http://www.wattpad.com/2382373-my-poetry-collection-consequences
READ THIS and feel free to refresh the page a few times. (: It's for a contest, and the more reads I get, the higher my chances are
Being a victim of child abuse myself, I write poems when I'm feeling down. Which I am now. I got the weird technique from Ellen Hopkins, who wrote some books in script called Crank, Burned, Impulse, Glass, Identical, Tricks, Fallout, and Perfect. I am a huge fan of them. But anyway, this is true; there are many, many consequences that face an abused child. Some of the ones I suffer from are nightmares, flinching (what Micah does,) self-consciousness and a few scars.
But I should probably tell you that this is fiction, Micah doesn't exist, and I don't have an adoptive brother. (: We need to do something about child abuse. It's ruining too many childrens' lives. I am one of the few that have been able to get past it some, but a lot of others are not so lucky; they can't. It needs to stop.
~Autumn Tolmacs, AKA FlightlessAngel97~
READ THIS and feel free to refresh the page a few times. (: It's for a contest, and the more reads I get, the higher my chances are of winning!!! Yaaaaay! Anyway, this contest is important to me, so can you please go to that site? Thanks!
My Review
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First off, this subject is very sad. It made me feel sad for the brother in the poem. Second, I am sorry to hear you have a personal connection with this subject. I agree with you. Child abuse does need to stop, both physical and mental.
Now, on to positive things. This poem was well written and well thought out. This poem told a story in a very simple way. It was captivating to read. I did enjoy how you played around with certain words in this poem. That was a nice touch that added a little something to the poem.
Very well done! I have a foster brother from a Native American tribe in the north east and he exhibited all of this behavior when he first joined our family. Abuse of many kinds drove him to the woods as a child and he lived at a feral level for a long time. He has learned to live and love and trust again. Great representation of the impact from destructive human behavior.
Fictive or not, this is a scary piece. This is a hard dog bite in terms of prose. The concrete nature of it says so much. I was floored to put it mildly. Nice job.
This was really good. It wasn't descriptive (as in use of adjectives/feelings words) but it was very emotional (for lack of a better term).
I have seen poems/stories that are written this way, and I really like the style. It's different, and it doesn't work with everything. You made a very successful attempt at it.
The only word choice that threw me off was saying "Backward" instead of "Backwards", after reading it over a few times I got use to it, but it still made me snag the first time around.
Sad subjects are what I normally write about, which you will know more as I post more of my poetry from Wattpad onto here. (: Thank you for the nice words! (: I got that word playing stuff from Ellen Hopkins, the author of Crank, Glass, Burned, Tricks, Fallout, and Perfect. She writes her books in script. You should check them out. (: They aren't the happiest of books, but they're really moving. (:
First off, this subject is very sad. It made me feel sad for the brother in the poem. Second, I am sorry to hear you have a personal connection with this subject. I agree with you. Child abuse does need to stop, both physical and mental.
Now, on to positive things. This poem was well written and well thought out. This poem told a story in a very simple way. It was captivating to read. I did enjoy how you played around with certain words in this poem. That was a nice touch that added a little something to the poem.
,___, I have one thing to say: If you don't like me,
[O.o] I don't care. That's all there is to it. I've been
/)__) beaten around enough, insulted enough,
-"--"- humiliated enough that it do.. more..