Forget the Dawn- Prelude

Here is the first installment of 'Forget the Dawn'

 

Not another word was spoken, nothing else needed to be said. It was over- the happiness I had found was ending in the blink of an eye. My thoughts desperately looked through my mind- trying to pinpoint the tactical error that had led to this untimely demise- looking for someone to blame this on.

But I could only blame myself.

It was my error- I had let the only woman I had ever loved out of my sight and this is where it left me. I was the one who had let my guard down.

She was dying- I could hear her heart slowing as my panic stricken eyes looked into her hers. My undead heart screamed in agony trying to prevent the wracking sobs that were bound to come. I didn’t want to scare her in her last seconds. But she was unusually calm- even as death came.

“No… God no…” I whispered as my pale hand ran down the side of her face. “Stay with me, you have to stay with me!”

 

Reviews

[Alexander W. Quinn]

Wow! Now that's the way to start a story! Great opening!!

[Jocelyn Elizabeth]

I have been seaching for a good vampire story for a long time. I hate those Underworld wannabe stories. You know the ones I'm talking about, where every main character is wearing tight leather pants, combat boots, and a trenchcoat? I can't stand them!! And here's a story with none of those ingredients and it still rocks. You have me hooked in just the prologue. Nicely done. I'm super picky. If there was anything here I didn't like, you'd know.

[~ Tex]

Well, it's a nice opening and prologues don't have to be long or that detailed, and in the spirit of some very successful modern writers, this would be just the right amount of info to open with... oddly, the prologue need not be something from the past, but something in the future... more of a tease, with Chapter One starting before that and leading up to that.

I'd be better suited to answer your query once I've read on into the entire work. Hindsight might be 20/20, but with writing, prior to publishing, it's a necessity! LMAO

[Amor-de-angel]

I need to know more....the background...tell me...Well done on a good start

[V. K. Harris]

Very tearful, I look forward to the rest, you have my attention. Excellent Write.

[Requiem]

So, little but there's so much in here!
Oooooh? Are you writing a vampire one? Or maybe zombie? Or.... ermmm.... a zombie vampire!!!!
I can't wait to read more of this one!

[.]

Ooo, very exciting beginning. I can tell this is definitely going to be an awesome story!! Please, carry on!

Mikey