Ending Soon

I threw it together but I really like it. Tell me your thoughts.

 

Tap, tap, tap on the cellar door.

Why do I hear no more?

Sprawled out of the cold floor

I hear no more.

 

Scream, scream, scream running through the night.

Running only in fright.

She wonders will it all be alright.

Running only in fright.

 

Wish, wish, wish for the end to come

But it is no fun.

When you are undone

It is no fun.

 

Beg, beg, beg for this pain to end

Her heart will never mend.

It’s not around the bend.

Her heart will never mend.

 

Cry, cry, cry alone in her room

It is ending soon.

And it brings the gloom.

It is ending soon.

Author's Note

I love this and I really can't tell you why. It's one of the best I've written in a long while

Reviews

[PhoeniX]

i liked this very much. i enjoyed the new pattern you introduced. it seemed to me that someone was going through pain and agony through the night. and that person couldn't go anywhere to subside it. but in the end the pain will go away. i liked how you didn't bring any cutting or thoughts of suicide in this. cause usually poems like these lead to wanting to end it all. kudos! good job

[Yaooooooo]

I guess that's what really matters is that you love it. I like to write myself and post them here, is a way of releasing all the pain and the feelings that I hold in me. I give back to the world what was given to me.

Thanks for the good read, and keep up the good work.

[JLMatthews]

The repitition in this is fantastic. The whole thing is wonderful, I really liked this one. Its one of my favorites from you- great work.

[ah]

yep, this is amazing, thanx for sharing

[Rin]

I like the formate you used. With repeating the words three times and rhyming. I could see this as a touching song.

[Karen Raquepo]

I like the rhyme and style. Yeah, a good one!

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

nicely written i liked its alot..i love the repeative words it makes it fun to read and easy to read along with..the first paragraph caught my attention and made me want to read on..i enjoyed this one..nice write..
Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

s~Shanty~s

[Joseph - Michael]

And I have to agree with you on this one. It's so great. Somehow, it reminded me of one of Edgar Allan Poe's work (I can't remember which one) But, you did it so great

So, all is going great...

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, this is a fabulous poem and I really like it. Nice work!!!

Heather

[NJ Schneider]

Eh, I liked it alright but I think the last one was better. I think you need to work on the flow, I kept getting tongue tied while reading it and I don't know, it just didn't work for me.

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

this is awesome.. you did such a wonderful job.