was serious or just a joke, but when I looked at his eyes, he looked half serious and half something else.

                 And with that, I just sputtered laughing. A little off pitch, but I didn't care. This awkwardness was making me want to punch myself in the teeth. "Funny, but I even scare Lucy, sometimes." I then began to walk. And when I had just past him, his fingers tickled the sides of me.

                 Closing my eyes and feeling a snorty laugh coming on, I sank to the floor. In complete embarrassment, I wanted to die right here on the wood floor. I only sank because, 1. I don't like being tickled. 2. Because I hate people touching me where I feel like there's excess fat on me. 3. Because I totally didn't want to show him any of my weaknesses.

                 He just chuckled at me. I sat with my bum on the deck and ankles turned out touching the floor, my head hanging low so he couldn't see my embarrassed expression.

                 "Here." Cameron held out both hands. Even though I really didn't want to accept the offer incase I felt any sort of weird electricity, I so wanted to so I felt wanted to him. And when I placed my hands in his, the warm just spreaded through me like a waterfall. Filling every corner of me it was almost edible.

                 He let go of my hands and grabbed my wrists instead to get me up quicker. When I jumped up, he looked down at me.

                 "Do you not like being tickled?" Shoot, there goes one of my weaknesses.

I shook my head, still staring at the floor and feeling like my whole front was shat out. I felt low in front of him, like the dirt on my own spiked boots.

                 "Shame." Then without hesitation, he began to tickle me again. Squeezing my sides and jumping behind me to cradle me from behind.

                 The tickling was one thing, but hugging me from behind made me stop breathing completely. I felt like his strong arms around me were capable of just whisking me into another dimension. I felt powerless to him, completely unhooked. With his warm chest on my back, I felt full of happiness. The feel of some parts of me on him made me lurch forward, though. I bet if someone seen, it must look kind of weird.

                 "Don't, you perv." I breathed, but made it sound playful.

"Oh, sounds like Miss Dawny is scared of me." Cameron mused, walking around to face me. He looked so hot when he bent down a little to look me in the eye and some of his fringe dribbled into his eye. I had to bite my lip.

                  "Wait," I straightened up and so did he. "Why'd you call me that?" I did find it weird how he'd call me that so upfront when he's only known me a few days. Only close people call me it.

                  "Oh," He scratched the back of his neck in the most adorablest way ever that I restrained myself from not making and 'awe' sound. "Well, I hear Lucy call you it all the time. Do you not want me to call you it?" He gave me the puppy dog eyes. Pouting his bottom lip a little was a little too obvious. Even though I only let close people call me it, I let him off. Since I did have a huge soft spot for him.

                 "It's fine."

Just like that, I never felt closer to him. It felt like I had never been closer to anyone like this. I wanted to breathe the same air as him, feel his warmth on me.

                 Here I go sounding like a creepy stalker girl again.

When we finished our silent moment that made me bubble up like a balloon, we walked back to the table. Knowing he was right behind  me felt cooling, relaxing. But I didn't want Lucy to see, we had been gone for about 5 minutes and since she has such a huge crush on him, she'd suspect something. I had to do something, and fast.

                 Before we could get back into eye shot of our table, I turned back to Cameron. He glanced down at me and smiled sweelty at me, I couldn't help but feel fluttery inside.

                 "Urm, I need to get something." I looked to my right and seen people filter through the front door, I was finding a way to get out of this to come back a few seconds later.

                 "Want me to come with?" He raised an eyebrow and I had to raise both of mine. I felt a little tick go off in my chest.

                 "No, it's okay." I awoke from my moment of weakness and dragged my eyes away from his. Slowly I started to walk off to the side and to the front desk. "I'll be two seconds."

                 I was nearly at the front desk as I smelled fresh air, and the cold gust of wind made me shiver. I tried not to think of Cameron still standing where I left him. With great confidence, I looked back.

                 Biting my lip and cursing to myself, he had already gone. I felt so foolish, but a bit grateful so we didn't have awkward eye contact that would last forever. Though I wouldn't mind.

                 "Are you alright, miss?" The waiter that came to our table and Michael fanned over was standing beside me and smiled politely at me. He smelled musky from strong perfume. He ran his fingers through his hair and put his hand on his hip.

                 "Oh, I'm fine." I smiled back and was turning on my heel, then I bumped into someone.

"There you are, gorgeous." I knew who it was, but felt deflated at who it was. Michael rung his arm around my waist and faced the waiter straight up. He seemed more confident. But of course he would, this waiter is a beautiful man, but I don't think he bends the way Michael does.
"I was looking for you, your food's getting cold." He looked at me, then back at the waiter.

                 Michael held a piece of paper and stuffed it in the pocket of the button down white shirt of the waiter. I flopped my head down and contained a simple smile.

                 "C'mon, babes." Michael turned me around and we walked back to our table. The while way, Michael had his arm around my waist. It didn't feel weird, it felt comfortable. It was Michael, a great friend. But how I wanted Cameron's arm around me, to see how it looks. To experience how it feels, to feel what it does to me.

                 At the table, Cameron smiled at me when I sat down. When I loomed my eyes over Lucy, she was tucking into her salad, then smiled up at me. But it looked bitter.

                 I automatically looked down at my own food, feeling quite intimidated by her. I picked up my warm burger and took a huge bite out of it to fix myself on something other than Lucy's mean eyes. I didn't want to be here anymore.

                 Playfully, I felt and heard the low thud of Cameron's foot knock off mine. I glanced up and seen him looking at me with an awkward smile. I smiled with my mouth full, which was a bad idea, because when Cameron was drinking his Coke and seen me smile, he sputtered and choked. But when he laughed, droplets of Coke sprayed over me like rain.

                 With no manners, I dropped my burger and spat out my own food. Cameron continued to choke. I guessed the drink went down the wrong tube. Michael fussed over me while Lucy patted Cameron's back, her eyes worried for his sake. I felt so much better...

                 Michael grabbed handfuls of napkins by the menu and patted my face and chest. I just sat with my mouth open, some food still chewed up in my mouth showing for everyone was kinda gross. But I had just been accidently sprayed on by Coke that was already making my skin stitcky like glue.

                

    ♥

I text my mother at half eight at night telling her I was on my way home.

              Tonight was quite a thrill. I got dried up but was very sticky. Cameron sobered up from his choking moment. Lucy actually spoon fed Cameron, but he didn't for her which I felt gleeful about. The little piece of paper that Michael gave the waiter was his number, obviously. And, luckily, he got a call from him.

              Lucy seemed more herself when she had gave Cameron a taste of her dessert which was strawberry ice-cream with fudge. She gave me more happy smiles which reached her eyes. I had plain ice-cream with hot chocolate fudge cake. At our table, it's all we could smell, was the rich chocolate.

              Shyly, Cameron asked for a piece of my cake. With a swirling sensation in my gut making me go crazy, I let him get a spoonful. He had eton mess which he complained was horrible, I couldn't agree more, it even looked sick.

               Lucy did give me a sad look when he took a piece, but I shook it off, frankly getting sick of her.

               Now in the taxi with Lucy, we sat side by side. Oddly, Michael lived near where Cameron did, so the got the same taxi.

               When we said our goodbyes, Cameron slipped something in my bag. I had no idea what it was, and had no intention of finding out until I was home. His body against mine during the hug never felt more right. I felt like I fit perfectly to him, like the sea meets the shore. Lucy also got a hug, but I think mine and Cameron's lasted much longer. Yet, whenever it is just a moment between me and him, it feels like an eternity.

               "So, enjoy yourself?" I asked to lift the heavy mood that had somehow dragged between us. I didn't like it when me and Lucy seemed off. It wasn't like us to be mad at eachother, we were like sisters. However, sisters do get sick of eachother from time to time.

               "Yeah, I guess." Lucy peered outside the window, not really paying attention to me.

                I tucked my hand into my bag out of instinct, and when I felt the folded piece of paper, I felt my face flush and I nonchalantly placed a piece of stray hair behind my ear and caught it on my peircing.

                "You don't seem happy, Luce." I said and rested on the comfy seat, glaring at the back of her head.

                She made a heavy sigh and looked at me with tired eyes.

"It's just that Cameron paid a lot of attention to you and not me," Lucy looked back out the window with a greater expression on her face, like bitterness. "I actually got jealous of you, Dawn." It's weird when Lucy says my name properly in a serious tone, it scares me. And hearing that she was jealous of me from Cameron's attention towards me sounded absurd.

                "Lucy, wha-"

"Dawn, I really like this guy. I don't think he's some fling that I naturally have, and I don't like what I've done with boys feelings. But I feel serious towards this one." She stared at me, her eyes boring into mine that I felt like melting into my seat because her stare intimidated me so much.

                I gulped and itched my wrist and looked at the front driver who kept his eyes on the road, but I bet any money he was getting a good night outta this from our conversation.

                "I know you like him, Luce." She continued to stare at me, so I just blinked at her. My skin prickled from her intense glaring, but I just imagined a brick wall behind my eyes, blocking all my real emotion in them.

                "Dawny," Lucy sighed again and said in a strained but sad voice that seemed to trickle like gloss. "Do you like him?"

                The question froze me. Her words vibrated in my ears and made my mind whir with excuses, with answers. I didn't want to be here right now, I don't know what I'd do if I told her the truth. But how could I tell her the truth if I didn't know it myself.

                I gulped and hoped for the best that came out of my mouth, but I made sure my fingers were interlocked so they didn't fidget and my mind temporarily got rid of any thought of Cameron.

                "No, Luce, he doesn't even interest me." I was quite suprised in my own answer. My voice didn't waver and Lucy's face relaxed and her smile brightened. She looked happier knowing she believed I didn't like him, but that's what she thought. Because when I gave her the answer, my heart showed and felt defiant against my answer, making my blood curdle and pulse pick up.

                "That's good." She smiled. I'm glad she was happy, but I had just lied to her, or more or less to myself.

                She was happy, but I felt crummy for telling her a lie. I never lie to Lucy, I always come out with the obvious truth, because I know she would do the same for me.

                I looked out the window and seen stars glitter like fireflies above, stuck in the inky black sky.

                It reminded me of how far away in space the stars were, how they didn't have a care in the world. Oh, how I wish I could just be whisked away like they do. Like a shooting star.

                Just like that, I seen a blazing shooting star graze among the stars that shone perfectly, minding theit own business. The shooting star held it's shine a little while longer until it dispersed and vanished into the black sky.

                Goosebumps rose on my arms and my smile came back to me, making me feel a little more full.

In my head, I made a wish. Not a selfish wish, even though I really wanted it. I wanted to know how my heart made Cameron fit into my life, somehow. Was he just a passing phase? Or a leech to my skin?

                 Please, I wish later on in life, Lucy will forgive me.