He Makes No Mistakes

An angry, autistic young woman becomes self-aware.

I was designed with a dented chassis and how dare I

 

not try to fix it. Should have read the blueprints before building

should have read the instructions not provided should have knocked the busted thing back

into place should have uncrossed the wires why didn’t you notice that

something was wrong and fix it. As if

the toy is at fault for coming out of the box with its head on backwards.

Imagine being upset at the toy for knowingly existing whilst defunct and not

doing the right and natural and unscrewing its own head to make you more comfortable.

Even though you bought it willingly, even when you saw it was broken.

How dare it still be broken when you take it home.

And supposedly the toymaker made it that way on purpose - Limited Edition! A doll

that sees in a direction you can’t! Get them now while they’re controversial! -

but every article I read proclaims loudly, heresy! False advertising! You should sue!

(And you know that doll is possessed by the Devil don’t you. Don’t you watch the news?

You should have burned the thing in its plastic when you realised it was made by that company.

You’re ever so brave to take it on.)

 

Now I’m yelling to a God I don’t believe in that I’m not fond of fate,

that I’ve found my place is just enough to be a house but has never been home.

I’ve taken so much bait you could call me Norman. It’s

Not Normal

to be begging for the kind of love you’ll never get, to be so sure that

Nobody Will Care About You

if you don’t make a hundred and ten percent every first time you attempt.

The instructions came not provided yet

I should have had them memorised before I removed the tape. Just like everyone else.

(Yes, everyone, sweetheart. You are the only one in existence

to ever trip over their own feet. I just want you to know that.)

But how on earth can I keep track

when the rules keep changing all haphazard,

like a toddler saying the others are cheating because he’s losing.

And if the toymaker intended that,

then I’m not sure I’d like to meet him one day.

For I was created broken

and sat between spikes pointed at the chinks in my armour,

given to a child who plays rough and then complains when his property doesn’t work anymore.

 

I’m sorry Mother, but unfortunately

there’s not wealth enough for a replacement of me.

Author's Note

Perhaps my favourite of all poetic techniques is the extended metaphor, especially when used as an allegory or for symbolism. Please comment on what works (and what doesn't) in this piece, but honestly, as long as it induces some kind of emotional response in the reader, I'd consider my mission accomplished.

(P.S Another common thread I've noticed about my personal poetry is that it tends to have more of the desired effect if spoken aloud. Alliteration, rhythm, half-rhymes and so on. I choose my words carefully.)

Reviews

[blue cave]

Wow, I really like the twisting here...and the force and rhythm. Your last lines are a beautiful finale, but after all that raw pain I'm not sure if your character is realizing their immeasurable worth (i.e.: irreplaceable) or if they are saying the Mom is stuck with him/her and they can't be fixed. The analogies are right on and I am feeling right along with the character. Great piece !!

[Bee C.]

Thanks very much!! I think the last line shows both those things - a defiant "you're stuck with me" to Mum as another step closer to accepting what they're only suspecting/hoping is true. Either conclusion suits. I'm glad you liked this piece and that you could identify with it.

[floraleverything]

I'm going to give my best shot at reviewing this, even though it has left me somewhat stunned. The writing is beautiful, and the content heartbreaking. Lines 17, 22, and 33 inserted quite a punch of raw emotions really well. Well done :)

[Bee C.]

Thanks so much, lovely! I'm glad you liked it. Those are among my favourite lines also - this was an interesting one for me to write and I'm just pleased that all the emotions I put into it are shining through. Thanks for the kind words. :)

[Nerdlige]

beautiful 100% beautiful i felt it had meaning

[Bee C.]

Why thank you, I'm very pleased you think so!

[Nerdlige]

It's no problem I only like telling people how wonderful the little things in life are

[Lola_Bee]

This was such an interesting read and write, I get it, or so I think. It’s sad yet tough at the end, self-worth is shaped by others but it’s the strong who embraces themselves and give their own worth. Love it

[Bee C.]

Thank you very much. I think a lot of people struggle with themselves internally when they oughtn't to, and that's part of how this poem came about - it's about saying 'I am who I am' and not changing yourself just to please others, even though you may find it less difficult or painful to do so. But anyway! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Lola_Bee]

I understand completely.