The Shadows Become Longer

Dear, brother,

 

It has been quite a while,

Since you left me in the snow,

Since I last saw you smile.

Could you please let me know,

 

Why you have not written?

I miss you, dear brother,

Could you be near Britain?

Or have you left for another?

 

It's cold here at home,

The snow has fallen again,

And I'm feeling rather alone,

I've just seen the last of the wren...

 

So tell me, brother,

Where have you been?

Are you off fighting another?

I'd hate to see you come back beaten again...

 

Your eyes seem so cold,

They were once bright and alive.

Have you reached the threshold?

Have you the strength to survive?

 

I watched you fight Napoleon,

And wear the silly knight's cape,

To me you were a bastion,

A pillar of strength,

But now I fear there's no escape...

 

Please don't leave me, brother,

I couldn't bear to see you fade,

I could never find any other,

And it pains me to say I'm afraid...

 

The sun sets as I finish this letter,

And the wind is icy through my coat,

The snow makes the paper wetter,

But as do my tears, I should note...

 

Dear, brother,

 

Please come home,

I feel rather alone,

The sun is setting,

And my tears are wetting,

 

The paper, soft and slow,

The sun has died,

And left me behind,

With nothing but reddened snow...

 

My coat flaps softly,

Adding black to the red and white motley,

As I wait for you,

The shadows become longer...

 

Dear, brother,

Please come home...

Author's Note

This is for a writing assignment in my Lit. class, I had to write any type of peotry I wanted... Any feedback/criticism is greatly appreciated, especially becaue I want to get a good grade on this! My poem will probably end up one of the few serious ones because asking highschoolers to write any type of poetry they want get s little out of hand.... Hope you like it!

Reviews

[Ray]

I loved it, a lot of expression and feelings passing over to the reader, great job !!

[E. Ryan Miller]

The repetition, I think, is what makes this piece. It makes the brother seem all the more dear to the writer, and the wish for him to come home more acute. I didn't really see anything I didn't like... except that at times, at a few lines like " My coat flaps softly, / Adding black to the red and white motley..." your meaning seems to become a bit obtuse. But other than that, it's good.

[Austin H.]

I'm wondering which Napoleon you mean. Most likely the first.

It's a nice piece. Very nice imagery. The lines seemed to be a tad awkward, meaning that I could really find a flow and read it smoothly.

[Shep]

Its always nice to see old friends that have been missinv or out of action. If I was the teacher I would give you an "A+"but I have always loved your writing. Awesome poem you can find me standing in your cornner.