Ending Soon

I threw it together but I really like it. Tell me your thoughts.

 

Tap, tap, tap on the cellar door.

Why do I hear no more?

Sprawled out of the cold floor

I hear no more.

 

Scream, scream, scream running through the night.

Running only in fright.

She wonders will it all be alright.

Running only in fright.

 

Wish, wish, wish for the end to come

But it is no fun.

When you are undone

It is no fun.

 

Beg, beg, beg for this pain to end

Her heart will never mend.

It’s not around the bend.

Her heart will never mend.

 

Cry, cry, cry alone in her room

It is ending soon.

And it brings the gloom.

It is ending soon.

Author's Note

I love this and I really can't tell you why. It's one of the best I've written in a long while

Reviews

[PhoeniX]

i liked this very much. i enjoyed the new pattern you introduced. it seemed to me that someone was going through pain and agony through the night. and that person couldn't go anywhere to subside it. but in the end the pain will go away. i liked how you didn't bring any cutting or thoughts of suicide in this. cause usually poems like these lead to wanting to end it all. kudos! good job

[V. K. Harris]

Nice style, well done.

[Alexander W. Quinn]

It's got a great addictive pull to it, especially in the first lines of each stanza. They give the piece a whimsical pace and make it a fun read.

[.]

Wow, indeed, it is very good! I can feel the despairness, and can see the tragic image of what she's goin thru. Nicely said. And great picture, too ;)

Mikey