THE HUNTERS

Ebony was stunned. They thought that no life would ever come here. What are they doing? Are they coming for me next? These thoughts tore through Ebony's mind like wildfire, their other thoughts destroyed by their fear as they became more and more concerned. Shakily, they began to walk over to the area of land that they had heard the gunshots from. As they crept over they heard, "Yes boys, we did it!" Yelled by a deep, manly voice. They were close enough to be able to peek through the dense bushes. Ebony couldn't see much, but she could see a deer carcass, blood oozing out of a hole in its chest. They could also make out several pairs of green, brown and black shoes. They could hear indistinct whispers, just before a booming female voice interrupted them all by shouting, C'mon now boys! We have to find more life to hunt down! Go,go,go!" All of the men had now scattered out to search through the trees and bushes. Ebony desperately scrambled to try and leave all of this fear behind, but it was too late. They had been spotted. The men dragged them from the bush she was hiding in, surrounding them, guns ready to fire. With little time to prepare a plan, they stared into the soul of each and every one on the hunters. The men and the fierce woman's eyes began to feel loose in theirs sockets. They soon fell out and Ebony collected them one by one. Some were saved to be eaten, and others were added to their collection, which they would use to swap between eyes on occasion.

A few days after all of this, they were ready to find some new, unfortunate victims...

Reviews

[Lore Keeper]

I think you have a pretty good beginning to a longer story. Paragraph breaks would be helpful and make the story a little easier to read. Perhaps you could add a little more detail to flesh out the story and possibly heighten the tension. Other than that I enjoyed the premise of your story.

[Fnaf fan]

Thank you for your feedback. I will do my best to take this into consideration when writing my new chapters.