Cuss

It feels like tar on my tongue,

My mouth is dry and my throat burns-

Horrifying twists as my stomach churns.

Those words still come easy,

But my voicebox is chained and has to force them out. 

Why do I let them out?

Those simple words will stay with me,

Floating about and polluting all I see

The memory of them rest easy,

Reminding me how bad I am.

I used to enjoy it,

Felt them to be necessary,

Natural,

Powerful,

And expressive.

But now their taste is bitter,

They are sickening and distasteful.

They offend me. 

They whip at my ears and stab at my heart.

They are degrading.

I’ll sound like a hypocrite

I’ll sound entirely fake.

They are only words

But oh how they are foul.

I enjoy the taste of tar,

As it makes me unhappy to speak them.

I enjoy how it peels my skin,

As I do not want to be near them.

I adore how it destroys me,

Because it is that

Which builds me up.