The Fight Within Part 2

The readers get a peek inside his mind, soul, & heart

The path I take is not as easy as the life I must face. In life there are beautiful creations, but with those beautiful creations there are horrifying creations that counteract the balance of the world. This is similar to the Yin Yang and this is similar to what constantly goes inside me. There is a little bit of bad in good, yet there is a little bit of good in bad. Unfortunately for me, I will have no good once I convert to the darker side of Evil, yet I will still have the tendencies of bad inside me if I remain Pure. Of course who is to say that it will be nothing compared to the drastic course of evil running through the veins of my pumping heart. Is it fair to say that I alone can overcome the condemnation of my future? Or would that be not more than a lie that is told to me in order to push others out?

                I was born in to the world with innocents, yet all I can remember is a big flash of white light. Was that the source of power transporting me to safety, or could it have been the course of Evil to place me in a situation where it will be easy to sway towards the arms of Evil?  What is in store for this small thing of matter I call life? Was I truly born to spread chaos and anguish throughout the world of the falling? Or could it be I am in control of my life and only I can save my soul from giving itself to Evil? I am scared and fear making the wrong decisions in my life, but who or what will affect the out course of my life? Here I am standing among the Path of Choice, and I can’t help but wonder the many different ways I have been brought up.

I used to set my refuge in those I loved dearly, but slowly they started to disappear. Now my safe haven lies somewhere among the shattered glass and dark, black walls of my soul’s core. No not even you can get through for the door to my soul does not exist either in heart or subconscious mind. No, you will not ever see the asylum that I have created to keep away from the reach of those who want to gain my trust. I am scared and only on rare occasions do I disappear from my comfort zone to gain knowledge of what is going on outside my world. The rain is falling down and quickly flooding my head with memories of happiness and painfulness tears. My blood is starting to boil with Hell’s fire speaking to me about my heart’s desire and the sweet taste of revenge.

Revenge, how sweet that word sounds, promises me justice for all those who stole away my innocents of life and dreams. They promise to also fulfill my heart’s desires wishes that I have wanted with all my heart to be granted. Then the Righteous part of me intervenes and warns me of the happiness I had gained just through the great deeds I have accomplished. The tears that speak of the pain and horrid I have caused others and myself because of the sinful acts I committed because of the delicious taste of temptation’s alcohol.  Suddenly, a fight breaks out within me and I have no idea what to do. The headache begins as I feel the temptations growing stronger and powerful as the wisdom grows perpetual and loud. I can’t stand it I feel like I am going to explode. Please stop it! STOP IT NOW! They won’t obey my own soul has turned against me confusing the attitude of my heart. I am growing weaker as one part of me gets stronger. Which part is winning? I am unable to tell as I close my eyes to hold the pain in as much as I can, and drift to some sort of dark sleep.