Unrequited love

A poem about losing the only man I ever thought I could love with all my heart.



If I told you that I love you


would you still not care for me?


Cause it hurts so much to hear


that you and I could never be


When you looked into my eyes and stroked my hair


my heart raced, and it felt like I was flying


But when I heard those hurtful words


it felt like I was dying

Reviews

[Molly]

Perfect.

[ForeverInAwe]

Thank you Molly :)

[TLK]

I read this through a few times, including aloud. I am not quite sure about the first line of the second quatrain -- it might be a little too long.

The most powerful quatrain is the first, and I found it very pleasing if I either placed it at the end, or repeated it again at the end when I read it aloud.

[ForeverInAwe]

Thank you for the review- I don´t really understand what you mean? The long sentence will stay, I like it like that :) Do you mean that you would like to see "If i told you that i love you, would you still not care for me?" part in the end as well?

[TLK]

Yep -- I think that repetition might work.

[deaths calling]

perfect writing

[ForeverInAwe]

Thank you very much!

[deaths calling]

your welcome

[TLK]

I guess, if you're perfect, there's no point writing any more...! ;)