Dreams- Chapter One- Tainted

Chapter One

 

The sun shone blindingly through the window that morning, shining directly into my eyes and waking me.

Damn Lizzy and her windows that lacked curtains of any kind. 

I sat up groggily, rubbing my eyes. My insomnia prevented me from getting back to sleep, no matter how little sleep I got- and looking at the old mahogany clock that hung over the grand piano it seemed that I had only managed to get two. I sighed in frustration as I got up; looking back at my friend who was tangled adorably in the sheets she had stolen from me earlier that night. She was such a child for a sixteen year old, but it made me feel happy inside…

She hadn’t been tainted yet. She wasn’t like me.

My head pulsed threateningly as I got dressed; making me feel that I was going to be sick. I hadn’t had a cigarette in 12 hours, Lizzy didn’t know I smoked, and I had to rush out before she woke up… Like I said, Lizzy wasn’t tainted yet, she had no need to know how tainted her best friend was. It was one of the reasons I was ending it all, I had too many secrets to hide, my friends didn’t need to know that. They had enough to deal with that didn’t include me.  I was a wilted flower, and there was nothing any of them could do to make me feel clean again… I watched her with sad eyes as I thought of all I had hid from my dear friend over the years. I know she always tells me everything, and she thinks I do too.

But I don’t, not by a long shot.

She would be the one I missed the most. Lizzy, the pure innocent one; the one who would always make a joke, the one who always smiled; the one who always stayed with me. No matter how much I cried and complained.

But she didn’t need that in her life, she needed a peaceful existence, and that wasn’t me. I was poison to her perfect lifestyle, and I was to be removed as soon as possible- and that was to be tonight. I had it all planned, a simple bath was all I needed; as long as the water was high enough I could slip under. I had it all planned out. I wasn’t going to leave a bloody mess in my wake…

That was the plan anyway. A simple note and a sunken body. I would blame no one, just my inability to cope, that was all. Though there were many factors that pushed me, Annette Stanton over the edge- I would not leave my friends and family with those kinds of scars. They would have enough to move on from anyways.

I finished pulling up my dark jeans, put on my flip flops and rushed out of the room, grabbing my purse before walking into the front yard and leaning against her long since barren maple tree as I pulled out a cigarette and my lighter- lighting it and taking a good long drag.

“That feels good,” I sighed as I looked up at the cloudy sky. I predicted rain from the intensity of the clouds, and that was good for me. A day with rain was always my favorite. I felt at peace when the heavens poured down on me. In fact, all precipitation was nice, by any standard in my eyes. Snow was my favorite of course, with its white, fluffy pureness it could not be beat. I was sad that I would not get to see it again; it was much too warm for snow today. But that was my price, and I was willing to pay it… It was more then an equivalent exchange.

I loved anything but sun, the sun always annoyed me. It was too damn bright for my liking. The fact that my parents had suggested moving to California was the pushing factor for me. I could not survive anywhere but this small New England town that had been the center of my world for eight long years.

 And I was not a bright and shining person like everyone wanted to believe. My smiles and innocence was fake- like the rest of me.

I took another long drag and let the smoke billow out- sighing sadly. It was to be a long last day on earth, I knew that much.

As I finished my cigarette my cell phone started ringing, and I fished it out of my bag to find it was Ashley calling. I answered with:

“A bit early to be calling, isn’t it?” I inquired, dropping the butt to the ground and stepping on it.

“You’re up, aren’t you? You can’t last that long without your nicotine Ana, I know you more then that,”

“You know me too well,” I laughed, leaning against the tree again. “Any particular reason for disturbing me at seven thirty in the morning?”

“Of course, you up for a dance tonight?”

“When am I not up for a party?” I laughed, looking back up to the sky. “I’ll have to ask my mother, but other then that I would love to go.” I was always up for partying of any sort, and Ashley seemed to find the best.

“Good, Amanda canceled on us so I thought I’d try you. I really didn’t want to try Lizzy, she hates these things.”

“Nice, so I’m your second choice?” I wasn’t hurt by this statement at all; I knew exactly how she felt about me… She wasn’t keen on me by any means; we were just old friends who didn’t want to sever our ties yet. Though saying we were friends was even stretching it a little. Close acquaintances sounded much more like it. We hadn’t been friends in a long time- I don’t think we ever will be again.

“Yeah, anyways- you are getting Lizzy up to go to band practice in two hours right? I mean- you two are coming? You know how long it takes to wake that girl up- I would start now.”

“Of course,” I answered. “As soon as I finish one more cigarette, I already have a headache.”

Lizzy, Ashley, our good friend Edward, and I were all in a band together. Well, if you could call it that. We knew how to play (well Edward did anyways) and we could put a song together fairly well. It was just fun more of the time then band. Edward and Ashley always joking around, and Lizzy joining them. I never felt more left out then when we were there. I was not a part of that world…

“You’re seriously hooked.”

“I know…” I had been addicted since I had stopped drinking; I had just gone from one vice to the next.

“Anyways, my mom will take you from band practice to my house and we’ll get ready there. Deal?”

“No problem,” I answered, shutting my phone and pulling out another cigarette. “And dance your final dance…” I laughed as I hummed a tune- staring back up into the bleak sky. “This is your final chance.” I rolled my eyes taking a drag. Then I opened my phone and dialed my house, pressing my small pink phone to my ear as I listened to it ring.

“Hello?” I heard my mom answer, sounding disoriented. I seemed to have forgotten exactly how early it was.

“Hey mom, I was wondering, could I ask you something…”

 

*

Reviews

[Jamie Fantasy]

Great opening! I'm not usually into subject matter like this but you are a great writer. You have a way of pulling the reader in. I'm really interested to see how this day unfolds. :)

[Vereiya Saturn]

I recognize more than a few people from this, some certain circumstances too. And their names, lulz. -cough-
This should be good. =)

[Taja B.]

This is a really engaging story. It's well written and developed, relatable characters, interesting storyline, and it leaves me wanting more.

Nice job. Thanks for sharing.:)

[Monners]

Really good. I look forward to reading more. This is easy to follow and I like the characters. =)

[QuillandInkWhispers]

Actually, its pretty good. I liked it. I hope to read more of the story. It sounds interesting. :) Keep it up!!!

[starrynight]

Hey! I liked it, but as you said, it is a rough draft so I'm not going to get too picky. Grammatically, everything seems to be in order. But, I just wished it was longer, then again the element of mystery is the intention so, guess I can't complain there either. I guess I know too little to say anything more! Will go on to the second chapter. Interesting start though. I am intrigued.

[Emily B]

It's a good start. Really too soon to have any advice, though.

[jasond]

This is the great beginning to a story. The allusions to suicide are very subtle, intriguing yet not too gimmicky.

It makes me wonder who "him" is..

I really have no suggestions, other than to keep writing because it's so short and I want to read more. :) Nice work!

[Amor-de-angel]

Let the story begin......

Good start,lets see the next part..

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

i like it, it has very good imagery