Dreams- Chapter Three- Ashley

Chapter Three

 

No one spoke a word as Edward walked in, with his arm in comfort around my shoulder as I cried, though Ashley and Lizzy gave me curious glances.

“You alright Ana?” Lizzy asked, looking between Edward and I for a few seconds obviously wondering what had just come to pass between us.

“Fine,” I smiled as I took a sharp sigh out. “I’m just upset, I already told you Lizzy, my parents are putting the house back on the market so… I was just…”

“I understand,” Lizzy smiled, looking back over to Ashley as they started talking again. Ashley was clearly annoyed by my drama but didn’t say anything. She hated unneeded drama, and I seemed to be the queen of it. Edward sat down, and gestured to the chair next to him, telling me to do the same. I complied and sat, looking up at the ceiling. I took a few deep breaths trying to make the nausea subside.

“You don’t look good,” He pointed out as he wrapped an arm around my neck. I looked at him, my head still tilted back slightly.

“I feel a bit sick,” I admitted. “I do need my cigarettes and you just made me put mine out.” I said as he looked at me with sad eyes. “I didn’t bring any gum either, so I’ll be alright. I just need to smoke again soon.” I sighed guiltily.

I saw his sad eyes look at me as I took a long breath out and rested my head gently on his shoulder. We sat for a long time, my nausea subsiding slightly with long deep breaths.

“Like I said, we’re here for you, well I am.” He said as I closed my eyes, taking in the moment. “So don’t resort to smoking, alright?” I didn’t answer. I had never gone through life without a vice so some sort… Well it wouldn’t matter. I might as well comply to him today, tomorrow would never come.

I might as well try and please him for the day.

“I’ll try,” I choked out, feeling bad for my blatant lies.

“Really, Ana, mean it,” His voice grew cold.

“I’ll try, I can’t promise you more,” I made it clear, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

“I’m taking your word for it,” He told me, looking down at me.

Every time he comforted me it was easy for me to see why I had fallen for him. There was no doubt that he cared and he was sincere about his caring. I envied him, but more then that; I wanted someone like that in my life always. I wanted someone to love me as much as he did… I wanted him.

I stopped thinking before the thoughts of stopping my suicide came back. It was too late to turn back. God had said his goodbyes to me, I no longer a pure and innocent child that he protects- he had expected me to be able to stand on my own…

But I had failed.

I had no right to continue.

Tears came to my eyes again and I felt his arm pull me closer and let me cry into his shirt. He was one of my best friends, and I would never forget that. Through it all I would remember how much he had been my friend, even if I had always wanted so much more.

Finally I felt Ashley tap my shoulder and say her mother had come. I staggered up, and looked over at Lizzy. This was the last time I would see her… Ever. Fighting tears I walked over to her and hugged her tightly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I choked out, feeling like the worlds biggest b***h as she hugged me.

“Feel better, okay Ana?” She smiled making me choke.

“Alright,” I forced a fake smile. “I’ll see you tonight, okay Edward?” He nodded carefully, giving me another hug.

I grabbed my over night bag and walked toward the car with Ashley who turned to me after we had left the other two.

“What was that about?” She asked.

“I’m just upset,” I answered, not in the mood to talk to her about it. I never told Ashley anything in fear she would scorn me. I couldn’t take her resentment right now. I just wanted a fun time today. We were going to go shopping and going to a dance that would be fun. And I would see Edward again, that would make me very happy indeed.

“Ana!” I heard her mother, Rita, calling from the car. I put on my best face and smiled.

“Hi Rita!” I called happily, smiling at her as I ran up to the car.

 

*

 

Ashley looked through all the dresses in ‘Hot Topic’ as we wander aimlessly through the mall. I had found my stuff a long time ago, now we were waiting on her, making me laugh slightly. Compared to me Ashley was really picky.

We had met in the 5^th grade if I remembered correctly. We had become nearly attached at the hip for three years- were there Ana, there was Ashley. That was until the eighth grade incident with my step father… We had a falling out then and it had never gotten better. She didn’t trust me anymore, and that was okay with me. I couldn’t expect her to welcome me with open arms… But it made me miss our old friendship dearly. I could clearly remember a time when we had been very close- but now days we had become opposites. She was stuck up- almost snobby and I had become a loner. Someone who was afraid of trusting people- including her. That had been a hard time, we had always been so close, and now we weren’t.

She was almost ignoring me as I browed shirts and such. I looked over to find her talking to a random guy who had been watching her for a while now.

I sighed and looked at my cell phone. It was only 2:30- we still had five and a half hours before the dance, and I was having trouble waiting. We also had another hour at the mall before her mother came to pick us up.

It was to be hell.

“Ana, can I go wander quickly and meet you at the pick up spot in an hour?” She called.

“Go ahead,” I encouraged her; she winked at me and then left. Finally, I could run around by myself and try not to think about what she was getting herself into. Personally I didn’t want to know.

I looked around the small dark store again and felt slightly comforted by the black all around me. It enclosed me and made me feel alright. And being the claustrophobic I am it seems strange.

I picked out a few more shirts and purchased everything before leaving the small store to go an get some food. I slipped my I-pod headphones in and walked along happily- well as happy as I could be, and bought some lunch- sitting in the top level of the mall and looking down at the mass of people who came because of the rainy Saturday. Most people in this town went to the mall when it rained- I preferred to be out walking in it.

I sighed as I ate some of the chicken and watched the people file past me methodically making me slightly more depressed then normal. Life seemed to be a series of methodical events, and some people found more, like Ashley. And some people found nothing, like me.

Nothing, is that why I was ending it? Because there was nothing?

It was the lack of something that made me feel this way, I knew that. And I had nothing left to show.

But what if I were to have something? Would it change my situation at all if I had something?

I realized I was unsure of that as I took another bite of rice and chicken. Then I came to the realization that it didn’t matter, I was forsaken and I would not gain anything in the remaining time.

And time was running short, and then I would have to say a final farewell... To my old friendships. To my past, to my life.

 

*

Reviews

[Jamie Fantasy]

I would really like to know more about Ana's life. There has to be more than what she's revealed to the readers so far, particularly about why she's committing suicide. I'd like to know more about that.

One thing I do like, though, is that we're getting a good sense of who her friends are. That might be a big reason why she's feeling so alone. Her friends aren't there for her in the slightest.

[Vereiya Saturn]

That is so like Ashley. -cough-
>.>

[QuillandInkWhispers]

This is great. So what happens next? LoL

[hhoosh]

One of the first things that came to my mind after reading this was nicotine addiction. The part when Annette panicked and had a nicotine rush was intense. It happened so quick, the nausea, confusion, hysteria. Maybe it was set off by her emotional slant, but it just makes ya think a lot about nicotine addiction, which is fascinating because it's kind of this moral-symbolism alongside the story. Or at least I saw that in it, which I think is neat (-'_'-)

A few grammar errors but i'm pretty sure Tallie Chernoff clarified them all.

I must say though, I got a hate growing in me. I really don't like Edward so far, seems like a pompous a*****e.
I hate you, Edward!!!!

Love it (Again!)

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

you did a really good job.

[Kaykay]

great job love it needs some work some double words but great job

[Requiem]

Some grammar errors and missing words.

'She looked at me, her eyes gleaming. "I know much you like seeing him� I could just slip it out for you-,"'
Just need to add 'how' in front of 'much.

When talking about edward you have 'I had known him', I believe that it should be 'I've known him'. But I could be wrong since m grammar is atrocious and i usually go with what sounds right in my head which 9 out of 10 times is wrong.

There was one more... but this part, 'I had no one who knew the real me and accepted it� The bad with the good. I needed it. It was the only was I wouldn't end it.' I can't make head or tails of the last sentence.

Besides that stuff, I absolutely love it! I love the interaction with Edward. I wasn't suspecting Ana to have any feelings towards him. The plot thickens and it becomes waaaay more interesting.

[Emily B]

Aw, poor girl, I wonder what will happen after the dance. . .

[NJ Schneider]

I'm in love. This is so far a kick a*s story. LOOOOOVE it. haha. I'm starting the one with the wolves tonight. Oh, and are you done with the drawing yet?

[Amor-de-angel]

There could have been loads of grammar and spelling mistakes but i would never have noticed. It had me hooked from the start. I loved it! The character of Ana is starting to reveal itself nicely.
I can't wait for the next part.

Well done.