White Lace Shirt

Bleed crimson blood

On my white lace shirt

The pain in my heart

Slowly ebbs away

With each flick of the knife

Black mascara runs down my face

“Cry Little Sister” plays in the background



Drop…Drop….Drop…



The blood hits my white lace shirt

Forever staining the beautiful material

My heart forever battered and bruised

My head thinks this is the only way out

The only way out of this hell hole

Black mixes with crimson

Creating a muddied appearance



Drip…Drip….Drip….



The song changes

To something slow and sad

“How appropriate” I think to myself

Nobody will stop me

They want me out of the way

Battered and bruised

I run the knife across my wrist



Drip….Drop…Drip….Drop….

Author's Note

No, This is not about me. I had some rough times when i was younger, but I never actually came to this point. Just my interrepation of what I would do it I ever did, which will never happen now.

Reviews

[Alskar]

Hm. This may have not been the best work for me to land on. I have a very strong distaste of much of the stereotypical imagery you use. In spite of it you communicate the anxiety and frustration well, perhaps salvaged with your nice structure. I often wonder if this is me imposing my own style on people, but, your imagery needs to be so much more original to stand out at all in a giant sea of this type of poetry. If you want to really communicate the pain, think of appropriate word choice, such as 'slit', 'slice'. That, mixed with good imagery, will allow the pain felt by the speaker to become more unique. I do definitely like your structure, and your lines follow almost along iambic pentameter.

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

I think this is so sad. I hope it doesn't pertain to you, but if so I'm sorry for what you went through

[李[A]]

This is very nicely written! I 'm not quite clear with the difference between the Drip/Drop, but nonetheless, the message was conveyed. This seems to be quite a meticulous piece of work: there appears to be a very good amount of action verbs rather than linking verbs, and the central theme seems clear enough for the reader to understand at a glance. Once again, good job!