Christmas wishes

’Twas the week before Christmas, and nothing felt right"
A strange sense of foreboding kept me waking at night.
I ordered from Amazon, gifts with great care,
Hoping they’d strike and arrive with minimal error.

Much to my surprise, most sizes did fit,
And most of my packages managed, to not get lift!
I wrapped the ones that arrived with satisfied haste,
Still waiting on others mysteriously “displaced.”

With prices before those new tariffs take root,
When it will cost as much as my rent to buy a new boot!
Though I’ve lost the one person I had voted for,
The havoc has started before his foot’s in the door.

So I look in my cabinet for some antacid tablets,
Think of what he is filling his with and who will inhabit.
To redirect my mind, I checked off my gift list,
But a sense of pity took hold, for the ones left on his.

Now, I’m not bitter" I accept there’ll be change,
But does it have to be someone, quite so deranged?
Then it struck me, a solution was there,
As plain as the few remaining strands of my hair.

I could kidnap Saint Nick when he came to my house,
Hold him hostage till he removes that tangerine louse!
Yes, the children would miss stockings and cheer,
But the world would be free of this burden next year.

So, on Christmas Eve, I prepared with great care,
Setting traps and snares all around my lair.
Glue on the floor near the chimney with glee,
And loose handcuffs tucked into stockings discreet.

I spiked the cocoa and cookies with tranquil delights,
Even set snares by the twinkling lights.
Then I lay in the hallway, secure in my plan,
To catch the old elf with my traps well in hand.

I woke to a clatter that rattled the night,
My heart raced as I dashed to turn on the light.
There lay Saint Nick, in a perilous plight,
His right arm handcuffed, his left leg glued tight.

A snare had ensnared him; he looked quite the sight,
As he glared up at me in the glow of the light.
“What is this?” he bellowed, his voice full of ire,
“What grievance of yours has fueled this mire?”

“Santa, forgive me,” I stammered, contrite,
“But this Christmas, something just doesn’t feel right.
Please, grant me one wish before I set you free,
Unseat the red menace and bring peace to me!”

He burst into laughter, a hearty Ho Ho,
“My magic, my dear, doesn’t work like so!
It’s for giving, not taking, and lasts just one day,
Though each year I’ve sent him a horrendous toupee.

“Oh, the rugs I’ve bestowed" each worse than the last!
From shiny to shaggy, from kitschy to crass.
And with my magic, I’ve made him believe,
Each one’s a fine masterpiece you wouldn’t conceive!”

He puffed on his pipe with a pondering pause,
“I wish I could help, but I’m just Santa Claus!”
And before I could blink, the tables had turned,
I was handcuffed to the mantle, my lesson well-learned.

As he mounted his sleigh and flew into the sky,
He called out with a grin, “We’ll just have to get by!
Four more years, and some change may appear,
Until then, my friend, Merry Christmas this year!”

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this was a kneee-slapper. it is a very timely work, with biting social commentary. the coming years in politics are going to rough. particularly in america, but i doubt my country will see a day of quiet either. and i completely understand your hope for escapsim or a quick-fix. but the ending was a bitter but truthful lesson: "We'll just have to get by!" I dont know what i'll do besides that. i did march for BLM and stayed engaged 2016-2020. as the old saying goes, here we go again...

[Robert Trakofler]

LOL it is like a nightmarish Deja vu :/ I am afraid the repercussions of this election is going to ripple around the globe and all we can do is watch and hope

[Eilis]

Super fun, Robert. This made me smile and chuckle. I have been trying to deliberately just breathe and enjoy this holiday. It’s not always easy but things like this help. The uncertainty of the future is quite difficult to face. But thank goodness for our imaginations that can help us escape the some time grimness of reality.

I hope you have a good holiday there! Thanks for sharing your humor. It is good to smile through the fear and confusion and try to lean on hope for a moment.

[Robert Trakofler]

lol I hope it makes you smile a little:) I have been grappling with this feeling for a while and I suppose this years Christmas poem is part vent and part hope we all can use a little hope this year and I hope your holiday gives you a little lift too:)