I'm Right Here

They stood and laughed together while I watched silently. I whispered quietly, "I'm right here..."

Something felt amiss.

Unsure as to what,

I risked a glance.

The sight was pleasant.

A bundle of friendships coiled into a classroom,

All singing together in song and courage.

I wanted to smile too.

I stretched the blots at each end of my cursive lips,

And followed along,

But they were not smiling at me.

They did not know that I was there.

I thought I could cry then,

For they are there,

And I am here.

I am smiling like a fool,

Wondering when they will see through my blushing cheeks,

My smile painfully wide,

My eyes uttering a different phrase,

Unsure as to where my hands should be,

So they hang awkwardly,

By my side.

The only person beside me,

Is my hand,

But it is not the person I want.

My hand presses keys on my only lover,

An electric piano beneath my window,

But all who have ever held it,

Made it tremble.

I am afraid to speak to them,

For they are there,

And I am here.

I'm right here.

They do not hear me when I sing beside them,

They do not see the tears in my eyes,

Or the heaving of my small sighs,

Or the pain behind the sad songs,

Or the quietness of my nature.

Though it is not me,

For who I am is here,

Not there,

And they do not see me,

Though they glare.

Their gaze passes over me like I am nothing,

And though I try to be apart of them,

They do not care.

They said that we are a team,

That we are in this together,

But I feel so alone,

Carelessly thrown,

Like a doll amongst hundreds in a room of toys,

Like a shard of glass from a broken window.

I am tired of being played with,

For it cracks my porcelain face and twists my plastic limbs.

I am tired of being carefully picked up,

Only to cut whoever dares to touch me and in return,

Be swept into a dust pan.

As they stood and laughed together,

I watched silently.

I whispered quietly,

"I'm right here..."

Author's Note

I am a bit jealous of a group of people that I am acquainted with who are all friends, yet I am one of the very few people who are not really attached to anyone in the group. It's lonely and here is where I have decided to express some of it (:

Reviews

[CM-Stars]

I love this poem. I have felt the same in similar situations. I just love, love, love this part:

"But I feel so alone,
Carelessly thrown,
Like a doll amongst hundreds in a room of toys,
Like a shard of glass from a broken window."

This spoke to me in such a deep way. I was moved to tears.

I love it. Such a great write!

[Dominik D. Rites]

Thank you very much! This review just made my day (: I am glad that you liked it!

[Haley]

I felt every bit of this. I can also relate so much... I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. You've got a real talent, my dear. Have you ever purchased a CD that one of your favorite artists released, and tried desperately to like each and every track on the disc? Or have you ever been able to enjoy a favorite author's work without the strange burden of dealing with the fact that you just don't like all of their writing? Anyways, the relevance there is that I truly did love everything I have read from you so far. I feel connected to you through your writing, because of how great it is and because of how similar the perspectives and feelings are to my own. Almost like we've known each other forever even though we're complete strangers.

[Dominik D. Rites]

That is also a feeling that I can relate to. It's so strange yet so amazing how people can be so deeply connected by writing and emotion. I'm glad you like my work and I feel like we could be friends if we spoke more. I would love to read your writing as well!

[Randolph]

You fed a touch of loneliness with a slice of loveliness. So beautiful. I sing as well. I find I'm more welcome in my words though. They are kinder hosts though equally demanding.
I'm a fan. Thank you.

R.

[sette]

actually it is a sad poem for me, because we all have the yearning to belong, but sometimes even inside a group there is still the feeling of being alone. maybe that is what human nature is all about the feeling of discontent will always be there