Maybe ill be a comedian

New York City the only place where you mistake homeless people for trash and Donald trump for people, where rats outnumber people 10 to one and sidewalk gum outnumber rats a thousand to one.

But now I see this individuality stage of society which has girls shaving the side of their head after that pop singer Ellie Goulding but she totally copied this girl I was talking to, it was the other side, totally different, to which I replied not unless you used a f*****g light saber razor its not. 

Meanwhile stopping cold in the middle of an argument to send a god damn message, I don't know that much about the mind but i know if you dilute gasoline with enough water it wont be gasoline. To which she said there's a special place in hell for you, and i replied theres a special spot in your head for the special brick in my pocket, which i thought didn't say of course.

I hate when you get these no it all loser's who flushed their pipes with other peoples dreams that try to convince us that we or they are better than animals, cause guess what I've never seen a dog park his car at a traffic light to send a message about his human pet shitting on the new carpet of the new BMW.

This world doesn't make sense to me anymore, because I imagine dinosaurs to be god to be feared and then god ends up a tiny f*****g bee i mean giants to centimeter fuzzy pinstripe suits i don't get it, which is why i stop taking my medicine and start back again as an alibi just in case i gotta sting someone i got a second life.

But this I do understand, girls like small things like babies and big things like dicks, which is why these phones are smart and get bigger and smaller simultaneously, women aren't the only ones though, guys like big tits and tight (whistle)

Maybe I'm strange though cause i was born in jersey lived in Brooklyn for a year and raised on the long island which is why i got from depression and thinking I am s**t, to cocky thinking I am the s**t, to on top and thinking i don't have any sympathy for that s**t. 

But i will tell you two things you will never hear anyone in the world say, that guy from Jersey wasn't a tool and Kanye's music is just as good as he thinks it is.

I come from a town which is so republican you're a liberal to compensate, for example eventually a boy is gonna ask your father why girls and so f*****g nuts and you usually get that jargon that they're not they're just emotional which is another way of saying they are unequivocally disturbed so it makes sense like shaving the side of your head.

But here are two facts that aren't really but they're based on facts that only happened once in all of existence, Jesus saying to the wise man with gold that its good but what about a magic kit and simultaneously throwing gold in the air and storming out.

See the world need this like the worst American, the president, beats out the best Canadian, cause the president needs an bulletproof car but a Canadian needs a soul.

So if you walk away from this with anything let it be this prayer i can think it i can say it or i can do it, like my rules of engagement which i talked with my friends about which was asking a hot stranger if she has a gag reflex and actually doing it but then again is it too hard for you ladies but i just wanna be hard in you.

 Do you ever wonder if the chinese ask who ate all the p***y