Flowers At My Feet

I sit here on my polished stone
Crying
It seems like I'll be waiting here for you
Forever
Salty tears roll down my cheeks
But seem to disappear before they hit the ground
Suddenly
I look up with a start
Seeing my dear friends and family
Laying flowers at my feet
Yet I can't imagine why
They're all sniffling and crying
Wiping away the tears
With the backs of their hands
As the procession seems to be coming to an end
I look for you
Lastly comes Daddy, Mommy and Sister
Each with a black rose
I try to ask them what they are doing
But no one seems to hear me
I try to reach out to them
Once again i go unnoticed
Everyone stands in a semicircle around me and my rock
When suddenly they all start to walk away
Still you are nowhere to be seen
I get up to follow them
And turn to look back at my stone
I stop in horror as I read the stone
Here lies...
I fall to my knees
Put my head in my hands
Cry
I'm dead
I hear footsteps nearing
Look up with the hope that this is only a cruel trick
To see you walking toward me
I smile through my tears
There are tears in your eyes
You walk past me and stop before my grave
And lay down a single red rose
Then you turn and walk away
And I walk toward the light
But before we both went
I turned around
And you smiled at me

Author's Note

I don't really like the ending, any thoughts? :)

Reviews

[blueyedany72]

I really enjoyed this. I just wish that you wouldn't have come out and said "I'm dead." I feel like it would give the poem a little bit more to let the reader come to that on their own, if that makes sense.

[writernubbin]

Yes I agree it is missing something towards the end...the pace and feel changed in a way that made me think I missed something (?) Yet, I liked reading it.

[prim]

this is beautiful, and i love the ending, you should keep it! i would have cried if he (i'm assuming it is a 'he') didn't look back!!!

[KAREN]

This is so good! well written and emotions fly! it is sad, but the ending seems happy too me!!