This is too short,but i like ur's word's.......
the line that i damn loved is ........"I FELL IN LOVE WITH GODDNESS FORTUNA,
IN THE CIRCLE OF HAPPINESS............"!!
& i loved it coz........ur's overall poem show's the mirror of FORTUNA...
but if i'd suggestion to give u my opinion.........then i'd say that u should have to write on it some more............coz....the fortuna contain's lot's of happiness..& u've to write on it......thereby ..........everyfella cou;ld know that what's a fortuna.....u've to convert'the reality of fortuna into ur's poetric word's................
anyway ............i liked + loved = enjoyed/........
so i wanna give u 81/100........
carry-on..........have a cheerful-day......
may god bless u...............
A very interesting piece. I like the line, "Your raven hair slipped my lips and caress my desire." It is very sensual and vivid. Thank you for sharing the great piece!
I dont know for some reason I think this reads a bit like a letter so maybe itd make more sense if you formatted it like that ya know?
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
oh and also you changed from past and present a bit so thats kinda distracting ut overall a very goo.. read moreoh and also you changed from past and present a bit so thats kinda distracting ut overall a very good little poem you have here
"Goddess Fortuna dance around me in your circle of happiness."
It almost seems as if the "me" in this poem only feels happiness if the goddess herself brings it to "me". A lovely portrait of human lust from a newly divine perspective.
Very nice and quite pleasing to the eyes. The layout is subtle but incredibly suited to what is written. Who wouldn't like to read a little about Gods and Goddesses?
List Of Super amazing quotes about life, life, and most important of all LIFE!
Frederick Perls
I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expect.. more..