Looked in the mirror: it reflected All my demons back at me, All the shadowed insecurities That no-one cares to see. For who would dare to look so long As to see each flaw and love them one and all? The broken glass veiled secretly A world of different frequencies Where a girl decided she didn't need this life, Told everyone she knew that she was brave enough to die, Broke open the sky And unleashed the darkness haloed in her eyes.
Looked in the mirror: it reflected Moonlit tears of emerald cores Filled with the kind of seed of doubt That trickles down in spores and pours Like waterfalls that wash away The crusts of every shining day And the way they speak to me. Oh, decadent release. Oh, sweet relief. I see a wounded wolf dressed as a black sheep And stars that sing through crystals while it sleeps.
Looked in the mirror and reflected On the life that I've been given. That girl in there deserves it all For all that she's been livin'.
I was humming an aimless tune to myself in the shower today and this sort of just happened. I wouldn't in any way call this a song, though. It just has a slight rhythm to it in places that allowed it to evolve far more easily than my average write.
I'm rather fond of this piece the way it is, but I remain open to constructive criticism as always.
My Review
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Beautifully written indeed. The lines of this piece are rather beautiful and very true too.... It flowed rather easily and all the emotions in this poem were beautifully described. "shadowed insecurities" and "moonlit tears from emerald core" and then the last part "I see a wounded wolf dressed as a black sheep" and "That girl in there deserves it all, For all that she's been livin'." really touched me. The part where you described the girl crying..... moonlit tears from emerald cores.... beautiful really! I loved how this piece turned out. Thank you for sharing! :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank YOU, Moonlight. Your kind words are much appreciated. :)
This piece means a lot to me an.. read moreThank YOU, Moonlight. Your kind words are much appreciated. :)
This piece means a lot to me and is perhaps one of my favourite poems I've written so far. The line about the wolf in particular, I'm glad that resonates with you as it does with me.
9 Years Ago
I'm sure it does... ! This is one of my favorites too..(of the ones you have written). :)
I enjoyed this poem. It has a lot meaning and something that everyone can take away from it. It's the hardest thing to look in the mirror at oneself. Thanks for your expression
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
This is very true, it is a difficult thing to do, and perhaps more so to make something positive out.. read moreThis is very true, it is a difficult thing to do, and perhaps more so to make something positive out of it. Thank you, for stopping in my little corner of the Cafe.
Beautifully written indeed. The lines of this piece are rather beautiful and very true too.... It flowed rather easily and all the emotions in this poem were beautifully described. "shadowed insecurities" and "moonlit tears from emerald core" and then the last part "I see a wounded wolf dressed as a black sheep" and "That girl in there deserves it all, For all that she's been livin'." really touched me. The part where you described the girl crying..... moonlit tears from emerald cores.... beautiful really! I loved how this piece turned out. Thank you for sharing! :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank YOU, Moonlight. Your kind words are much appreciated. :)
This piece means a lot to me an.. read moreThank YOU, Moonlight. Your kind words are much appreciated. :)
This piece means a lot to me and is perhaps one of my favourite poems I've written so far. The line about the wolf in particular, I'm glad that resonates with you as it does with me.
9 Years Ago
I'm sure it does... ! This is one of my favorites too..(of the ones you have written). :)
The journey toward catharsis makes for a strong narrative in this poem. We encounter the deepest doubts of the speaker in this poem, an individual who questions her place in the framework of the world. Lines such as A world of different frequencies/Where a girl decided she didn't need this life,/Told everyone she knew that she was brave enough to die," are truly potent lines. Each resonates with a profound anguish from the trial of a hard life.
I am glad we see her rise from her ashes in lines like "That girl in there deserves it all/
For all that she's been livin'." She truly does deserve those things. The moment she realizes her power as a creator on this earth is truly beautiful.
It became the new year... and I came by to listen. Our thoughts are as we find and live them. Some mirrors we experience every day, others take a lifetime.
This was a thought-full pause ...coffee gets cold so quickly anymore.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
And I thank you for stopping by, Chris. I personally find there are few greater pleasures in life. I.. read moreAnd I thank you for stopping by, Chris. I personally find there are few greater pleasures in life. I think we would all find echoes and mirrors, if only we cared more to look.
Wow! It was such a lovely poem! keep it up and you will become a very popular writer!
Such great potential in this!
(Please read my story The Blonde girl, I think you would like it!)
Keep up the great work!
C. Lee Battaglia
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks C. Lee! I certainly hope so, but we shall see in the future. I know I'll be working hard to b.. read moreThanks C. Lee! I certainly hope so, but we shall see in the future. I know I'll be working hard to better myself nonetheless!
Sure, I'll take a look at it very soon! :)
I thought it was a lovely piece of prose and it flowed quite well. Oh, thank you, I am still thinking about the poem, it is one that people can relate to and I find myself easily looking in that mirror too: all my demons back at me, all my insecurities: loved it and can go on with many other beautiful lines, like: waterfalls that wash away the crusts of evry day, and the ending is nice as well...That girl in there deserves it all, For all that she's been livin.' I love it. Thank you.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Why thank you Confuser, your kind words mean a lot to me. I'm glad and honoured that you enjoyed the.. read moreWhy thank you Confuser, your kind words mean a lot to me. I'm glad and honoured that you enjoyed the piece, and that you even took the time to stop by and read it.
9 Years Ago
Lovely poem and you are welcome. How sweet of you to comment.
I love the line, I see a wounded wolf dressed as a black sheep...
There's something powerful about being seen, isn't that what all of us want and need? Nice job.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
It's true, all many of us only truly want and need in the world is to be seen as ourselves inside an.. read moreIt's true, all many of us only truly want and need in the world is to be seen as ourselves inside and out and loved for it. I myself have a certain fondness for that line.
Thanks for stopping by, and for the kind words. ♥
This may not be a song, but if it was, I could easily imagine this becoming a classic! I really loved the imagery and vocab you used in this, and I can understand why you're fond of this piece the way it is. There's nothing that needs to be changed, this is perfect the way it is! Good job!
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Wow, I don't know about that, but thank you very much! I'm so glad you liked it!
I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in denim and ink-stained cotton. Language and literature has always been fascinating to me, as well as mythology of all kinds. Those somewhat dark topics and.. more..