No More Time

A silly thing i threw together

 

Not a word

Not a sound

One second

No time

Thoughts abandoned

Love mistaken

Friends forsaken

Promises shaken

Nothing matters

Hearts stop

And love is spoken

No more time

No more time

Alone together

Lost…

We are lost

I float

To the surface

With you

Where are we?

Gently dreaming

We realize

We are out of time

Out of time

Reviews

[~ Tex]

Hmmm, sadly, I'm afraid to admit that it flowed for me... but I've been told I'm ADHD... that I probably learned to cope through reading and writing as a child.

Who the hell knew I was so broken all this time? Perhaps if that diagnosis had existed back then I could have been helped! LMAO

So, my mind followed these thoughts easily.

To be honest, the first time I made a night combat HALO jump into the middle of enemy lines and right into my first nasty firefight, I recall how things seemed to fly about my mind... random to some, but not so random to one.

Maybe it's because I did and do process many tracks at once on many levels.

Maybe it's because I see connects in the oddest of ways because of the depth(s) my mind delves.

Anyway, I thought it was a pretty kewl piece.

I know you couldn't imagine thinking a whole lot when you're getting shot at, but I was always anything except typical soldier material. Oh, I fit fine where I was in the Army... I could have never been a Navy Seal because those guys are just plain freakishly nutso, but God love 'em they can have my back any day.... plus they bring the best steaks and beer to every fight. Seriously... they do.

Ahhh, the things I thought and stopped to do in the midst of such harried moments. LMAO

I remember my first visit to the "sandbox" - dropped into a hot zone... and into a fight... and I had to stop and gaze up at the moon and stars in the midst of it all.... so close you could reach up and grab them... very surreal moments... and then back to the reality of things less than 100 meters away.

So there's my ramble to reiterate that there is always method to madness... and unless you're a Seal, you don't get to qualify for madness. LOL

Keep on rambling and you're going to "strike gold in them thar hills!"

[.]

Really cool poem this was. I can imagine the love both have for each other...then something happens to the other lover, then the dominos fall, leaving only a broken heart in the end, because either one didn't love one completely, or one had to take some time out, or maybe one had to go to war or somethin. Very thought-provoking read! Brilliantly said!

Mikey

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

this sounds great.. It has a great flow.

[Requiem]

It does have a randomness and looking it over once again I can see the rap beat again to it. But only in a way that Linkin Park way like as Caine pointed out.

[NJ Schneider]

This makes me happy! I read it really fast, it sounded like something the guy from Linkin Park would rap in the middle of a really awesome song. ^.^

[Tamme]

I like the beat this carries. I think it would make a great spoken piece.

[Amor-de-angel]

Your rambles made a good flowing piece

[V. Lucien Maier]

bit random , but almost works for the peice. I like it.