I am scared

I am scared of being content,

The feeling of happiness always leaves me,

Me, my sick mind loves to torment,

I hope, from this darkness, I will soon be free.

I am scared of trusting others,

Like the many, they will very soon leave me,

My happiness they will smother,

"Don't leave me good sir", I continue to plea.

I am scared that I won't smile,

Each day that goes by, it's harder to pretend,

That my life isn't just a trial,

As part of my eventual bitter end.

Sadness is my very best friend, 

It helps keep my life very much together,

Without it, my life may not end,

It has led me to the end of my tether.