Unshed Tears

...what doesn't kill me...

What began as FWB
Has resulted in
You

owning all of

me

I've grown
blossomed
and evolved

Into a stronger woman
who knows she cannot solve

The worries and problems of

Your life

Forever Yours
and unwilling to close the knife

I desperately miss the days
when I felt

wanted

Scars of a broken heart

forever

will I be

haunted

I wanted to give my whole self
to You

And now I wonder

if of the big picture
I have lost
view

Can I truly be anything more
than
Your
friend

When in Us
it is not just me
in which I
depend

Trust
and promises

on both sides

now broken

I struggle to find words
in a self
now chokin'

On beautiful memories

that I hold
dear

I thought in You
I could let go
without
fear

Now I sit

broken

and alone

Without a purpose
and
without
a home

Wondering why
I chose this
path

Struggling to avoid
becoming consumed
in wrath

Choosing
to live
a lie

So through my devotion

I can find my place
by
Your side

Feeling unwanted

and
regrettably

used

In giving You myself
did I
open myself
for
abuse

I've committed myself to this path
and
to You

I wish somehow
We could begin
anew

Those feelings

in our early days

Seem to have vanished

and


faded



away

I fight my insecurities
to see
the pure truth

As I sit drinking coffee
in a Denny's booth

In many ways
You
are trapped
and wish
to escape

Cherished moments
with just You
I long
to make

Have I become Your means
to an
end

Should I have stopped
at being
Your friend

What
and who
to You
am

I

Cascading
down
My
face

Tears
of
doubt

I
now
cry

Author's Note

FWB = Friends With Benefits...an acronym once used as a playful term of endearment

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I truly liked this poem. The use of the language and the flow of thoughts took me in. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

One of your best work, this describes the relationship well.

[New Theory]

Lovely structure the poem was beautiful and was a good description of the relationship. But as they say nothing is permanent and so is this pain.

[A. Amos]

One of your best work, congrats!

[Lyn Anderson]

I love this. It is probably one of your best pieces, and perfectly explains the pain. I agree with Frieda however, the FWB would be better explained in some other fashion, in my opinion -- either the actual name, or something more general -- like what started out as fun ...

[Frieda P]

Not sure everyone is going to realize what FWB is, but you've written it aptly. We take a chance when we cross that line....