The Fight Within

Just a little something that came to mind.

The Fight Within.

 

The night… It seems darker than usual. The air, thick and heavy. The moon, shrouded with clouds, yet still shining brightly upon the land. The sky, a beautiful mixture of shades of blue, so dark and mysterious. “Where the hell am I?” I began to wonder. I gaze upon my surroundings. It appears as though I’m in a graveyard. The trees around me, some bare, and others full of life, though all are dark and hidden in shadows, as if they were hiding from their day lit counterparts. There were no gravestones around, however, like a graveyard, it was still and void of life. The air was crisp and stale. Branches from the trees swaying with the cool breeze, the eerie mist dancing softly upon the very ground I stood upon. “Is this real? Am I alive??” I ask myself. I can smell the air. I look down at my hands, I feel them as well. My heart? Yes, it’s beating, I can hear it. I must be alive! A plethora of thoughts and questions ambush my dazed mind

            

“Alright, calm down Mike; let’s just try to figure out where we are so we can get home.” I try to convince myself. Home…now that I think about it, I don’t even know where home is. Frantically, I begin to check all my pockets, searching for any of my possessions. No wallet, no phone, no keys, not even my pocket knife! Nothing! What’s going on!?

            

I begin to walk through the mist, clueless of my destination. As I continue my trek along these strange mist laden lands, more and more thoughts and questions bombard my mind. Even through all the questions, the dominant thought was simply; “I just want to go home...” Funny, that scared feeling of being a lost little child seems never fleeting, even in adulthood. I can hear my heartbeat racing faster. Just then, I begin to hear the faint sound of what seems to be music playing far off into the distance. A familiar tune! The sounds of a sweet soothing piano melody accompanied by soft somber violin fill the air. It feels like I’ve heard this before, and it’s definitely making things a bit easier to cope with.

            

Off in the distance I can see the faint shine of what seems to be a light. I must be getting somewhere! I hurry my pace almost to a jog, then as the light becomes bigger and brighter I begin to run with excitement. Cutting through the mist as I run, I start to see what looks like a street lamp on the side of a road. With a quick leap I thrust myself onto the pavement. I stop just in front of the light, looking up at its dull glow. As I turn around, I notice that the mist suddenly ends at the edge of the street, as if there was some invisible wall keeping it from pouring over. How odd…

            

I look left, and then look right. Which way should I go?? My gut instinct says to go right. I’ve been told many a times to trust my gut instinct, and many a times has it proved useful!  Then again, there have been times where it has been nothing but trouble. Let’s hope this isn’t one of those times. I begin walking alongside the road, continuously looking behind me in hopes of finding someone driving towards me. I just want to figure out where I am d****t! After walking what felt like endless miles, I see a set of buildings on the horizon. Finally! I walk a bit faster, but then slow my stride with caution. I don’t really know what’s out there, or who is out there. I better take it slow, just in case.  Walking up, the town seems to be smaller than expected. The buildings look like small abandoned apartment buildings. The buildings were built of brick, with old wooden shutters hanging aside the windows, their paint all worn and cracked. This town looks like it was built two centuries ago, the streets and buildings laced with old lantern lights. Still, no signs of life. Is this a ghost town? No, it can’t be, all the light posts are lit up. Why would there be lights on if there were no inhabitants??

            

I continue walking, and out of nowhere a man comes walking across my path. “GET OUTTA THE WAY A*****E!”  He yells at me angrily, shoving me out of his way. Geez, what the hell was his problem!? I wanted so much to ask him what town this was, but something had told me he wouldn’t have been too helpful. He noticed the glare on my face, and began to question me with intimidation. “Who the f**k do you think you are, huh? Just who in the hell are you looking at like that, HUH?” he screamed at me. “Oh no, I’m so sorry about that sir, please don’t mind him, he’s such a short tempered man he is!” A voice said as a gentle seeming woman came creeping out from the right of us. “You look very tired young man, there’s an Inn just a few blocks down the road here, they are sure to give you a room for the night! Please go, and do be careful! Again, my dearest apology for this mans behavior!” She said with a kind, soft smile, all the while the angry man behind her continuing to rant and rave with tremendous amounts of profanities. She was definitely kind enough to guide me to a safe place, but before I could ask any questions she quickly grabbed the angry man and walked him off out of sight, still, the both of them bickering. Well, at least I know where there is somewhere I can lay my head for a while, and collect my thoughts.

            

Walking passed more buildings I notice that some had wooden planks covering the windows, as if there were people hiding in them, keeping something out. Strange, how dark this place was. “Sir…SIR.. Please! Help me...” I heard a voice cry from the alley way. All I can see is this hunched over shadowy figure. It’s way too dark to make it out. I slowly begin to approach it, and notice that it’s an old man, clothes tattered and torn, hair mangy and tangled. “Please…help me. Help...Me...” He continued to whisper. “What do you need help with sir?” I replied softly. “What can I do?” “Help me…Help me LIVE!” the man said reaching out for me. I quickly jumped back, startled and taken off balance. “HELP ME LIIIVVVEE! Please...” I couldn’t just leave, so I asked him “How can I…help you live?” “Help me live sir. Kill me. KILL ME!” he began to repeat, crying and whimpering. He was kneeled down, bowing at my feet, head in hands. Such a sad depressing sight, but I felt for him. I just didn’t know what to do; I had nothing to give him.

            

I backed off slowly, trying not to startle him. I had to find this Inn; I needed to get some answers! Walking deeper into the town, I noticed I had stumbled upon what seemed to be the heart of the town, a big fountain with an angel statue in the middle of it, holding its hands up to the skies, a deep expression of pain strewn across its face. There was no water in this fountain though, which was pretty odd. Yeah, odd seems to be the norm around here. Off to the left, there was a small stage, torch lights along its border. There was a man posted atop, big and burly, boasting and yelling about how amazing he was, proud of his many feats and accomplishments. In front of the stage stood one man, small and frail, gazing upon this man with great envy, clapping and cheering at any given opportunity. I didn’t even bother to approach them, as they seemed to into their own little moment.

           

Finally, I made it to the Inn. A soft yellow light poured from the crack of the door as I began to open it. The smell of candles burning filled the tiny room. Inside, there stood a man behind a great big oak wood desk. Clean shaven, slick combed black hair, dressed to the nines in a white and black suit. He stood tall, chest out. “What can I do you for, sir?” he asked. “I need a room, please.” I retorted softly. “Ahhh yes, you’ve come to the right place! For this Inn has the best accommodations around!” the mans voice boasted, loud and confident.  He slid a key card across the table, and signaled me towards the bell hop. I took the key and began to walk towards the helper, who was short of stature, shaking like a scared Chihuahua. He looked for my bags or any belongings, but quickly noticed I had none. “I…I…I’ll show you to your room, sir.” He said in a fearful tone. I reached out to shake his hand, but quickly he withdrew and cower as if I was about to hit him. Poor man, it seems as if he’s been mistreated, or abused in the past. He led me up the flight of stairs to the second floor, stopped at the doorway and told me my room was just ahead to the left, and then scurried away. Walking down the hall I noticed that the place seemed empty. No sounds from any of the rooms. The hallway was decorated with tacky yellowish wallpaper, and the carpet was a dirty white. The numbers on the doors were barely hanging from a screw, tilted over. I then noticed that my key card had no room number. Which room was I supposed to take?? Then I saw it, the only room without a number. I was scared. This place was creepy. Everything going on was just way too much to comprehend! I just needed to lay down, and hopefully sleep this off.

           

I slid the key card in the locking mechanism. It beeped once, then three more times and buzzed before allowing me entrance to my room. I walked in, surveying the room. I didn’t know what to expect, but this certainly wasn’t what I was thinking. Then again, I had to remember where I was. The room was small. A single twin bed, with a nightstand next to it. Across from the bed, there was a desk. On it laid a book, bound in brownish red leather, decorated with intricate gold designs along its border. There was no title to the book, so I opened it up, only to find its every page blank. Was it meant to be a journal? No, there is no pen or pencil to write with. What the hell…this just keeps getting weird. The room had a bathroom, with a small shower and a sink, again, looking as if it was from way back when. I undressed myself, and turned on the hot water in the shower. Standing in the tub, letting the warm water flow over my aching body, I couldn’t help but to think about the day’s events.  I couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening. Why can’t I remember where home was? Why can’t I remember how I got to this creepy place? Who the hell are these people that live here? My heart began to beat faster and faster. Then I heard it again, that familiar tune! That song…I swear I know it.

          

  Drying myself off, all I could think about was getting some sleep. I dressed myself, leaving off only my shirt. Lying in bed, I began to doze off, listening to that familiar tune. “Please, just let this all be a dream...” I said aloud as I closed my eyes.

           

It seemed as though days had passed while I was asleep. I opened my eyes, only to find myself in the same room, in the same creepy town. A heavy feeling filled my body. So much for waking up in my own bed in my own house…

           

I slowly got out of bed, stretched a bit, and walked towards the window. What? No way it’s still night time!? Did I sleep through the day?? Did I not really sleep at all and it was still the same night?? It can’t be! The sky, it looks so different though. It doesn’t look right!

           

BANG BANG BANG! “ OPEN UP YOU PIECE OF S**T! WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” screamed a loud voice banging from the other side of the door. “Please! No need to be so hostile! Let’s just ask him nicely!” another voice rang. “But what if he tries to hurt us!?” “HA! No worries! I’ll take him out before he can lay a hand upon anyone!” Holy s**t, it’s the town’s people! “What do you want from me!?” I pleaded. “If you don’t come out, we’re going to knock this f*****g door down and come in and get you!”  The angry voice exclaimed. ”Stay the f**k away from me! I’m warning you!” I yelled out at them. The door was close to giving in to the pounding from the angry man. I got to get out of here! Frantically I put my shirt on, slid into my boots and laced them up. I noticed there was a fire escape outside of the window, perfect for my escape! I ran to it, opened up the window and jumped onto the fire escape. With a kick, I pushed down the ladder and slid down it. The exact moment my feet hit the ground, I heard the door to my room crash open. “Where the hell did he go!?” “Look! The window! He went out the window! Come on let’s get him!”  S**t S**t S**t! “I need to get the f**k out of here!” I told myself. I looked left, and then I looked right. I knew that if I went right, i would just end up back at that graveyard looking place, which I knew had nothing around. Left it is!

           

I bolted off, as fast as I possibly could. Once again I found myself running aimlessly; this time the only thought in my mind was to get away from this bizarre town with its crazy a*s people! Shortly after I started running, I began to hear the chants and cries of the townspeople, filled with mixed emotions, from anger, to kindness. What the hell is happening? WHY is this happening!? Just run Mike, just f*****g run! I had been following the road, in hopes of finding some kind of shelter. Suddenly I realized that this wasn’t working out, so I darted off in the fields to the left of me. Running through thick brush and tall grass, I attempted to lose the crowd. Their war cries became more and more faint, yet still I kept running at full speed. Softer, and softer the yells became, until finally…silence.

           

Still at full speed, I burst out from the tall grass into an open field, a huge hilly plain. Off in the far distance I noticed a single tree. One. Single. Tree. In this huge plain. I started heading towards it. As the distance between the tree and I came to a close, the tree grew immensely. Atop the hill, it stood strong, seemingly reaching the heavens above. I ran around the tree, and plummeted at its base in between two thick roots.

            There I lay, facing the sky. It was no longer shades of blue, but rather it radiated a pale crimson. The moon no longer shrouded by clouds, revealed fully in all its glory. Something was different about it though, it didn’t seem to look like the moon. Its shape was odd, and it seemed to be bleeding. Could it be?? Yes, it looked like a heart... a heart that was crying. Its tears showered gently upon the ground around me, I however was sheltered by the great tree. So many unanswered questions filled my mind. Then it hit me...this painful realization.

          

  I placed my hand upon my chest, but felt nothing. No beating heart. Nothing. It was up there, in the sky. That was MY heart. This whole time I thought I could hear it, I thought I could feel it, but the sound was not coming from within me. But...how? Eyes gazing upon it, I saw the tears flow, and instantly felt the same tears escaping the windows to my soul, leaving behind a sad path of moisture streaming down my cheek. The heart, MY heart, it was sad. It was hurt. It was hurting. I, was hurting..

           

That familiar tune, it filled the skies once again. I couldn’t help but to start sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t take it anymore. This extreme feeling of hopelessness completely enveloped every essence of my very being, and it was in that moment, I decided…I decided to give up. Endless tears flowing from within, I shut my eyes, for the last time.

           

“Still playing that song for him huh, Nurse Betty?” Said the doctor. “Well you did say it works to lower his heart rate! There are times when it just increases dramatically! So I play this song, to help calm him. It was the last song being played on his phone, I figured he might recognize it and wake up.” Exclaimed the nurse. “That’s very thoughtful of you. I know there’s something definitely going on in there, scans show plenty of activity, but he just won’t wake up. We’ve made the calls, tried to contact family, but got no response. You know we can only keep him here so long. We have to do what we have to do nurse, I’m sorry.” “I understand doctor...At least we will know and remember him.. His name… was Michael.” The nurse spoke softly. A specific silence embraced the room as the doctor went forward with the process. Pull the plug, and end this nightmare. Beep….beep…beep…beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

            

“It’s finished. Call it.” spoke the doctor. And in that moment; “DOCTOR LOOK! HIS EYES! THEY’VE OPENED!”

               

Fin