Dreams- Chapter Seven- Give Up

Here is the seventh installment of my story. Two more to go

 

But perfection wasn’t to last. My eyes finally betrayed me and leaked a tear down the side of my cheek as I pushed away. I couldn’t do this- I couldn’t continue pretending. Heaven was never meant for me- and he was heaven. I felt foolish as I moved off into the crowd as fast as I could, refusing to look back. The expression I had seen on his face looked confused and worried.

I didn’t want anyone to worry about me anymore.

I was beyond help.

The emotions raged as I went to the only place I knew I would be safe. The only place I knew I wouldn’t be caught.

The woman’s rest room.

As I sat against the wall I felt like a real fool. Why was he able to remove all my barriers until I was unable to resist anymore? Why couldn’t I put up my normal mask? I rested my head in my hands as I sighed a sad sigh. Looking at it, my makeup was running off- but I didn’t care anymore. The dance floor was dark anyway- no one would see. No one would care. Who would care about me- the sad girl who was lost inside herself? The sad girl who was scared. I was scared. Though I yearned for the closeness we had just shared I feared it more then I was willing to admit. I feared the idea that he would find out that I was giving up.

I had given up a long time ago.

There was a rapping knock on the bathroom door that made me jump. Apparently I hadn’t remembered that I was still in a bathroom- it wasn’t that great of a hiding place.

“Ana, come out please,” It was Edward. Of course it was.

“I’m coming.” I answered feebly as I reached for the door and unlocked it.

He stood- an angel by all accounts, looking worried and confused as I walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

What the hell was I thinking? What was I supposed to say?

“Come with me,” It wasn’t a question.

I obliged without another word as he grabbed my hand and led me through the dark floor and into the lit, empty lobby. He looked disheveled and a little bit worn as I looked at him, trying to stop the tears that for some reason flowed freely from my eyes.

This wasn’t like me at all. I never liked crying (mommy had told me long ago that crying was for bad girls), in fact I hated it. I hated feeling like a little girl. Especially in front of him.

But the tears still flowed.

Something had clicked when I was near him dancing. A sort of sadness that reminded me of my intentions, no, plans that night. Something that told me not to stay too close. He would hurt if I got close, he would blame himself. I wanted to spare him- please spare him.

The hole in my chest suddenly felt like it was caving and it hurt. It hurt more then it ever had before as the love I had for him dug into me like needles.

But like always- I heard his voice.

“Ana, what’s wrong?  Nothing is not an answer,” He sounded sweet and cool, making me look at him again. “There is something wrong, please, don’t keep it inside.” He sounded so sincere. It hurt me more to hear him like that.

“A lot of things are wrong,” I whispered as I leaned against the wall by the door. “So many things- too many things…”

I felt foolish trying to avoid the subject.

“What, why don’t you trust me? How long have we been friends Ana? I’ve known you since you were ten right?”

I nodded solemnly.

“Please…” He sounded pained as he grabbed my arms. Him his warm hands made me want to rush into his arms. “You aren’t okay Ana…”

“I know,” I let a small smile pass my lips as I looked down at the ground. “So give up trying to fix me.”

And that’s when his arms closed around me.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think

Reviews

[ah]

Though I yearned for the closeness we had just shared I feared it more then I was willing to admit. u need a comma between shared and i... A sort of sadness that reminded me of my intentions, no, plans that night. i dont think u need that second comma....... great ending for a chapter.... very well written, great write, thanks for asking me to read, keep writing

[Requiem]

I rested my head in my hands as I sighed a sad sigh.

[NJ Schneider]

Another short one. Bleh. Once again, another great chapter.

[Vereiya Saturn]

She needs antidepressants. Stat.
But not like she needs another addiction. -sighs-
My heart aches for her. But it aches more for another installment! Keep feeding my own addiction to this story and don't give up on it!