Dreams- Chapter Four- Beauty

Chapter Four

 

I stepped out of the shower and looked at my pasty reflection in Ashley’s bathroom mirror as I wiped the residue off the cool glass. My hair hung in wet strands around me but my face was gaunt and pale like I hadn’t slept in a long time… And I hadn’t. I looked terrible- it was hard to watch as I remembered my face with full cheeks and a warm smile. So I turned away, wrapping a white towel around my thin shaking body. I was actually scared for the first time in my life… Scared of something other then being rejected by my friends or loved ones.

I only had a few hours’ left- fear and trepidation finally beginning to creep up. The natural human fear of death finally shaking through my façade and breaking a little of my calm appearance.

I was about to find out the mystery of death- if it was really nothing, or if there was an after life. It was a hard thought knowing my demise was a mere few hours away. I had faith all of it would be better then now though- anything would. Anything would be better then being the cause of others pain- even if it meant being nothing with no more thoughts or existence…

Maybe then I could relax for once.

I heard a loud, annoying rapping knock on the bathroom door and then:

“Ana, are you almost done? I want to start dressing you up!” It was Ashley. We had come back to her house after the shopping and I had taken a shower after she had- and now she wanted to play ‘dress up Ana’ a game I hated and she loved. But I would give her what she wanted… for now anyways. It was the least I could do for my friend. Give her another good memory, maybe one of the last ones she would ever have of the time we spent together.

“I’m done- I’m ready to be your Barbie,” I laughed falsely as I opened the door revealing myself- standing in a white bath towel.

She looked amazing- her brown hair already beautifully done in a bun and her make-up and dress already set perfectly in place.

“Wow,” I smiled, looking at her. She was beautiful- well physically that was. Her turquoise dress matched her hair and eyes perfectly and her makeup was exquisitely done. “You look… Amazing Ashley. Absolutely amazing.” Didn’t she always?

“Now, I’m going to do the same to you, well at least I’ll try my best,” She sounded like she was joking, but I knew she wasn’t. She had always thought of herself as more beautiful then me, and I didn’t expect any different. I would be a fool to think she would change.

“I am your prisoner,” I laughed- holding my hands out to her- as if I wanted her to shackle me. “Take me to your cell.”

“You are so over dramatic!”

We both laughed as I got dressed into a beautiful black dress with lacy sleeves and an almost French maid appearance for the bottom. I saw Ashley roll her eyes as soon as I had been done.

“What?” I snapped- looking up at her as she pulled out her hairdryer out of her own messy cabinets that looked like she had messily stuffed everything back into it, and knowing Ashley, that is probably what had happened.

“That is so like you Ana, you can’t look normal for even five minutes can you?” She asked as she worked out the wires. I sat blankly- looking at the mirror. I really wasn’t ‘normal’ was I? I dressed strangely, I talked strangely… I guess I just was strange. Well compared to Ashley of every other normal teenage girl.

Oh well. I liked being weird.

She sat me down on a chair and began to mess with my hair- drying it and such.

As she did the idea of beauty ran through my mind. What was beauty? The idea was simple- a look that was appealing to the eye…

That’s how the world saw it anyways.

But I was weird, wasn’t I?

My idea of beauty… That was a strange question. I thought of physical beauty of course, but there was more then that. There was emotional beauty- the type that wasn’t as easily categorized.

People all have moments of emotional beauty in their lives… But I find it rare to meet an all around emotionally beautiful person. Thinking about it, I only know two people who are just emotionally beautiful in all ways. Lizzy and Edward. They seem pure hearted somehow in a way that I never was and never can be. They seem to say everything with the best intentions and it makes my heart feel warm- like everything will be alright.

Yes, they are beauty- though not how the media would classify them.

But they were beautiful.

I had always dreamed of being pretty in both ways- and I hadn’t succeeded in either…

What a horrid way to live. I was less then average- and that hurt more then knowing I was average.

I knew Ashley saw beauty in the physical way- everything was ‘if you aren’t pretty to you aren’t good enough’. She was shallow- and it was easy to talk to someone that shallow- there was never the worry about her taking it to heart.

She normally didn’t listen to anything I said anyways- so I never had to worry about upsetting her.

But at the same part she was too cold towards me- and it didn’t want to talk to anyone who was going to treat me like a child, because I was no longer a child. I had grown considerably since childhood. And I didn’t like to be treated as if I was inferior.

It made me feel like s**t.

I watched Ashley tie a large black bow around my pony tail- a smile on her face.

“Your hair is cute Ana,” She smiled as she rubbed more jell through it.

 

Finally she finished with torturing me and applying a ridiculous amount of makeup and other such thing. She spun the chair around and I was amazed by what I saw. I looked amazing, every good feature standing out compared to my normal where everything showed my worst features.

“Amazing, are you magic Ashley?” I asked.

“I must be,” She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me. I looked like a princess. A Cinderella of my time.

“Wow…” I whispered as I stood and spun around.  I added a mental note that I should’ve worn eyeliner- it really brought out the bright blue color of my eyes and contrasted my dark hair perfectly. I also looked pretty- my face didn’t look so thin and sickly and I looked alive…

“You need to wear makeup more often- that might be why you haven’t had a boyfriend,” Ashley rolled her eyes as she cleaned up.

I looked at myself- a slight smile.

This might be a good night after all.

Reviews

[hhoosh]

(Hate Edward, so much, for no reason!!!)

This chapter was a bit strange to me. It had a different tone then your other chapters. It felt like it was a lot more personal, very psychological, as compared to the other chapters where I felt it was omnisciently emotional.
Maybe it isn't. Either way you pulled it off flawlessly!

[Vereiya Saturn]

The friendships seem to make the transition right to paper seamlessly from your thought process. Very well written. :D
And the drama-queens are often the ones making the most drama. I've also always thought that, and Ashley's ego is the size of a rather large planet the way you describe her. -_-;;
Keep it up, I can't wait to read more!

[QuillandInkWhispers]

This is still great. Why is hard for Edward to realize she likes him?

[V. K. Harris]

Excellent chapter, I really enjoy your writing, Thank you for sending it.

[Emily B]

This is really good. Noticed that she bought shirts. . . Can't wait for the next chapter.

[Requiem]

Well, then the grammar and stuff:
'I had never gone through life without a vice so some sort�' Did you mean 'of some sort'? When you're talking about Ana's love for him you have 'then' at one part... I believe it's 'than', I think. Remember when it comes to grammar I type what sounds right in my head.
'"Really, Ana, mean it," His voice grew cold.' Forget the 'I'.
You have an 'an' instead of an and... somewhere... towards the end.
there's one other one.. but I can't quite remember where.

I like how she's thinking about what makes her stays. And we're given a tad bit more insight into it all. Can't wait for more! And I do agree with Blackwater. It is addicting!

[Amor-de-angel]

I love it....it's going really well. I agree with the previous comment....can't get enough...your on to a winner

[NJ Schneider]

I feel like a druggy when I read this. Once I start I can't stop, and when I'm doing it it makes me happy, then when it ends I'm sad and want more lol. I am so freaking weird. Haha.