Chapter 1.5 - Aarow's P.O.V - Alteration of the Heart

This is from Aarow's (the main guy) P.O.V

I was with Jessica the most stupidest pea-sized brained blond HUMAN girl in the school – nah scratch that – in the world.Waiting by Jasmine's locker so that I could be with her when she came by here. I could smell Jasmine's scent flowing through the hallway, she was not far from here.

 

"Ooh I need to go and find the girls and share the goss, I want to sooo back-stab that pretty but totally emo chick Jasmine."

"Ey babe, why don't you go and find the girls and tell them ALL about our afternoon. You can give them all the dirty little details."

I made my voice as seductive as I could and winked at her when she turned to look at me. I still had her in my arms when Jasmine turned the corner. While Jessica was kissing me, she thought "Ha ha take that you emo s**t, I'm kissing Aarow a person you could never be with. Watch my tongue in his mouth. Ha ha yea just coil away and slit your wrists."

 

Jasmine was recoiling away from us as if she could hear Jessica's thoughts. She looked like she didn't like seeing us kiss one bit "Ugh go and get a room. You Humans are disgusting. No wonder why my father warned me to stay away from you naive humans."

 

She turned into her locker and Jessica went off to find her s**t friends.They were the s***s – not my Jasmine – How could someone so pure be a s**t?

Its not even possible. I walked up to Jasmine and pinned her to her locker. I finally had her in my arms, The one girl I have loved since I came here, Jasmine. She was an angel, I could tell because her blood did not smell like a normal humans blood, it smelt like burnt Jasmine. It was the smell of misery, strength, and hatred, She was an angel of darkness. I only wish she would wear no undershirt sometimes because no matter what she wears, she always has a long-sleeved undershirt on.

What does she have to hid?

Her Beauty?

Her Perfection?

 

No there has to be some rational reason for her to always wear undershirts. But the question is, why?

"What do you want Aarow?" She asked me with a dumbfounded look on her face. Hearing my nameroll off of her tongue had strangeeffects on me. How could she not tell that the only thing I wanted was her

"I want your perfection, Jasmine"I mumbled while gently kissing her silk soft neck. Just saying her name did strange things to me.

"I'm not perfect. Just 'cause ya think I'm hot Aarow. Doesn't change who I am." Ofcourse she thought I was human, everyone here did. They were blind to the fact that I was a Vampire. But no-one here thought of themselves as monsters. However there was always one exception to that ruleand Jasmine HAD to be the one exception. I could she her misery on her face, in her strangely deep gray eyes and in her trembling lips. I stopped because I could see that I was only hurting her more. My natural iron strength flowed through my body but as gently as I could I lifted her chin so that she could look into my eyes.

"Jazz, your the most amazing person I have ever met. How could you berate yourself to something that is less than perfect."I kissed her air soft lips and allowed her to fall into my embrace.

"Jazz, I love you"

 

"If you knew what I was you wouldn't love me, you would run now while you still have a chance."

Her silent thought flowed into my head again making me confused. How could she be thinking THAT!!! I KNOW what she is and I still love her. I would never run from her to save my own skin. I would fight for her, I would die for her. I could hear Jessica in the distance coming in our direction with her little posse group of cheerleader s**t friends and I knew that I would have to end my time in heaven now. I saw where Jasmine was going to and I would have to talk too her to. Jasmine ran out of the school doors and Jessica ran into my arms. I was torn between two worlds.

 

 

"Hey Baby, I just told the girls about this afternoon and they are so happy that we finally did it. They heard ALL about the pleasure you we gave to each other and they want to have a group session. Do you think thats possible?" Jessica was babbling on and on, I only realized she had asked me a question when she stopped talking. I was not really paying attention, all my mind was on was Jasmine. I agreed to what they wanted. My mind was in other places or more so one place Jasmine's mind. I was watching where she was going threw her mind. I walked out to my black Lamborghini Diablo. I realized they were following me from their thoughts.

 

 

"OMG I'm going to be laid by Aarow Curios. I wonder if he'll like my b***s. Almost every guy does, but this isn't just any guy...." That was Chloe. She was pretty but dumb and completely obnoxious.

 

"Ooh yea, fun time in the back seat of a LAMBORGHINI with AAROW CURIOS!!!! I wonder how big his...."I quickly got out of Liz's head. I didn't exactly want to know what she was thinking. Liz was pretty too and really smart but acted dumb to fit into the whole cheerleader role. She was a rich snob, who would even have fun with celebrities in their limos little did she know that most celeb's were a mythical creature, even Hugh Jackman was a werewolf and Robert Pattionson was really a Vampire but just not Edward Cullen my good friend.

 

 

 

"Yay more time with my honey poo poo's... He's name might be close to air but his..."Jessica's and Liz's thoughts were very much the same. Another thing I did not want to know is what Jessica thought of me.

 

 

"Jessica, babe we need to talk"

"Anything you want to say to me, you can say it to me in-front of my peeps"

 

"Ok if your sure"- I mumbled to myself - "Jessica, I'm sorry but we have to break up."Tears were starting to swell up in her eyes and I continued.

 

 

"I'm moving back to my real home in england and we would never be able to see each other ever again. I wish there could be another way but there is no other way." She continued to cry as she begged me to let her come.

 

 

"But maybe I can come and live with you. I could leave all this behind and come and stay at your side forever. Please just don't dump me. I love you." I knew it was all a show so now I screamed at her.

 

 

 

"No Jessica, the only thing you love is the pleasure I unfortunately had to give you this afternoon. I'm sorry but you and I are finished. Now get out of the way, so I don't hit you with my car."She continued to cry but she did not say another word. She got out of the way and I took off to find Jasmine, for some reason I had an anxious feeling that she was in trouble.

Reviews

[.Bunnie.]

Hmm, well, I think you did a great job with the characters' names (really interesting, I love Aarow), and you do a good job differentiating in them. However, at the risk of sounding like a nag, I think this piece needs a lot of work. The grammar, spelling, punctuation...all this could be edited with a few proof-readings. Also, something that a lady from my writer's club recently told me was that when first starting out in a story, you need to bring the conflict of the story out in the very beginning of the book. This gives the reader a reason to keep turning the pages.

I also had a little trouble....relating to parts of the story. The part where Aarow can hear all the girls' thoughts wasn't quite believable. Girls simply don't act like that. I'm sure SOME do, and without a doubt maybe one of those girls could have WANTED Aarow, but... Well, I'm sure you can understand what I'm saying!

I think with a little more time spent with this, it could be shaped into a great story. I think your strongest point in writing is your character ideas. Aarow is very creative, Jasmine could be very well-rounded. I think that Jessica is used in this story to make Jasmine jealous, but also try and be careful how you get the characters to interact; always make sure that you know just exactly how someone would react to a situation before you throw them into a story. I can't think of anyone I know that would let a guy pin them to a locker and kiss on their neck after just having watched him all over another girl.

I would just keep plugging away at it! Think of this as a rough-draft. Let me know if you ever want help with edits or anything! :)