The Worst Resort Week Ever

A Story by Flying Fox

Wisp Mountain Lodge is by all means not a very terrible place. In fact, many consider it to be downright pleasant. With beautiful vistas, mild weather, and a serene refreshing lake, this place is often loved by it's vacationers, and in 2011 won the "Camp Least Likely to Have Anyone Die" award. However, like any streak, it had to end eventually.

And so it did on the first week of June in the year 2013, where the lodge apparently decided to go bad, and to make up for lost opportunities, went up to 11.

Seriously, reality took a break that week.

The campers in question were a group of six newly graduated high school students, three boys and three girls (completely platonic...mostly). Now no one in this group had really gone to camp before, but at the same time, they thought it would be pretty fun, and as they decided to have one last hoorah before going off to other colleges. The problem was that they were a bunch of high school kids going to the woods, and if you've seen half of all horror movies ever, you'd know that there was no way this would end well.

It started on the trip to, where the car blew a flat on the road up to the camp. Now, the camp itself was fairly elevated, and surrounded by about a mile of forest. So, the campers had to get their belongings and trek through about a mile on a road surrounded by thick, mosquito-infested woods. Oh, and it was at about 9 pm.

On top of a few of them being far to tired to eat after the trip, going to sleep would as well prove to be a bit of a challenge. For starters, it rained... really really hard. On top of that, not only did it rain, but the cabins were made entirely of log, and hadn't been maintained in a while. So it leaked, mildly at first, and then quite profusely. Adding on to that, the humidity increased the predicted temperature from a decently warm 76 degrees to somewhere in the low hundreds (seriously, it rained so much).

At this unfortunate turn of events, the leader of the group tried to reassure them by saying, "I mean, hey, it can't get any worse right?"

That night, after a very exhausting day, the guys awoke to a very loud thud, and turned to see a bear rummaging through their personal belongings. Fortunately, their high-pitched girly screaming was enough to scare the animal off. Unfortunately, it ran off with one of their suitcases, as one of them tried to smuggle some candy bars in an attempt to save money of snacks. After complaining to the park authorities about why there weren't more serious in preventing bears from entering the campgrounds, to which they responded...

"We did, and bears don't even live in this area. That's how serious we were." They then found out they were being truthful when one of the guys later stepped in a bear trap. Oh, it didn't have any teeth, and was pretty rusted, so it didn't inflict any injuries, but he still cried. It didn't help that the usual chefs were all sick that week, so they had to hire some substitutes from a local elementary school. Both a boy and girl got sick and threw up.

Despite many of the kids wanting to call it all off, the leader still decided that they should stick out for the rest of the week. And the next day, nothing much happened. The weather was nice and clear, the birds were chirping, and the wind was blowing softly through the leaves of the tress. Everything was perfect...

For the guys. The girl took a row boat and found out that there were sharks in the lake. They were, like, cat-sized, but that mattered less than that there were sharks.

That night there was a group meeting, and most of the kids were very rather obviously not wanting anymore of this place's bull. After having to deal with unbearable heat, bears, lake sharks, having their luggage stolen, crappy food, and one of the girls claiming that she was almost attacked by Bigfoot (wait, I forgot to mention that? Okay, Bigfoot happened... there we go), the leader of the group begged and pleaded, stating...

"Look, I know this has been a rough week, but this might be the last time we get to hang out like this, all six of us".

With his words ringing in their heart, they decided that he was right. They all had jobs and were about to go off to different colleges, so they had to make the most out of what time they had left. They were going to stick through with this, hardships be damned. They would use the time left to make memories that would last a lifetime; celebrate their friendships and the hardships they endured. So what if the first three days were awful? They would look back on this and laugh. So then they all went to bed, their spirits raised and ready to face the next day.

It took until the angry horde of ravenous weasels for them to give up that mindset entirely, take what they had, and drive home.

They made up for it by going to the zoo the next day, and everyone had fun there.