The Crest Fallen Knight

A story of two souls that help one another to escape from the abyss of the lost. Just a prompt for a longer story.

The darkness churned within him, seething and slithering and worming its way about inside of him. it filled hiw with a sense of hollowness and dread and he sat there for an imeasurable mount of time just waiting for it to consume him. all he had to do was to let go and allow the darkness in.. it would end his suffering and make it stop and yet, something always stopped him before he could. He knew that he was not alone for there were others all around him. People who were slowly being consumed by the darkness.
Their bodies striped of hope as they sat in the freezing water all around they were cloaked entirely in shadows.
He turned to look around and saw them, these shadows, of people, the echoes of what werre left of them. peoiple who had lost all hope when they had been dropped...into the abyss. The small amount of light that filtered into the area simply reminded him of how hopeless it was to try and escape. the walls of the abyss streched dveer upwards higher and higher only to reach a cloudy sickly sky that rumbled with distant thunder. whatever meager rays of light that tried to penetetrate the clouds were lost on their way down to the abyss. He himself could not remember how he had arrived in this place, he tried to remember something of his past, but the darkness had eaten the memories away
For a long time he stared at that sky,  the sky that was filled with malevolance. when he realized that someone new was about to arrive. a party of dark figures apeared at the lip of the abyss holding another shadow. they seized the person and threw them down. He watched as the person tumbled over and over continuosulty downwards until they landed with a splash. In that moment he was suddenly seized by the urge to help them. the darkness tried to coax the thoughts away but the more he stared at the persons limp body the more he couldnt resist. The darknesss seemed to grow cold and menacing threatening him to come back but he ignored it and struggled to stand. The other shadows around him mumered quietly as he stood. he grabbed the wall that he had been sitting againt and used it to hoist hjimself up.
His legs were numb from the cold and the dark cooed and mumered of how he should sit back down, how he could rest
to give up and let the darkness ned it. but now he was curious and he moved awya.
At first he moved unsteadily his legs unused to the moving for so long. his feet burned from the cold, as he moved. the person lay no more than a hundred feet from where he was. he began to weave his way slowly between the other shadows around him. they sat curled up comepeltley covered in a deep shadow that no light could ever begin to penetrate. he had to feel his way around and more than once bumbped into another shadow befor ehe finnaly found the person he had been looking for.
This person had not been consumed by the darkness yet, and he was suprised to find that they were wearing a knights armour. The knight sat in the water unmoving, they must be cold" he thought, suprising even himself. "why should he care about this person, there were others all around that were slowly becoming shadows so why would he care about this one person. For a koment he considered just leaving them but something in him urged him to help. He grabbed the knight under the arm and hoisted them up onto his shoulder. the knight made no move to stop him. He grabbed them and made sure they were secure before walking slowly towards someplace dry.
The abyss was incredibly deep and wide and not long after he started looking he found a small dipilated platform made of stone bricks sitting against the rockface. He brought the knight over and placed them down gently againt a dipilated pillar. The knights helm lay shut hiding their features, and he felt compelled to see what was underneath but he didnt want to disturb them. For a long while he sat simply watching, and wondering what to do next when he realized that what little light there was, was fading. when he had sat in the water letting the darkness take hold he hadnt paid attention to the passage of time. How long had he been here in this abyss. He stared at his arms and saw how they were covered in shadow. It was like a flame made of darkness the way it obscured his skin with flowing tendrils of charcoal shadow.  He knew that he must look like the others around him and yet he felt like there was something the darkness hadnt taken yet, he simply didnt know what it was. As he sat there he suddenly he realized that he didnt have a name, "how sad" he said muttering to himself, "I seem to have misplaced my name.
He was suprised to hear laughter. confused he turned to see the knight laughing, their laughter rang out within the metal helm.
he was taken aback, how long had they been awake?his confusion was replaced with a sudden warm feeling in  his chest. this emotion, what was it..? he could not remember what it was but it filled him with a feeling he had not felt in a long time. joy. Suddenly he suprised the knight as well as hiumself when he started laughing as well. he didnt know why but the ubsurdness of his situation made him laugh. For a long time they sat there laughing until finnaly he calmed down and their laughter died down to chuckles and was once again filled with silence. In that silence he sat. when suddenly the knight spoke. "Dante" they nsaid. "How about dante?"
Confused he turned to the knight, "what do you mean?" he asked.
You need a name right, well how about dante, for some reason i think it fits.
he thought for a moment, "Dante" he said testing the words on his lips. it felt natural forming the sound. he tried aagin, "Dante"
yeah he said i think that works. "Whats your name?" asked dante.
"Isabelle". said the knight taking off her helm. she smiled  and held out her hand, "A pleasure to make your aquaintance.
"so" said isabelle looking at dante, you have the darkness as well. She pulled back her hair to reveal that one of her eyes was comeptlely dark. My companions" she said gesturing to her eye" thought i was a lost cause beacsue of this, so they dropped me here". she let her hair drop concealing the eye but he could feelt he darkness beyond. "How did you get here?" asked isabelle. Dante thought for a moment and he realized he had no clue. "Its okay, said isabelle noticing the look on dantes face, "You dont have to answer. she looked down at her shoes and they sat like that for a while in silence. At somepoint dante realized he msut have fallen asleep because he found hismelf lying on the ground. he shook his head and looked around blearily and saw that isabelle was no where to be seen.
His heart stopped and he looked around frantically. "He felt like calling out but suddenly he felt the darkness again, stronger than before. "she left you" it whispered, "you poor thing" it sneered. Dante shook his head. "Oh you dont believe me do you" saId the dark, well we have all the time in the world to wait, but i can tell you now shes not coming back". "Come back to me" it said beconing him, "IO wont leave you" it said. Dante suddenly felt compelled to enter the water again. how nice it would be. "Its so easy" cooed the dark" no more suffering, no more betrayal, no more pain" dante felt himself stand and began to walk towards the water when he stopped. "No" he said backing away, "Im not letting you have me again" he said turning away" "Thats okay" said the darkness as it receded back into the water, "I know youll come back here eventually. "they always do."
"I hope you dont always talk to yourself like that" said isabelle suddenly.
Dante whipped his head up. there was Isabelle
"I ..I...I thought you left" he stammered.
"I left to go get some wood" she said.
dante suddenly noticed the budnle of sticks she carried.he felt relieved and sat back down against the stone. Isabele began working away at the fire stacking the wood in a pyramid shape with the sticks leaning up against one another.
She took some somewhat dry leaves and stuffed them underneath. Dante watched as she expertly stuffed and prodded at the bundle until suddenly  she snapped her fingers and a flame lit. He watched in wonder at the way the bundle went up. the fire gave off a warm golden glow and as dante stared into the flames he though, how lovely it  the flames were. Sitting there by the fire he shuffled a little closer and put out his hands. the darkness seemed unnafected by the light and continued to cling to him. he sighed knowing that it would take more than that to get rid of it, but it was worth a try. Isabelle looked over and saw the grim look on his face.
"whats wrong" she asked.
"well" said dante "I was thinbking, "I really want to see whats up there " he said looking up at the sky above, it seemed less menacing than before. he sighed and stared at his feet again. "Its doesnt matter, because theres no way out of here" he said grimly.
"Well then" said Isabelle standing suddenly. She dusted off her suit and reached out her hand to dante and smiled. "Id theres no way out. then lets make one."
Dante was awe struck, but he shook hi head chuckling and grabbed her hand, "this will never work he muttered to himself. but for some reason he knew that he was wrong.

Author's Note

I will go through and correct grammar later.

Reviews

[Bryan Webb]

This is a good start. I understand you're going back through later to correct grammar, so I shall leave that be. The piece is understandable but the flow leaves something to be desired. Some of the sentence structure could be more well rounded so your work is more cohesive.
There were very little to note but at times there were descriptive detail words that felt out of place and slightly unnecessary, as well as a couple that seemed repeated too often. Try using words that are synonymous so it doesn't feel repetitive.
Don't let the suggestions discourage you, this was still a good piece and a good start to what could be a fantastic story, because I assume that this is not the end. Keep at it, you got this.

[Sam Fisher]

I thank you for your support