I used to

Sometimes i wonder what happened to me,

Once a happy being is now a useless one;

A being whose mind just won't let them be,

A being whom, with life, they are very much done.

My nights were once so happy and full of joy,

As I spent time socialising  and having fun;

Now, I worry about avoirdupois,

And I'm concerned about what cannot be undone.

I used to think pain couldn't be this bad,

I did live in much blissful illiteracy;

Now, I can merely hope for the bliss that I had,

I do sometimes regret my great idiocy.

I was once used to being so happy, 

Always contented and so very damn mirthful;

Now, I'm just empty and so damn fearful

Of f*****g up and, towards myself, being hurtful.

I am surrounded by many others, 

So, sometimes, my loneliness I can't comprehend;

Friends would ruther leave, given their druthers; 

I should save them the trouble; my life I shall end.