Rectifier

...just one more step further from shore

Just how deeply do I dare
venture into this ocean
Before I risk drowning
in a sea of emotion
Your eyes capture
my hesitant attention
Gazing into my soul
capturing my dissension
I've debated for days
what game I want to play
And I have decided
to take the journey
day by day
You've asked me why
my attention has turned to you
I believe it's because
I can finally be true
Not once have I worn a mask or
tried to be someone I'm not
You claim the ability
to uncorrupt the corrupted
and I think I'd like to be taught

Reviews

[Bluefire]

"You claim the ability
to uncorrupt the corrupted
and I think I'd like to be taught"
~*~
I love this one. The title caught my attention long ago and I've been dying to read it.
Not disappointed in the least.
Well done. ^^

[FlamingPhoenix]

Thank you! I'm glad I didn't disappoint :-)

[Bluefire]

You're welcome! ^^

[melissa]

Amazing poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them

[FlamingPhoenix]

Absolutely! Thanks :-)

[melissa]

You're welcome

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

WOW an advance in letting go here. Feelings finally showing through and taking the lead.
I've debated for days
what game I want to play
And I have decided
to take the journey
day by day
We are told life is not a game. we are only here once. Let it unfurl as it should. I think you'll enjoy the trip. Great piece again. Well done. Clive.

[FlamingPhoenix]

I enjoyed the trip--albeit a short one--which was what I wanted--I learned a lot! Thank you for your review :-)

[Ifreakinloveyou]

"How deeply do I dare venture into this ocean, Before I risk drowning in a sea of emotion," Great metaphor and imagery. I love how you start of with a questiona and then go through the phases of finally making a decision. Great job.

[FlamingPhoenix]

Thank you kindly for your thoughtful review!

[Aethereal]

We never know the good that may come from the chances that we take in life, but unless we take a chance we’ll never know. I was inspired to write this tiny gift poem for you to keep as your own:

Sway

Dare I stay,
or do I flee
from his sway
that beckons me?

Is his ray
a fantasy?
Is this day
the last I’ll see?

Dare I stray
into his sea?

[FlamingPhoenix]

Thank you so much for your visit, review and gift poem. I always appreciate it :-)

[Savannah Bly]

A very reflective piece. Good work!

[FlamingPhoenix]

Thank you so much. Yes, very reflective. We all have many sides and sometimes we all have two or more minds on the same issue.

[Jess K]

Another moving poem, I like the first four lines the best.

[FlamingPhoenix]

Thank you kindly--I love the imagery in those lines too!

[kublakhan27]

A deep and thoughtful snapshot of love in its earliest stages...I love the flow and the rhymes, which never get in the way of the emotions of the poem...it all comes together naturally and never feels forced...great work as always Phoenix :)

[FlamingPhoenix]

Thank you for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Phoenix, it is simply beautiful. I love the beginning..."just how deeply do I dare venture into this ocean before I risk drowning in a sea of emotion/Your eyes capture my hesitant attention" and the middle..."You've asked me why my attention has turned to you/I believe its because I can finally be true"
I think anyone whose finally found a person they can trust sufficiently to be themselves with and spend the rest of their lives with will identify with this poem. Wonderful job!

[FlamingPhoenix]

This poet has NO intention of settling down into a forever--I value my space WAY too much--but enjoy this journey for an undefined period of time--absolutely!

[New Theory]

My opinion, please take it in a sportive way, I may be wrong.
I am a little confused in the last lines of the poem, you are saying that "I can finally be true" then in the next lines you are saying "Not once have I worn a mask or tried to be someone I'm not." these lines seem to me contradicting each other.
The poet seems to be saying that he finally will be true but since he has never tried to be someone else means he has been truthful from earlier.

But again at the end the poet is asking "to be taught" to "uncorrupt the corrupted", so is he asking for teaching him to be uncorrupt or is he asking to learn how to uncorrupt the corrupted.

New Theory

[FlamingPhoenix]

The point is: with this lover, the voice in this piece doesn't wear a mask and can be completely authentic--which is a huge change from past experiences. Further this lover sees the voice's brokenness and believes it can be repaired and wants to heal.

[New Theory]

Ohhh!!!! I get it now. :). Thanks for explaining it to me.